Brown on a Blog

Happy Birthday, Mom!

2011-12-03T17:16:00.000-08:00

Today, my mother turns 57. We saw her at Thanksgiving when she drove down from Iowa. She lives with a friend of hers outside of Des Moines, but manages to come to Springfield a few times a year.

The older I get, the more I appreciate her. Mom has always been something of a free spirit. My parents got divorced when I was 8-years-old, and she never remarried, often saying that she didn't need the hassle. She was always prone to unexpected trips to see the relatives or some old friend of hers my brother and I didn't really know. In fact, if there is one place where she feels most at home, it's probably her car. There is just something about the road that calls to a free spirit like mom.

Since it's her birthday, and I love her so much for all she done for me over the years, I thought I'd get her something really special.

It's a picture of a new BMW-M3. Love you, mom!

Down with Bears in 2012!

2011-05-28T08:08:00.000-07:00

I'd make a lousy politician. But that doesn't stop me from daydreaming about all the fun it could be to run a campaign. The campaigns I dawdle about are, admittedly, ridiculous.

I've joked before that I don't understand why predators are allowed to live among us. I'm not talking about sexual predators -- a fine and easy target for your average politician. I'm talking about real predators. Like lions. Or stealthy pumas. Or giant black bears. Though I'm not sure bears are technically predators -- they're more like hairy fisherman. Still, they can be pretty big and scary. Even the little cubs could stick a paw on you and leave some nasty scratches. In my opinion, the whole species is not to be trusted. We're right to put 'em behind bars in zoos. But, is that enough? I don't want to be an alarmist, but there's still a few roaming Ozarks' woods. Let the birds free I say, but lock up all the dang wolves and bears!

"Down with Bears in 2012!" could be my slogan. No one would vote for me. Then again, I don't want to be elected.

There are other things to be afraid of, of course. Like pigeons. I know I seemed pro-bird just a moment ago, but pigeons creep me out. All their cooing and fearlessness and germs. Something should be done. I like the idea of donning a military hat and ranting and raving from a pulpit about the dangers of pigeons. It's funny to me.

These days, the things others say and think and feel and promote have been on my mind a lot. I'm sure the tornado in Joplin has had something to do with it. It's been all over the news, part of my work and seems to be dominating casual conversations.

I feel horrible, as so many people do, about the ones who died and the people who were injured, lost homes or were close to the ones that died. To think about what those most directly impacted have gone through is both deflating and disheartening. As a result of all that chaos, many in our area seem to be reflecting on the meaning of their own lives. Those who believe there is meaning. Some have used and will use the tragic event to reaffirm their own world views, regardless of whether those views have any objective merit.

Case in point: Topeka, Kan.-based Westboro Church is coming to Joplin to show support for tornadoes. The church's Web site, www.godhatesfags.com, believes, apparently, that God's wrath is both present in our everyday lives, and totally awesome! It's disturbing, of course.

I've heard and seen a lot of talk about God in connection to the EF-5 tornado since May 22. Most of it has been inspiring: People turning to God for strength; Citizens helping one another feeling compelled by their belief in a higher being and purpose; and mothers and fathers thanking God for what wasn't destroyed.

I get it. I understand why people believe in God, why they pray and why they come together when times are tough. I also understand why they wouldn't.

It's hard, but natural, to try to make sense out of something so brutal, mindless and destructive. The world is a scary place.

Happy Mother's Day!

2011-05-07T23:49:00.000-07:00

The years go by, don't they? Today, I felt the sun penetrating a spring breeze and realized that my birthday is only about a month away. This summer, I'll take the fam on a quick trip or two, go swimming a few times, and then, before I know it, I'll be helping to pick out school clothes. Football and new shoes turns into Halloween, Thanksgiving and Christmas. Before long, the rains will bring back spring breezes.

These seasons are our fate. We're babies, then toddlers, then grandparents forever dancing and spinning around the sun.

As the summer of 1975 approached, my mother went into labor at the age of 20. From the pictures I've seen of her around that time she had long, dark hair and big glasses. She looks different now, but not too different, you know.

As a kid, what I remember most about my mother was that she was there. She was involved. She took me to my soccer games. She saved things I brought home from school.

I remember mom singing a lot. She was always very spontaneous, and very mobile. She was prone to unplanned trips to look at homes in neighborhoods we couldn't afford to move to for no reason after going to the grocery store or wherever. It's a trait I've noticed in myself as I get older. If I have time to take the long way home and turn up the radio, I do. She's the one who taught me how to drive. Now, I'm teaching Chase.

She lives in Iowa these days, but comes down to see me and my peeps, my brother and her friends three or four times a year. This last time she came down, she slept on the pullout couch she gave us. We played poker with the kids that night. She looked at a couple of my stories, and asked Val and I about work. I wonder how long it will be before Val and I are visiting our kids. I know mom really enjoyed it when our boys were still babies. We're already missing that ourselves. They're getting older.

I know what we have to look forward to. Summer's around the corner. Then fall. The long cold winter. And then it starts over.

Mothers know it, too.

That's why the good ones, like my mom, put school work on the fridges and band-aids on bruises. They come to weddings, and graduations. They pinch cheeks and take photos. They make our favorite meals. They play poker, and they ask about work.

Mom, we won't dance and spin around the sun forever. I'm old enough to know it now. Today, I just want you to know that I'm here for you. As life pushes us through the seasons, I'm here for you, too.

Love ya, mom.

Mr. Friend

2011-03-26T08:30:00.000-07:00

The devil is a dollar bill.
Green, not red.
Its face of death
Regal. Androgynous.
Gaze at his strength.
So formal, this ugly courtship.
A queen in her ballroom gown.
Knowing no love.
Shining God's light.

The death of Mr. Greven

2011-02-13T16:34:00.000-08:00

The highly visible and active local disability advocate Greg Greven, 42, died when his van caught on fire in his driveway Thursday night. I heard about his death from a city press release on Friday that expressed the condolences of city leaders for the chairman of the Mayor's Commission on Human Rights. I learned more about his death and its local impact in the News-Leader story that followed.

I met Greven when he was still working with the Southwest Center for Independent Living. I wrote a small feature on him for the Community Free Press as an intern called "Advocate, Volunteer, Advisor" (Page 19, Oct. 10, 2007 issue). Since being on the city beat at the business journal, I have seen Greven at every council meeting. He sat in front of me toward the back of the room. I said "hi" to him once recently, and he said "hi" back, but I don't know that he remembered me.

When I read that he'd died, I automatically said to myself, "That can't be--I just saw him Monday night." As if, my seeing him ought to have prevented his death, somehow.

My sit-down interview with Greven in 2007 left an impression on me. First of all, he could care less that I was featuring him. He was more interested in talking about issues that touched the lives of disabled people. Second, I came away from the experience sobered by the reminder that life has severe consequences.

Greven became disabled from a 1989 automobile accident. The details are fuzzy now, but I recall that he said he loved to drive fast. At the time of the interview, he was preparing to take a group of disabled individuals to Lucus Oil Speedway. His brother, Kevin Greven, was the track manager. Cars, Greg said, were a big part of his young life. He seemed genuinely excited when he talked about the track.

For whatever reason, I fell into a brief daydream looking at Greven's limp hand hanging by the side of his wheelchair on Monday night. He was directly in front of me. I tried to imagine his hand as mine. I wondered how much of it he could feel, and how often he must have been frustrated by its limited usefulness.

Greg Greven got out in the snow Monday night and went to a council meeting. He wasn't there to speak or be a sounding board for an ordinance related to accessibility. There was no such bill, and I can't think of any reason for him to be there or at any of the recent meetings except that he wanted to be.

Many may have heard about Greven's story and thought it was tragic. While his death was horrible news, I think Greven's story itself is inspiring. RIP, Mr. Greven.

Willy time, y'all

2011-01-30T13:32:00.000-08:00

Happy Birthday, Will!

My step-son turns 19 today, and though I doubt he'll even read this, wishing the boys a happy-happy on the blog has become something of a tradition.

Lil' Will Duncan was almost 3 when I started dating his mommy in January 1995. I noticed then that he was abnormally strong for his size. These days, he beats me up at least once per visit when he's on break from MU. He likes to catch me laying around watching T.V. in my room and jump on me before I have a chance to react.

Like a fool, I normally try fight back to salvage some pride, but honestly, he pins me down with ease. I told him recently I should have been meaner to him when he was small. He agreed, and said I missed my chance.

Will is living in Columbia now, and Chase has taken over his old room. I thought Will might try to take it back on breaks, but I think he wanted Chase to have it. Will chooses the couch or stays with his Mee Maw at night, now.

When he visits, he plays his old X-Box or watches NFL Network--we agree that Deion Sanders and Rich Eisen are the best analysts around. When he's at home, he'll go for a walk around the block at least two or three times a day. If he doesn't become a computer programmer or engineer, I'm willing to bet he becomes a personal trainer. I wondered after he left for school if our neighbors noticed they weren't seeing him as much.

Will is a full-fledged grown up these days, and frankly, it's a little sad to think about. I'm not sure why, though. He's smarter, stronger, healthier and more well-rounded than I was at his age. Heck, he's got me beat now.

As he pushes his way through college and then finds his way into the working world, my hope for him is that doesn't ever feel defeated by all the morons and crazies out there. In other words, I'm proud of him. He's headstrong, smart, tough, funny and fair-minded. I couldn't have picked a better big brother for Chase, Andrew and Mason if I had tried.

Happy Birthday, Willy. M.I.Z-....

Art Hains Rocks Supreme

2010-12-31T08:10:00.000-08:00

In case you didn't know, the best radio play-by-play caller in America is living and working in Springfield, MO.

Art Hains, the radio voice of Missouri State basketball, proved once again the other night that there is nobody in the world better at yelling.

The voice of the Bears most recently lost it when Kyle Weems sank a 3-pointer with 2.5 seconds left to sink the Jayhawk-dream-killing Northern Iowa Panthers 58-57 in Cedar Falls.

Listen to the last 30 seconds of the game by clicking this link to www.radiospringfield.com and pressing play on the 12-29 radiocast. It only takes a few seconds download, and then you can click in the middle of the white to pick a spot in the game. You can hear the end call in the 2:14 minute, but I suggest going back to a couple of minutes to get the full effect.

If you can't feel what this guy is doing, you have no soul. Go Bears!

Ask and/or tell

2010-12-19T18:16:00.000-08:00

Ding dong the witch is dead.

I don't know if I feel the way I do because I love to root for the underdog, or if it's because I have known family members who are gay, or if it's because I have worked with homosexuals I respected and considered to be my friends or if it's because I have a distaste for injustice in general, but the news that Don't Ask Don't Tell is soon to be repealed made me feel proud.

I'm proud of our country, and I'm proud of our legislators for doing the right thing by standing up for the rights of homosexual citizens.

I can't say it any better than Sen. Ron Wyden, an Oregonian democrat, said it on the floor of the Senate before the 65-31 vote on Saturday (according to the NY Times): “I don’t care who you love. If you love this country enough to risk your life for it, you shouldn’t have to hide who you are.”

Well done, gang.

That place

2010-11-29T20:50:00.000-08:00

Hello, my friend.
Welcome to
that place with chairs,
the most powerful idea.
It's the most powerful idea.

You have space here.
Space to be quiet, to heal.
There's a fire on a log.
We'll let you sleep in under
fat comforters. We like to sleep.
You need a warm shower?
You can throw up if you need to.
Or smoke a cigarette.
The fridge has pizza and cookie dough.
Check what's on TV.
The doors are locked and
the windows, too.
Everyone is here.

I had a song on my mind,
da-da-da-duh.
And I sang it real loud!
da-da-da-duh.
My friend, my dearest friend
da-da-da-duh.
I'll hold your face
and we'll climb a tree
and laugh into the clouds
forever. You are dead.
You are totally dead,
my friend.

Stumble on this!

2010-11-28T08:04:00.000-08:00

I am putting up some links to some things I've found on StumbleUpon that I have found useful or humorous.

Storm Troopers 9/11

10 sites that will warp your mind

50 dumb laws

New ways to tie your shoes

Internet TV Guide

The World of Cats and Dogs

I write like...

(I write like Rudyard Kipling.) Enjoy.

Stinky is 15

2010-11-21T09:32:00.000-08:00

Believe it or not, Chase Alexander Brown turns 15 today. Watch out Springfield drivers! Soon, little Chasio will get his permit and he'll be driving on yo' streets, and climbin' in your windows, so hide your kids, hide your wife!

The fact that I have even heard of the Bed Intruder song is a tribute to the birthday boy. But I digress. I'm here today to write about The Legend.

The Legend of the Chase

Now that Chase is getting older, I want him to know more about his origins, or at least, what we imagine his origins to be. The whole truth may never be known.

From what we can tell, Stinky, as I affectionately call him, was born in the Mark Twain National Forest in the late fall of 1995. We believe he lived his first month of life with a pack of blonde wolves. His mother and I found him with his head stuck in a log near the Finley River while on a brisk country hike.

Once loosed from his from his fallen tree, we saw a smiling boy with a headful of blonde hair. Valerie, who has an undying love for all of God's creatures no matter how ugly, insisted that we put the poor animal down. But, for reasons that are unclear to me now, I put my hand in front of her gun, and I said, "no, we can raise him as our own."

As he got older, we worked hard to make him just like a normal boy. We gave him regular daily haircuts and eventually weened him off of squirrels and toilet water. He is, in many ways, our greatest work.

Those who know him today would hardly believe that in the first grade Chase ran the mile at school on all fours (4:52 is still a Missouri elementary record), or that when he was 9 he nearly replaced Hugh Jackman's prized role in the X-Men movie series. Today, Chase is on the debate team at Parkview, and he plays basketball with real kids. We are so proud of how hard he's worked!

Over the years, I have taken the boy I call my son back to the forest many, many times to see if he might stay. But, his yelps of fear always told me, "Don't go, daddy. I'm one of you." And looking at how far he's come now, I can honestly say I'm glad he always managed to catch me before I got back to the car.

Happy Birthday, buddy! We don't hate you!

New Jobby Job

2010-11-03T08:54:00.000-07:00

I want to let my general blogging audience (probably millions of people) know what most of my Facebook friends have already heard: I got a new gig. On Monday, I accepted a job offer from the Springfield Business Journal. Starting next week, I'll be the new reporter on staff.

I'm excited about the job, and I'm anxious to get there and get to work. In my time at CFP, I found that I really enjoyed writing business stories and features, and so this feels like a natural fit for me. Also, I will be covering Springfield City Council meetings, which takes advantage of my experience and feeds my somewhat dorky interest in our local government.

In the days to come, I'm curious to see how this new career affects what I publish here. I wouldn't expect things to change too much, but I suppose I will want to be careful not to be too political. It may be that I will start a new website or blog at some point where I can be anonymous, but still have an outlet for some of my more creative ideas. I don't know, yet.

Regardless, it's a new day for me, and I'm excited to get busy on getting busy. Thanks, SBJ. You have not made a mistake.

Ballot guide for Nov. 2

2010-11-01T07:17:00.000-07:00

If you would like to review the measures on the ballot before voting tomorrow click here.

If you have questions about what to expect at the polls or want to know who to call if you think your voting rights may be violated click here.

If you want to know where your Congressional candidates stand on the issues (Dist. 7- SW Missouri) click here.

If you want to brush up on State House and Senate candidates in the Springfield area click here (voters' guide found in Oct. 20 issue by clicking on the newspaper icon).

If you want to learn more about the drugs you'll need to take before and after you vote click here.

Obama-scare

2010-10-25T09:21:00.000-07:00

You don't have to be too much into the whole reading thing to know that many conservatives are looking forward to the midterm elections. While political forecasters may disagree about the size and scope of the revolt, they all agree that Republicans should see their numbers in Congress increase significantly as a result.

Fine. But something about the hypocrisy in the air is making my soul feel ache-y and feverish.

Moments ago I watched a commercial that featured Roy Blunt saying he wanted to fix Medicare. You know, that government-run health care program for seniors. Blunt, apparently, is not ideologically opposed to Medicare. For if he were, it seems he would want to repeal it. He would say that the government can't run anything and shouldn't be providing socialist entitlement programs when the private sector is perfectly capable of insuring seniors.

Libertarians are often clear and consistent about what they feel the role of government should be. In short, military, cops, and that's about it. Libertarians believe a free market can better provide for many of the things we socialize (education, health care, etc.) and the government's primary role should be to protect individual freedoms (in other words, it shouldn't legislate morality).

I've often romanticized Libertarian philosophy. But ultimately, I believe a government run by elected officials can oversee effective educational and health care systems. Most people, like good ole' Roy, aren't ready to get rid of public schools or Medicare.

And, by the way, fixing Medicare is a good aim. Fixing Social Security is a good aim, too.

With the Obama administration in place since January '09, I've sat back and watched a number of conservatives demonize our president's liberal "agenda." At times, it's been funny to me because I remember well the calls of "Impeach Bush" that seemed so loud just two and three years ago.

Now, as I watch political commercials rail against "Obamacare," and the left's "extreme" vision for America, I can't help but feel sickened.

If you count yourself among the conservatives anxious to vote on Nov. 2, I'd like you to first consider a couple of things. Then, by all means, vote away.

1. A stimulus was needed.

When the economy began to tank in 2008, and the fed cut interest rates next to zero with little effect, pressure for the government to do something became a reality for people of both parties. It's easy for people to forget, but Sen. John McCain's own economic stimulus plan (proposed in Feb. 2009) was $421 billion. Neither political party was suggesting that deficit spending was irresponsible when we were still on the brink of Depression.

By late 2009, many felt Obama's $787 billion stimulus had had at least a stabilizing effect on the economy. Some others felt the stimulus wasn't aggressive enough.

2. Obamacare does not exist.

Democrats in Congress under the guidance of their president had hoped to create a "public option" as part of their plan to insure more Americans and reduce medical expenses in the summer of '09. But, amid talk of death panels and town hall forums gone crazy, Dems abandoned the idea in favor of reforms deemed acceptable by the more conservative members of their party. The result was legislation that featured an expansion of Medicaid and mirrored a conservative alternative to Clinton's universal coverage attempt of the 90s: individual mandates.

The truth is that health care costs in this country have been out of control for years. Clearly, industry reform was a priority for Obama. Was this a bad goal? No way.

3. Bailouts were bipartisan.

I was lucky enough to interview Roy Blunt in 2008 moments after he addressed local citizens' concerns about the TARP legislation (a.k.a. Wall-Street bailout) for which he helped secure votes. In a recent Columbia-Missourian article, Blunt states that the $700 billion measure designed to save troubled banks and financial institutions "may have prevented real economic disaster."

The article points out that while Robin Carnahan supported the stimulus, she opposed the bailout. Blunt, perhaps obviously, hated the stimulus but thought TARP was necessary. Neither have been very popular with voters, and are often listed as reasons for the emergence of the Tea Party.

On Nov. 2, doors to polling places across the nation will open. People will file in, mark this box or that, and collectively, their voices will be heard. It is my hope that they think before they speak.

Album videos

2010-10-23T10:28:00.000-07:00

Today I was looking up a video on YouTube when I got another amazing idea that I I can't really profit from in any way...wait a minute...prepare yourselves...okay, you're ready: Album videos. That's right, a video that goes from one song to another in one continuous visual vision.

Ask yourself, how often have I yearned to see a video of a favorite song on a kick-ass album for which no video has been made? Answer: too many times. Well, not anymore thanks to album videos!

For too long thick-headed and cold-hearted record execs have pushed singles and one-song videos. Boo, I say! But now, with album videos, everyone will be happy forever.

But, you point out, there may be a problem if the songs on your favorite artist's album are just too different. And, you add, what if no distributor wants to fund what amounts to an hour-long movie for what's likely to amount to no greater return on investment? To you, I respond as follows: Get off my back! I just wanted to see a video for Kid Cudi's Heart of a Lion. Is that so wrong? "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, No, Yeah, Yeah!"

Happy 8th Birthday!

2010-10-17T01:57:00.000-07:00

Today, my son Mason turns 8-years-old. He is, without a doubt, the entertainer of our family. If you stick a camera in his face, you'll never know what kind of face you'll get for a shot. Serious, sad, goofy, he seems to have a million poses. While we have never favored him, it always seems that if we are taking pictures at a family outing, we'll end up with more of Mason than anyone else.

One thing that people tend to find out quickly is that Mason loves to have a good time. He has a huge laugh, and quite often, the worse the joke the bigger it is. And like his father, when you catch him in the mood to tell a joke, he has a determination to his delivery that is usually more funny than his material. Mason is the only child of mine known to regularly make up his own jokes.

I've said it before, but Mason is also quite an artist. While he does great work at school, he is also known for many of his off-the-clock pieces. One of the things our family loves are Mason's pictures of Chase drawn in scenes of great peril. We're not sure how this started, but Mason has compiled at least 20 or so drawings of his older brother facing an impressive variety of life-threatening situations. Chase, to his credit, has been a good sport about seeing his likeness falling off a cliff into shark-infested waters or resting on a plate near a hungry lion. Were it another kid, we might be concerned about a violent imagination. But Mason is just a goofball; he cracks up at our reactions.

Over the last couple of years I've also been very happy to see a sensitive and kind Mason emerging. He appears to want to be a good teammate, student, friend, son, and grandson. He is also not afraid of work, and he really seems to be self-motivated. He has what all parents hope to find in their children, a good heart.

Mason loves playing basketball, riding his bike, running fast, watching T.V. and playing with friends. He routinely tells us more about the events of his daily life than we would ever think to ask. And the stories are always very entertaining. We love you, buddy! Happy Birthday!

Reggie, the "Tank"

2010-10-03T07:20:00.000-07:00

Alright, so I'm a sucker for a good story. While I normally pride myself as someone who lets e-mail forwards die with me, I recently received one that I thought could make my momma cry, and therefore, deserved to be passed along. Who knows if this is true, and it will take a few minutes, but this one is worth reading. Enjoy.

###
They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie,
as I looked at him lying in his pen.. The shelter was
clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly.
I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere
I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open.
Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.

But something was still missing as I attempted to
settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog
couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to.
And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local
news. The shelter said they had received numerous
calls right after, but they said the people who had come
down to see him just didn't look like "Lab
people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.

But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things,
which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis
balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.

For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls --- he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes.
I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he
settled in. But it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.

I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and
"come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it.
He never really seemed to listen when I called his name --- sure, he'd look in my
direction after the fourth or fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever.
When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.

This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes.
I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell.
The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two
weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search
mode for my cell phone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I
remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest
room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the
"damn dog probably hid it on me."

Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the
shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys
from the shelter...I tossed the pad in Reggie's
direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most
enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But
then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come
here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced
in my direction --- maybe "glared" is more accurate --- and
then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down .... with his back to me.

Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.

But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope.
I had completely forgotten about that, too.
"Okay, Reggie," I said out loud,
"let's see if your previous owner has any advice."

____________ _________ _________ _________

To
Whoever Gets My Dog:
Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter
could only be opened by Reggie's new owner.
I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this,
it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab
after dropping him off at the shelter.
He knew something was different.
I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip,
but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong.
And something is wrong...which is why I have
to go to try to make it right.

So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it
will help you bond with him and he with you.

First, he loves tennis balls.
The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part
squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always
has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in
there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't
matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be
careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made
that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.

Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff
already told you, but I'll go over them
again: Reggie knows the obvious ones ---
"sit," "stay," "come," "heel."
He knows hand signals:
"back" to turn around and go back when you put
your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your
hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking
water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He
does "down" when he feels like lying down --- I bet
you could work on that with him some more. He knows
"ball" and "food" and "bone"
and "treat" like nobody's business.

I trained Reggie with small food treats.
Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.

Feeding schedule: twice a day,
once about seven in the morning, and again at six in
the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter
has the brand.

He's up on his shots.
Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with
yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when
he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet.
Good luck getting him in the car.
I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.

Finally, give him some time.
I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie
and me for his whole life He's gone everywhere
with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if
you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he
doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be
around people, and me most especially.

Which means that this transition is
going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.

And that's why I need to share
one more bit of info with you....

His name's not Reggie.

I don't know what made me do it, but
when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them
his name was Reggie.
He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it
and will respond to it, of that I have no
doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his
real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that
handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting
that I'd never see him again. And if I end up
coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it
me and everything's fine. But if someone else is
reading it, well ... well it means that his new owner should
know his real name. It'll help you bond with
him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change
in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.

His real name is "Tank".

Because that is what I drive.

Again, if you're reading this
and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the
news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make
"Reggie" available for adoption until they
received word from my company commander. See, my
parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've
left Tank with ... and it was my only real request of the
Army upon my deployment to Iraq , that they make one phone
call.. the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell
them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily,
my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon
was headed. He said he'd do it
personally. And if you're reading this, then
he made good on his word.

Well, this letter is getting downright depressing,
even though, frankly, I'm just
writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was
writing it for a wife and kids and family ... but still,
Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as
long as the Army has been my family.

And now I hope and pray that you
make him part of your family and that he will adjust and
come to love you the same way he loved me.

That unconditional love from a dog
is what I take with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do
something selfless, to protect innocent people from those
who would do terrible things ... and to keep those terrible
people from coming over here. If I have to give up Tank
in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He is
my example of service and of love. I hope I honored
him by my service to my country and comrades.

All right, that's enough.
I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at
the shelter. I don't think I'll say another
good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first
time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he
finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.

Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home,
and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.

Thank you,
Paul Mallory

____________ _________ _________ _______

I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope.
Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even
new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and
posthumously earning the Silver Star
when he gave his life to save three buddies.
Flags had been at half-mast all summer.

I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.

"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.

The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.

"C'mere boy."

He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on
the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head
tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.

"Tank," I whispered.

His tail swished.

I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each
time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture
relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood
him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried
my face into his scruff and hugged him.

"It's me now, Tank, just you and me.
Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and
licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball?"
His ears perked again..
"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"
Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.

And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.
###

Death to Dinosaurs

2010-09-29T07:41:00.000-07:00

Death to dinosaurs is what I see
in my dreams, and it seems
fair to care why they die.
Large and leathery, wheezing,
stumbling, falling, and then
melting away. Vanishing.
They chased me, and I hid one of
the dogs they wanted to eat.
It felt like the right thing to do.

I don't know how to make sense
of these places, these dinosaur
faces, fading away over
entertainment centers.
They're random, they say.
They're the future, they say.
It's gray to me, and still it seems
to be something I somehow knew.
A place no less real than you.

In a land where dinosaurs die, or
tornadoes fly, or a land where
I'm still in school, how do I know
where my home is? What a home is?
What is true?
And if that passes as a home there, then
how do I remember to care? In those places,
with those faces. Fading. Dying now.

The Wifers

2010-09-23T06:45:00.000-07:00

Undeniably, the wifers runs the show. I don't mean in our marriage. I mean she runs the life show.

More than anybody I've ever been around, my other half controls her environment. It's really pretty impressive. She uses some unknown mind powers to get people to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.

She's always been widely respected/feared at every job I've seen her have, and otherwise reasonable people seem horrified at the idea of letting her down. Back in the day, when we worked at Hardee's, if she was starting to get upset at a string of ridiculous orders or an incompetent co-worker, people would fly in from out of nowhere to help out. Even her bosses. It was very bizarre.

When I was 19, we were together for months before I even realized I was in a relationship. She told everyone I was dating her to help pay her bills. And, even though I clearly had no money, they believed her. I still don't know how she got me to ask her out. These days, she gets me to do things for her without ever asking. It's amazing, and I don't know how she does it.

One day, we were in our bedroom after a satisfying meal, and she said, "you know what sounds good?" And I said, "Andy's. I'll be right back." I had her hot fudge sundae with nuts before I knew what had happened.

If she wants wants me to turn the light off, she doesn't even have to say anyting. She simply makes a lazy wave of her hand, like a paw scratching, and I know that means it's time for lights out.

And the kids, don't get me started on the kids. Our boys will defend her to the death, even if I'm the one whose right. Somehow, our children have been raised to believe that fathers have to do anything mothers ask. And they have to be happy about it. I never taught them that! I try to tell them different, but they never listen.

Her genius does come with a few eccentricities. She puts her deodorant on in an unassailable ritual pattern that would humble even the most OCD person -- so many strokes, and just a certain way, but I don't try to understand. She arrives at work 30 minutes early come rain, snow or hail. I'm not sure why, but I think it's so she never feels any pressure to clock in.

The bottom line is, there is no sneaking up on her; she already knows you're there. You think you're watching the big game, then you're checking highlights online. She's been watching her shows, and you didn't even know. If she's cold, now you're cold. She's got your jacket.

It's incredible.

Today is her birthday. I would have a present for her, but I already told her she can buy whatever she wants. I don't know how that happened.

Happy Birthday, Valerie! I'm glad I'm on your side.

Intro to Journalism

2010-09-09T22:50:00.000-07:00

I was recently upset by reading an article titled "People, businesses sending messages," which appeared on Page 2 in the Aug. 25 issue of the Community Free Press. The story was centered around an anti-Obama billboard that a group of local brokers had recently put up. The article struck me as biased, and honestly, it pissed me off to read it.

Let me be clear, I wasn't upset to see the sentiments expressed. The core idea, or what I imagined the core idea to be, was a good one: local citizens spend their own money to make a political statement. What angered me was that it seemed almost the entire story was focused on the opinions of one broker. No opposing view from a local Democratic official. No feedback from people who had seen the sign. No reflections from a local political science professor about the larger political divide in America. Nothing. Almost as an afterthought, the story's author, James Hanson, spoke to the billboard company about whether or not these types of political billboards were becoming more popular. That was at the butt-end of the article.

Having once been bawled out by Bob Mace, CFP's columnist, for not offering enough opposing facts and figures when I covered a local meeting on Clean Energy development, a.k.a. "Cap and Trade" legislation, I thought I'd send Mace an e-mail about my negative reaction to Hanson's story. After a couple back and forths, I was surprised to find out that the man who had something like 30 years experience in the publishing business -- he manages the day-to-day operations of a national auto-parts magazine -- didn't have a problem with the article.

In fact, he went so far as to make complaints he'd heard about the piece the focus of his column in the CFP's current issue. I was stunned. And then, I was confused. In the column, ("Sign post" Page 6) he seemed to argue that A, opposing viewpoints were too obvious to seek or mention, and B, other news was more important.

What?!?

I had to steady myself. Some background: I worked for 2 1/2 years in the same building as Mace, and while I found him to be somewhat abrasive and quick-tempered, he was without question one of the smartest people I've ever met.

I couldn't understand why the man that had seemed so strict and fair-minded when I wrote a story about Clean Energy could be so dismissive of my charges of bias in what I thought was a clear example of a one-sided story.

In case you are wondering, Hanson had expressed to me before, on more than one occasion, that he was no longer a Democrat.

Without quoting a private e-mail, I can say that Mace had said my story dealt with the underlying issues behind Cap and Trade, and thus, it required a look at both sides. James' story was just about a sign people had seen.

So, I sought the opinion of one of my former professors, Dr. Andrew Cline. Cline is a Journalism professor at Missouri State, and two areas of his expertise include political rhetoric and media bias. I asked him to review Hanson's piece, as well as Mace's column, and comment on them. I told Cline I'd quote him in this post, but I thought his analysis was so on point that I decided to share the comments in full:

Hanson's article about the "Embarrassed Yet?" billboard is stenography, not reporting.

I think it is appropriate to cover the issue of using a billboard for civic commentary given the placement, the sponsorship, and the stated reasons for posting it. This billboard is basically a bumper sticker writ large. A good article could have answered such questions as: What does it mean to use a billboard this way? Who else is doing it? Who are the others involved in this billboard? What do other participants have to say? Is there a history of citizens using billboards this way or is this something new? What have the public reactions been? Any reaction from city officials and political candidates? How cost effective is a billboard for civic messages? Do experts believe such messages are productive? How might opposing people respond? What's Lamar's policy on political billboards? Any ironic reactions, i.e. agreeing Democrats or disagreeing Republicans?

Hanson, however, mostly gives Stephen Critchfield a generous opportunity to state opinions as facts. So much of the article is merely Critchfield complaining about Obama that it detracts from what the news really is -- the use of the billboard by private citizens for civic commentary. Such ham-handed reporting/writing heightens the importance of Critchfield's assertions so that they become the point of the article, not the billboard. And since Hanson does nothing to check Critchfield's assertions, the article has the feel of a rant dutifully recorded by a stenographer.

If you're going to quote then you've got to check. It's called the discipline of verification, and it is the very foundation of good journalism.

It doesn't take more than one, maybe two short quotes to demonstrate that Critchfield is unhappy with the Obama administration, thus establishing the reason for posting the billboard. Hanson would then have been able to more fully explore the real issue with the remaining column inches, including adding more voices pro, con, and complicated. That would have been interesting.

Bob Mace's reaction column demonstrates a fuzzy understanding of the craft/ethics of journalism. Contrary to Mace's opinion, Hanson should have offered an opposing voice the opportunity to react given how much of the article is about Critchfield's complaints. Mace asserts that the "story is the sign." Clearly not. Count the column inches. Fully half the story is about Critchfield's unchecked and unchallenged complaints about Obama.

This issue of using billboards for public commentary deserved better reporting. Hanson's effort would have earned a poor grade in my Introduction to Journalism class.

I don't to want to beat up on James, but in my opinion, his article stinks. Mace's defense of the stinky article only serves to support the alienation of fair-minded readers and make Mace look ignorant.

Knowing how smart Bob is, and knowing he had said he was an old poker buddy of Billy Long, I can't help but wonder if Mace is himself so "Fed Up" with the current administration that his own judgment is clouded on this issue.

I hope and pray that something Cline has said will encourage my former employer and co-workers to be more mindful of other points of view.

Modern Life

2010-09-07T07:07:00.000-07:00

I died at the age of 68.
I was killed by commercials
and side-line reporters.
I died from a fear of death.
I rock'n rolled in quiet places,
and was killed by Pop Country.
Politicians stood over my dead
body and poked at it curiously
before remembering their luncheon
date.
I succumbed to 4 percent annual
returns, and the guy who laughed
in fresh bellows at nothing
particularly funny.
I died from instructions on cereal
boxes, and dogs that barked when
I strolled past their yards.
I died from the smell of make-up
and tampons.
I croaked from heartbreak at 13, 14,
15, 19, 32, 46, and 54.
Televangelists sitting in gold chairs
sealed my casket with hairspray
and lip gloss.
I died from working over grease
and under cars.
I died while watching my children die.
I died at the computer, under florescence,
in air-conditioning.
I was killed by long lines and waiting
while standing.
I died not knowing what I should have
known. I died having given less
than I could have.
I died from a panic of the heart.
A heart that knew what a good heart
should be.
I died like you'll die,
still and sober, without sound,
remembering none of these.

Laser focus

2010-09-03T06:27:00.000-07:00

A lot of what keeps me from being successful as a writer are all the fantastic ideas I get. Each one seems to be better than the next, and none of them are related to each other.

If anyone ever stole my wallet, not only would that person be disappointed by the lack of money inside, but he or she would surely think I was crazy.

In my billfold, I have little pieces of paper with oddly coded phrases written on them. Each is meant to represent a certain artistic epiphany of mine. A thief with an intuitive gift or a disciplined approach to writing could easily lift a career off of me.

You see, after years of working overnights in a donut shop, I've grown tired of forgetting all of my brilliance when I wake up in the morning. My solution: write my little golden nuggets down. And I figured since I've always got my wallet with me, I can just stick them in there and they won't get washed in my shorts. That's right, I even have great ideas for my ideas.

So what's the problem? Why no riches, yet? It turns out my notes are no good. When I do remember the idea the words are supposed to represent, I can never figure out what I need to do next.

Here are some examples of things I've written down and placed next to my 2008 zoo pass:

The Reason for Showers. I'm pretty sure this was an idea for a sitcom about a young college guy and his search for love. Either that or I just made that up now.

Kissy, Kissy; Love letters. This is a website idea. I'd write fake love letters between celebrities and/or politicians. The best letters would come from people that cheat on their spouses. For example, love letters between Tiger Woods and his mistresses. This needs to be further developed.

National Diary. If I recall correctly, America, as a person, would write in her diary about all the things going on -- in her mind? -- in politics or pop culture. I imagine America to have a teenage girl's voice.

Poor Jesus. ???. I think it was about Jesus in today's world having a hard time finding people to follow him.

There's an Old Man Dying in Pueblo, Colorado. I think it's a book idea about an old man who has worked in a donut shop his whole life. It seems less exciting to think about now.

Making a Sketch Comedy Show. It's a sketch comedy about making a sketch comedy. Could be something, right?

"I'd like to believe God could forgive me for killing him." I thought this would be a good line for one of my characters someday.

Curious Humans. Website or TV show idea. It seemed great and entirely original until I realized I was thinking about old episodes of Third Rock from the Sun.

Dear lord, if I ever get robbed please let it be by a young, ambitious Hollywood director. I wonder if I can sell ideas online?

The New Civil War

2010-08-23T15:04:00.000-07:00

Lately, I've become somewhat addicted to reading the online comments attached to editorials in the News-Leader. I have the feeling it's bad for me, like crossing the road without looking, or watching The Bachelor Pad.

A number of those participating in the comment boards often seem to look for any excuse to pick a fight. In an 8-27 op-ed written by the Pulitzer-winning Kathleen Parker titled, "American Principles Lost in Mean-Spirited Rhetoric", the author's pleas for common courtesy were tossed aside immediately. From the word go, comments begin with the how-can-I-remain-calm-when-the-other-side-are-such-jerks game. The rules of the game, ironically, include a license to spew mean-spirited rhetoric.

And as much as I would like to see our local civic discourse not be bitter, hateful and polarizing, I just can't stop reading this stuff.

Look at the major issues of our day: Health care reform, gay marriage, the Gulf oil spill, government bailouts, new energy development, and on it goes. All of it the perfect battlefield for those with entrenched ideologies to throw grenades.

Mostly, it's the same crowd that shows up from day to day. Waving their banner in their enemies faces regardless of issue. And sometimes the fights go off into deep space where an onlooker like me can get lost in the reply to the reply to the sixth power.

I almost never leave a comment myself. It somehow seems more dignified to be a voyeur.

While the issues most often battled in the comment world are different enough to be kept separate, I'd like to point out that I think some similarities exist. Each fight, it its own way, can be boiled down to an argument between those who say they want to defend individual rights versus those who say they want to use government to promote what's best for society.

Healthcare: no individual mandates or gov't intrusion v. all pick a plan, and hold companies accountable to reduce prices.
Gov't bailouts: survival of the fittest v. save jobs and stop a tail-spinning economy.
New energy: let the market dictate prices v. subsidized renewable energy and penalties on others.

It's freedom and responsibility against safety nets and equality.

And many may not agree with how I have framed these arguments. But, talking objectively about such a polarized world isn't easy.

In an essay titled "The Policy Consequences of Partisan Polarization in the United States" written by Nolan McCarty, Academic Dean of the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University, McCarty says America's political divide has widened over the last 25 years.

In the essay he argues that the effects of this growing divide include:

(paraphrased)
1. Polarization causes legislative gridlock.
2. Polarization is not ideologically neutral; it leans conservative with regard to economic and social policy.
3. Polarization alters the balance of power in favor of the executive and legislative branches of government.

In short, political polarization makes Congress more ineffective and gives the President and federal judges more power.

I wonder if any of this would influence the boys and girls of the opinion comment-land to play fair in discussions of policy matters. Doubtful.

And like the onlookers at Fort Sumter, I'll be there to watch.

The Dope Party

2010-08-05T08:36:00.000-07:00

For awhile now, I've been wanting to do a story on what people who are opposed to "Obamacare" think about the war on drugs.

In my mind, it follows that those who complain about the federal government overreaching it's authority when it comes to health care might also have a problem with Big Brother throwing people in jail for what they choose to do with their own bodies.

But, I need to talk to those people. And I need to do research. But with my pizza and donut gigs in full swing, I can't invest the amount of time I need to without some media organization funding the venture. I need to know, at least, that they may purchase my brilliant story if I write it. So, this morning I e-mailed one of the editors at the News-Leader with my idea. Here's my pitch:

Hello, this is Brian Brown. I'm the former associate editor of the Community Free Press, and the local freelance writer that recently penned the Shootout for Autism piece published in the N-L's Christian County editions.

I've got a question that only a journalist can answer: What do members of the Tea Party movement think about the nation's war on drugs?

With all the talk about enumerated powers in the run-up to the vote on Prop C, I began to wonder what strict Constitutionalists thought about the "war" that is costing the government -- according the director of Harvard's undergraduate studies -- $70 billion a year.

The prohibition of alcohol required Congress to amend the Constitution. Why didn't the prohibition of marijuana or other recreational drugs have to take a similar path?

It's no secret that Libertarians generally favor ending the war on drugs, but what do Tea Partiers think? It's a question I'd love to explore. Please let me know if you are interested; all I need is one week to put together a fantastic piece. Thanks for your time.

--Brian

Wish me luck.

Proposition Politics

2010-07-23T10:06:00.000-07:00

On Aug. 3, voters in Missouri will decide whether or not to support The Health Care Freedom Act, also known as Proposition C. The ballot measure is largely symbolic, drafted by conservative legislators to "send a message" to Washington. That message, and I'm paraphrasing here, is 'we don't like your stinkin' health care reform.'

The measure would change Missouri statutes to block penalties associated with the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA). The proposition, it's worth noting, is thought to be symbolic because the courts generally rule that federal law trumps state law.

However, as this article points out, many Tea Partiers and Repeal Obamacare-ists from around the country will likely be energized if Prop C passes by a large margin in Missouri.

As many know by now, the aforementioned PPACA will eventually penalize citizens for not purchasing health insurance.

In the April 7 edition of the Community Free Press, I put together a "Health care timeline" that details when different parts of the law are scheduled to go into effect. The penalties, if you are curious, are as follows:
In 2014, those without health insurance will be subject to a fine of $95; in 2015, that fine becomes $325; and in 2016, citizens will face a penalty of $695 or up to 2.5 percent of their income. Mandatory employer-provided coverage for companies with 50 employees or more begins in 2014. Such companies can opt to pay a fine instead, which would vary based on the number of employees it has.

Of course, those persons already with insurance and companies that provide coverage before the deadlines will not face a penalty.

It is also important to point out a couple of facts about the PPACA.

One, Medicaid eligibility will increase under the reforms. Those with incomes up to 133 percent of the federal poverty level (FPL) will be eligible for Medicaid in 2014, and for the first time, that includes adults without children.

Two, beginning in 2014, those who earn between 133 and 400 percent of the FPL will be eligible for tax credits based on a sliding scale. That means if you earn up to 4 times the federal poverty level you will be eligible for help to pay for insurance.

Three, in that same year, insurers will no longer be able to refuse to sell or
renew policies because of an individual’s health status. Also, health plans will be prohibited from imposing annual limits on coverage.

Four, the PPACA is expected to reduce the federal budget deficit by 2020, according to the Congressional Budget Office. This CBS article lists some other features of the reforms, as well as how the government will pay for the plan. Taxes on tanning are part of it.

If you are hoping to vote for state rights on Aug. 3 and "send a message" to Washington, you may want to remember that states themselves have already shown they can penalize citizens for not purchasing insurance. Have you ever had to prove that you had car insurance to renew your tags? To be fair, I guess no one is fined for not purchasing a car.

According to the official ballot language, Prop C is estimated to have no immediate cost or savings to state or local government entities. However, "because of the uncertain interaction of the proposal with implementation of the federal Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, future costs to state governmental entities are unknown."

The impact of a Prop C victory is, similarly, up in the air.

Just thought you should know.

One decade ago

2010-07-02T11:00:00.000-07:00

Andrew is a good, good boy. Yes he is.

When Andrew was a baby we would sing to him the "Good, good boy" song, which his mother must have penned in a peaceful moment between contractions. We sang that song right from the beginning. It always fit.

He got really sick once as a toddler. He had RSV, which is a common virus that can lead to cold-like symptoms in adults. But for babies, it can be serious. And for Andrew, it was.

While his temperature danced around 104, a nice nurse at Cox North recommended we request a transfer; she worried he wouldn't get the attention he'd need away from the specialists at Cox South. I rode with him on my lap in the ambulance. I don't ever remember feeling more vulnerable. I believe he spent five days in the hospital altogether. By chance or by force of will, he made it through.

And ever since, he's been on the move.

These days, Andrew seems to love all foods, all sports, and all music. He appears to be especially talented at swimming, riding his rip-stick, and singing. When we sing songs in the car, Andy is the one who is on key.

Andrew is known for always wearing his heart on his sleeve. He yells the loudest when he's hurt, but he also laughs the hardest. When I took him to the arcade today, he gave his little brother all of the toys he won.

He's a surprisingly bright kid, too. As a 4-year-old, his questions were always the toughest to answer.

Today, Andrew turns 10. I have to say it has been really fun watching him grow into such a smart, caring and active young man.

After he was born, he was released from the hospital on the 4th of July. In his first night at home, he fell asleep in his bed to the distant sound of fireworks. And, fittingly, the sound of a mother's new song.

We love ya, buddy. Happy Birthday!

Local, organic and now

2010-06-28T04:25:00.000-07:00

Editor's note: The following story is one that I had hoped to get published locally. While several groups seemed interested in it, ultimately, no one purchased it. So, I'm running it here. Enjoy.

By Brian Brown
(Springfield, Mo.) The organic trend has found a home in the Ozarks, and if Pauly Allen has anything to say about it, it is here to stay.

Allen is the co-owner of Total Organix, a Springfield-based organic food distributor. He runs the business with the help of Shimon Lynch, who owns Stepping Stone Farms Produce and is a longtime devotee of the organic lifestyle. Lynch coordinates produce purchases from a diverse network of local and national organic food producers. Allen, an executive chef and former owner of The Barefoot Chef in Ozark, works directly with customers. Together, their company supplies organic produce to restaurants and grocery stores in the region and individual homes in Springfield, Ozark and Nixa.

Allen says he hopes the company can encourage people to incorporate more natural foods into their everyday diets.

“I lost 70 pounds by simply changing my lifestyle and eating more naturally,” Allen said.

He says he eats a roughly 80/20 mix of organic and non-organic foods, and the changes he’s seen in himself have made him passionate about spreading the news to others. That includes members of his family.

Healthy choices

Allen said his niece was facing lymph node surgery at the age of 4, and he believes her body was having problems processing the chemically altered foods she was eating. Since she has began eating organic foods, he says she’s back to being a healthy kid.

“I didn’t want her to be living that life,” he said. “And she is doing great now.”

And apparently, she is not the only one benefitting from an organic diet. He said many of the individuals in the Springfield area who have been ordering his produce online at www.totalorganix.com have told him they are turning to organic foods for health reasons.

“We have the most amazing customers,” he said. “We know that what we are doing is bigger than ourselves.”

He said several of his customers have said they are battling cancer. One, in particular, told Allen that a doctor said he had nine months to live. That was two years ago.

Allen was quick to say that he believed in traditional medicine and the work that doctors do, but that he felt diet plays an important role in maximizing any one individual’s health. Fresh, organically grown papaya, for example, gives the body the enzymes it needs to properly digest meats, Allen said.

One of Total Organix’s customers is Bill Griffiths, owner of Farmer’s Gastropub in downtown Springfield. Griffiths said he has purchased produce through the company for both himself and his business. Farmers Gastropub is a restaurant that specializes in serving locally grown organic foods.

Since Farmers opened seven months ago, Griffiths said he has lost 40 lbs.
“I tell patrons that it is dangerous to eat here because then their bodies will know what real food is,” Griffiths said.

Griffiths, like Allen, said that locally grown organic produce is the best because its fresh and it hasn’t been sprayed with pesticides or chemically altered to look big and fresh.

“Organic produce may not be as super huge as something you may see at the store, but if you come into my kitchen and pick up a tomato, you can smell it. It still has that tomato smell,” Griffiths said.

He said the glaze on many store-bought tomatoes covers their smell and changes their taste.

“[By eating organic foods] you are not putting poison into your body, and your body will start to recognize real food again,” Griffiths said.

The company

Allen said his company has been up and running since February. Its website, www.totalorganix.com, offers three basic packages for individual customers:
• Little Lauren, $28
• Da N Between, $38
• Fat Cat, $54.

Each offers a mix of organically grown fruits and veggies, with larger quantities and variety coming in the more expensive packages.

He said he delivers the packages to customers personally, and his busiest week saw 31 orders. He said 40 orders means the company breaks even with marketing expenses, 60 means things are cruising along, and at 120, Allen and Lynch can begin to invest more money into their company.

“And 200 orders would be optimus prime,” Allen said.

He said Farmer’s is the company’s only restaurant customer, but he does have other business partners including three grocery stores in Northwest Arkansas.

He says a goal of the company to keep prices comparable to non-organic produce, which is often less expensive.

“Our passion is to touch everyone and offer organic produce at a fair price.”

One way it does that is by renting its warehouse space. By not buying or building its own warehouse, Allen said the company’s start-up cost were relatively low.

Laura Killingsworth, Springfield, said she saw an ad in the paper and decided to place an order.

“I thought it would be fun to have fruit and vegetables delivered to my house,” Killingsworth said in an e-mail. “We got the Little Lauren, just to try it out and we've been eating it all week. I thought the quality was really good, and the oranges were exceptional.”

The big picture

According to Allen, there is currently a need for more local organic farmers. He said this winter he had to purchase much of his produce from reliable sources he knows in California.

He said he recently helped a local Amish farmer build three-hoop houses, so that the farmer could grow food in the winter.

“I hope there are more farmers that switch to organic produce so that I never have to buy from outside Missouri,” he said.

According to the Organic Trade Association, U.S. sales of organic foods and beverages have gone from $1 billion in sales in 1990 to an estimated $20 billion in 2007. And sales of organic products are expected to continue to grow.

Allen said the national trend is just beginning to get its footing locally. He said until recently, there just hasn’t been enough demand for local organic products.

He said he hopes to see more local grocery stores offer local produce sections, and more local restaurants offering locally grown menu items. He has even coined a name for a possible local eatery program: Fresh Fridays. Allen said he read about a restaurant in Joplin that shops at its area farmer’s market and devotes a portion of its menu to foods produced from local farmers. Allen said he thinks a similar effort in Springfield would be popular.

Besides being a healthy option, Griffiths said buying locally grown foods is good for the economy. He said Missouri used to export more food than it imported, and now the imbalance is skewed the wrong way.

“There’s no reason we can’t redress that imbalance and take time to invest in local agriculture.”

Allen says he thinks what he and others are doing to promote locally grown organic foods is catching on.

“I think what we are doing is coming; I think what we’re doing is not so weird anymore.”

For more information about Total Organix or to place an order, call 417-233-1232 or e-mail totalorganix@gmail.com.

Box
Head: Company Profile
Name: Total Organix
Owners: Pauly Allen and Shimon Lynch
Background: Allen was an executive chef that worked on yachts before moving to the area and opening The Barefoot Chef in Ozark. Until recently, Lynch worked as an organic farmer for Stepping Stone farms for several years while living in a Christian-based commune in Weaubleau, Mo.
In business since: February 2010
Who they serve: Individuals, restaurants and grocery stores in the Ozarks that are interested in having organic food delivered to their homes or businesses.
Phone: 417-233-1232
Website: www.totalorganix.com

Calendars

2010-06-13T02:46:00.000-07:00

We are 75 calendars.
We are disease and injury.
We are cause and effect.
We are cartilage and skin.
We are memories of what we were.
Dolphin tattoos, bushy eyebrows,
microwave meals, slow kisses.
We are March, April and June.
We are Wednesday morning and
Friday evening.
We are 34 and 23 calendars.
We are sister and father
and teacher, lunch lady,
custodian.
We are 68 and 52 calendars.
99, 4, 41, 65.
We are Christmas, and
Thanksgiving and
2:30 p.m. Central Standard.
We are now, and only ever now.
We are thought, and still,
much less than we imagine.

Fish tales

2010-06-02T09:06:00.000-07:00

I have a fish tale to tell, and I'm not lying. Barump, bump.

I have an article in the current issue of the Community Free Press on Glen Andrews, a bass fisherman that several of the sport's most prominent personalities say is the best there ever was.

The story turned out well, and I was glad to see it wasn't messed with in editing. Andrews, and his son, who co-authored the book about Glen's fishing life, were great to meet. I think their story is really interesting even if your not hooked on the fishing. Barump, bump.

Anyway, check it out or read this ESPN article to learn more.

Ragged Old Flag

2010-05-31T05:09:00.000-07:00

For the veterans on Memorial Day.

Johnny Cash and "Ragged Old Flag."

Spring of hope, winter of despair

2010-05-20T10:23:00.000-07:00

Dickens said "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times," and for all I know he could've been talking about my life over the last few weeks.

For me, leaving the Community Free Press has been a humbling, and yet blessed experience. We've been so broke and I have been pretty stressed, but walking through it I have been able to see and feel a tremendous amount of support from my family and friends that I wouldn't have known was there otherwise.

Today, in particular, has been pretty good.

I finally saw my SN-L byline. The autism fundraising story I penned, or as I like to say, wroteded, is now up on the News-Leader website. I was told it would first run in the Christian County edition of the paper, and then I would see it in the daily N-L after May 19. I haven't pulled it from the stands yet, so I am still looking forward to that. As a writer and someone that has lived in Springfield most of my life, I have to say it is feels pretty rewarding to see my story hitting the pages of the paper I've read since I was 9.

But also, I'm very proud of a couple of things in CFP's most recent issue. Dale Isackson, a.k.a. The Jeweler, wrote what amounts to my first fan letter. It's on Page 6. I had interviewed Isackson for the "15 minutes with" feature in the previous issue.

Then on Page 8, there's the Garden Cafe story, which features another local family that is living with autism. And on Page 10 is one of my favorite stories ever. In it, I interviewed Howard Hufford, a Korean War veteran, and he talked about the work he and his wife have done to teach others flag etiquette and history.

So things are turning up roses, I guess. I thought I was ushering in a new age of foolishness, but perhaps it's a glorious new age of wisdom. Sorry Dickens, but it's feast or famine around here. Before you know it I'll be blubbering in my ice cream about my "great new job" selling cars. When does the age of manageable malaise begin?

Happy Mother's Day

2010-05-09T03:22:00.000-07:00

Hizzle Mizzles Dizzle! That's urban for, well, you know.

It's Mother's Day. The day our culture has set aside to honor the mothers in our lives. It seems almost silly to single out just one day for moms, but actually, I think it's a good idea.

Why?

In order to write this I had to stop what I would otherwise be doing, which in my case was going to bed, and think about my relationship with my mom. My mom is a funny lady; not odd, but witty. She is emotional and empathetic. Independent, but family-oriented. Ever since I told her I was looking for a job she has e-mailed me tips for writers and freelancers that she's found online. Her greatest quality may be that she always lives her life in the moment-- this makes her pretty fun to be around. When she's in town, I never know what we are going to do. She is prone to long drives and comfort foods.

As I thought about her, I began to think about my wife's relationship with our kids, my step-mom, my mother-in-law and a few of the other mothers I know. Turns out, I know a lot of moms.

Then I thought about my dad's mom. Her name was Janie. And my mom's mom. Her name was Ginny. They're both gone now.

I saw Grandma Ginny before she died. She was an amazing artist. I can imagine her humming while playing cards or rocking in a rocking chair. The last time I saw my Grandma Janie she was down from Kansas City for my high school graduation. When I would visit her she would always make me french toast, which was my favorite.

Today, a lot of us will rush to the store to buy a last-minute gift. We'll fight with traffic and pick over the pre-packaged candies and flowers at the discount store before we tap our feet impatiently while we wait in line.

Don't. Instead take a moment to think about why that stuff has any meaning.

My mom's name is Katy Baker. Today, I want to thank her for e-mails. I appreciate the tips, mom. I hope all is well in Iowa.

Leaving the nest

2010-05-03T13:58:00.000-07:00

Today I cleaned out my desk at CFP. I've been leaving for around a month now, and it hasn't been easy; I've been trying to shepherd good stories and tie loose ends along the way. But now, it's official: I need a job.

I'm working at my old haunt, LaMar's Donuts, and seeking to dominate the freelance landscape. I've done a terrible job thus far, and am really hoping my luck turns around soon. My goal is to land a 40-hour per week job that earns around $30K. It needs to be something that utilizes my unusual skill set, and makes me feel like I'm making a difference in whatever community it serves. I want to find it this year. I may be dreaming. In the meantime, I'm looking for a part-time day job to compliment the donut gig.

If you know of anything, feel free to help a brother. My wings are stiff and flappy.

Springfield's Best

2010-04-27T11:58:00.000-07:00

At some point here, someone has to step up and hire the best reporter in Springfield. I'm sick of being the best donut finisher.

Doubting the reporter claim? Allow me to make my case.

Exhibit A: Hammons hotel project. I've done several stories on the Embassy Suites hotel slated for the 1.7 acre piece of land next to the Expo Center. The first of which was part of a larger failed projects story which appeared in CFP's June 17-30, 2009 issue. Hammons wouldn't talk with me, but Mary Lilly Smith did. And when I did the follow up in December, Hammons did speak. Nobody did a story until after his second missed deadline and then there wasn't any background provided. Hammons holds all the cards on this thing; He manages the Expo, and Smith said herself that was a big advantage when he was competing with other developers for the bid. The question nobody is asking: What incentive does Hammons have to compete with University Plaza? At least one developer said Hammons will never build a hotel on the site. Where's the local media on this?

Exhibit B: Becky Spence. The former owner of the Arbor Hotel may be an unsympathetic figure to many that remember her run-down downtown temp apartments, but Spence does have rights. When City Utilities wanted to take her property to build a new, and many feel unnecessary, bus terminal on her St. Louis St. lot, it seemed no one wanted to cover the story. I did. Read the first installment here. And then again when she proposed her new hotel, here. Her public announcement of plans led to concerns from City Council and CU dropping the eminent domain push. To my knowledge, I am the only one to also do a follow-up on her project, here.

For those still reading, I've also done a sweet NIMBY, a sweet voter's guide, and the best teaser ever: "Rowe, Rowe, Rowe, then Moats."

So, where's the trophy? I've got my speech ready. I'm planning on taking a page from Terrill Owens, "I'd like to thank my hands for being so awesome."

Why all the machismo? I need a jobby job. Get it together people. I'm laying it down over here.

Last word on health care

2010-04-12T12:09:00.000-07:00

In the current issue of the Community Free Press, I examined the ups and downs, and the ins and outs of The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.

It was a monster. But it was a good experience.

Over the last year, I've posted several pieces about possible reform measures on my blog, and my latest story at CFP was my third on the subject. But until recently, no one could say with certainty what the legislation would look like as law. Now we can.

I've read more stories about health care lately than I care to remember. A lot of it was useless crapola full of misinformation. Hopefully, the article does a good job of summarizing the most important facts. I also hope -- as my former professor Dr. Cline would so often say -- it meets the primary purpose of journalism: to give readers the information they need to be free and self-governing.

One website that was a great help to me was www.kff.org. The Kaiser Family Foundation is a non-partisan, non-profit group that looks at health care legislation. On its web site, there is a complete timeline that details when provisions of the reforms are scheduled to be implemented. I encourage anyone who wants to learn more to read the CFP article or check out KFF.

Weary travelers

2010-04-10T16:20:00.000-07:00

Welcome unbelievers. Enter beds.
Familiar pillows, shaded room.
Let your eyes close over muted
advertisement. Ticking clock.
The weight of the road hangs
on your suntanned shoulders.
Set the money down.
Release the memories of chances lost.
A time for us? For stories?
A walking toddler ignored.
A crying toddler ignored.
Weighted shoulders.
A blurred fan buzzes around
itself, tricking my eyes,
tugging a memory from childhood.
A young plea to the Mighty Christ:
never forget I believe today.
I joined you years ago.
We walk and sing no songs.
Stop. Grab the baby.
Feel the breeze. Rest.

Leaving on a Jet Plane or Free Fallin'

2010-04-09T06:03:00.000-07:00

If you are one of my Facebook friends, you may already know that I've decided to leave the Community Free Press. Including my internship, I've been there 2 1/2 years.

I have nothing negative to say about my experience.

I'm very proud of much of the work I've done in that time, and I will continue to be grateful to the Langsfords for giving me a chance to write for money. I've also developed some friendships there that couldn't have happened anywhere else, so I will take what I can from this -- but, it is time to move on.

I've told everyone, including myself, that I am going to become a freelance writer. However, I'm not sure how realistic I'm being. The journalism market is scary. One of my fellow staffers, Fines Massey, who himself is leaving to take a Census job, was told one paper he recently applied for in St. James had 87 applicants for its one open position.

I've picked up around 30 hours at my old haunt LaMar's Donuts, and I'm just hoping that some opportunities pop up. This may be the riskiest thing I've ever done. All I can really say is that the political season is starting, and it just felt like the right time to leave.

The April 21 issue will be my last issue. I am grateful for all of the people in our community that took the time to answer questions from me over the last couple of years. I sincerely hope that I treated you fairly.

Well, before this sounds entirely cheesy and sappy, I'll sign off. I'm stepping out the door and heading into my last day. After today, I'm just a donut man. Dear lord, somebody hire me!

Citation Nation or A Tangled Web We Weave

2010-04-07T07:21:00.000-07:00

The funny thing about hyperlinks is they can bring a whole new dimension to one's meaning, as well as one's understanding.

If you took the time to follow the hyperlinks in the previous paragraph you found: 1. When you clicked on "hyperlinks" you were magically transported to a website that featured a Buddhist temple made out of beer bottles. And 2. When you clicked on "one's understanding" you traveled to a website that featured an article that examined the relationship between Glenn Beck, his big, fat mouth, and social justice.

If you've followed the hyperlink in the second paragraph you likely think: 1. Brian's made a mistake. Or 2. What?! If you only followed the first hyperlink, and not the other two, you may think this is a normal blog post.

For those who didn't follow any hyperlink, let me explain. 1. The first hyperlink did in fact magically transport you to a site that featured a Buddhist temple made out of beer bottles. Heineken, actually. And 2. I deceived you. The second hyperlink sent you to a site that claimed all who visited the site are now atheists. Which is just funny.

In fact, the third link in the second paragraph examined the relationship between Glenn Beck, his big, fat mouth, and social justice.

The point is the words I highlight for links aren't necessarily connected to the sites in which the reader magically transports. However, if one was the impressionable type, and one "took the time" to follow the "hyperlinks," it may have contributed to "one's understanding." If you are stoic and hard to impress, well, that's cool I guess.

March Badness or Final Zero

2010-03-28T17:12:00.000-07:00

So much for my bracket. Go Butler! So when does football start?

Health care fun

2010-03-22T16:41:00.000-07:00

During the next week I am going to be learning everything I can about the health care reform that was just passed in the House. I've read several articles to this point, and this one from the WSJ, and the Q&A from The New York Times have been the most informative.

I encourage anyone who has questions or concerns about the legislation to contact me by e-mail at bbrownspfd@yahoo.com. I will try to answer as many questions as I can.

Trusting strangers

2010-03-01T05:09:00.000-08:00

Today I went back to work after a week of vacationing in Florida. While visiting Mickey and the gang, it occurred to me that I had to place a whole lot of faith in people I have never met. Like those who design air planes and roller coasters, most specifically. But also taxi and bus drivers, food preparers, and housekeepers to name a few.

I wondered how many others visit Disney World? It seems the numbers vary widely depending on the source -- I found everything from 20 million to 41 million annual visitors. According to the Orlando Tourist Information Bureau, 50 million people visit the area every year.

That's a lot of mouse ears.

As the human population approaches 7 billion and with the U.S. now over 300 million, I can't help but marvel at the size of our modern world. The numbers are so large and yet... Something about the cheesy sing-songy kiddies' ride sparked my imagination. It's a world of laughter...

At one point, a member of our group counted hearing 8 languages at one of the WDW theme parks.

As we move into the future, there will be more and more people. That also likely means it will be a less personal world. Disney World, much as it tries, wasn't built for you and me. It was built for us. The rides are for us. The buses were for groups.

I buy my food at Wal-Mart. I get my cell phone service from AT&T.

I had a great time last week and none of it would have been possible without the promise of big numbers. There's something unsettling about that.

So Smoove

2010-02-11T21:17:00.000-08:00

Oh Onion, I love you so. Check out this story about my buddy Smoove. I can really relate.

Et tu K2?

2010-02-10T05:13:00.000-08:00

After I interviewed Colby Compton for my K2 story in this issue of CFP, he asked me if I thought the product-- a mix of herbs blended with a synthetic cousin of THC, the active ingredient in marijuana-- should be made illegal. I told him I didn't have an opinion. And that was true.

Now that the story is out, I've thought a lot about that question. For years I've thought marijuana should be made legal. In short, I think the prohibition of marijuana hasn't done anything to deter its use, and it's common knowledge that the stuff smokers toke today is more potent than their parents weed. Has anyone seen the potency of cigarettes increase since the 60s? I won't argue that its safe, but I would argue that it should be legalized and regulated.

Well, K2 aint weed, but it may soon be treated like the dope. Legislators are pushing an initiative that would make it a controlled substance. In the meantime, as the story points out, those taking certain drugs and smoking K2 may want to be careful.

When I spoke to Terry Barks, St. John's clinical information specialist, he said the prohibition of K2 was a significant social issue. And I think that's true.

Over the last several months, we've seen a large number of people stand up against a nationalized health care system-- effectively stopping reform measures in Congress with an unexpected Senate victory in Massachusetts. I personally would have liked to see some form of regulation pass because I think costs are out of control. However, I will say the most powerful argument I've heard against reform came from a friend. It was what I would call the Constitutional argument. It went like this:

If I have religious freedom including freedom from religion in America, why can't I have freedom from health care?

The plan in Congress would have required all Americans choose a plan. And I didn't have a comeback for my friend. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is good enough for me. If people want to smoke incense, I'm not going to stand in their way. But I want them to know what their smoking.

Happy Birthday, Boobie

2010-01-30T10:17:00.000-08:00

I first saw Will when his mother showed me a picture of a little tan-skinned boy with curly hair sitting on Santa Claus' lap. She told me the boy was her son. I said "congratulations!" because I didn't know what to say.

Within a couple of months I was dating the boy's mother. That was January '95. Boobie, her affectionate name for him then (and sometime's now when the moment feels right), would turn 3-years-old that month. Today he turns 18.

I've always thought I was lucky to get in good with him at such a young age. Had I met him at 7 or 8 or 9, it's possible he would have never liked me. His mom said once that he was basically an adult at age 10. And I think that's true.

Around that time he watched Pokemon a lot-- a show about a boy roughly the same age who traveled independently with his Pokebal. Ash went from tournament to tournament with his ball and his pets fighting more experienced trainers. I can see now how he felt connected to that show.

At 18, Will is smarter than his stronger friends and stronger than his smarter friends. If he even has smarter friends. He's confident, but quiet around people he doesn't know. He sings songs loud and off-key when he chooses to sing. But he hasn't been uncool for years. He never smiles in pictures.

Before his Grandpa Bud died, when Will was 12 or 13 or so, we had gone over for dinner. I think this was near the time that became a weekly event. Bud had a camcorder, and as soon as Will walked in the door Bud asked Will to stand still because he wanted to take his picture.

Will stopped right in front of the camera, and simply looked in. He didn't pose, as most would do. He didn't avert his eyes or talk to others-- he just stood there and let his Great-Grandpa videotape him. Bud had pulled his eye away from the view-finder for a moment to look at him, perhaps a little taken aback by his great-grandson's lack of shyness, his lack of goofiness. Then he took took the camera back, and the two stared honestly at each other for a minute before turning his attention to others.

Today is Will's birthday, and he is over at a friend's house. In the fall he is moving to Columbia to start college. He's played varsity football, and he's beaten Kickapoo. His G.P.A. is good. His A.C.T. score was more than enough.

We're here if you need us, Will. We're not going anywhere.

Remember MLK

2010-01-18T16:33:00.000-08:00

Today I was lucky enough to tune in to Imus in the Morning and hear Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech. That Imus. Yes.

If you have never actually heard the speech in full, you really should take a couple of minutes to hear the actual audio clip.

I found it on a Web site devoted to American Rhetoric. The site ranked MLK's speech No. 1 out of the 100 top speeches, many of which it has clips for. Check it out.

Left and right

2010-01-10T21:03:00.000-08:00

I found this infographic when stumbling on Stumble Upon, and I have to admit I'm fascinated with it.

It compares generalizations about conservatives and liberals in a seemingly consistent, if not totally objective, ways. A lot of it appeared to be based on objective data, but I didn't see the sources.

For example, the conservative parent tends to be more strict, more religious, and produces a more disciplined child, a more self-reliant adult.

The liberal parent tends to be more nurturing, more empathetic, and produces a more reflective child, a more fulfilled adult.

Liberals favor equality. Conservatives prefer freedom. Liberals tend to be urban; conservatives are more rural. Individuals on the left might be attracted to careers like science, teaching, media (I thought that was interesting). Those on the right might prefer to become a police officer, in the military, or in sales.

I can't decide how much I agree with it, but I like it because I think authors were being honest and non-judgmental. So often, any examination of the left or right thinking comes with such obvious bias that you can only agree with the view if you fall on the side being promoted.

The graphic comes from a fabulous Web site that appears to have roots in England (it has an English version), and so I think perhaps the authors' distance from the American political system offers some good insight. In fact, it has a lot of cool charts on all sorts of interesting topics. But, I am getting side-tracked.

Lately, I've been feeling that politics has become so divided that it seems almost impossible to have an honest discussion with anyone about any important civic topic without worrying I'd be saddled with one label or another. Both have negative connotations by the way.

Be honest, If I told you I was a conservative, would you roll your eyes? If I told you I was liberal, would you be disappointed?

According to a recent Gallup poll, in 2009 49.0 percent of Americans saw themselves as Democrats or leaned Democratic. Gallup found that 40.7 percent of Americans identified themselves as Republicans or leaned Republican. The Dem number is down from 2008, and the Reps number is up. In 2003 the two parties were separated by one tenth of one percent.

I didn't see any numbers for bleading-heart commie v. bible-thumping nutjobs. I'd like to think they have about 5 percent each. At most.

End of year issue

2009-12-29T15:01:00.000-08:00

The latest and last 2009 issue of the Community Free Press is now online and hitting stands throughout the area.

"Aren't you that paper at the Y?" Yes, we are. But, we are actually all over the place. Here is the list of places where you can pick us up (I don't think this is totally current, but it'll give you a good idea). It also may help to remember that we're at all the Walgreens in Springfield.

I think this issue turned out to be pretty solid. Fines landed the Andy's feature and I was able to talk to John Q. Hammons about his proposed hotel. This one was also fun because we got to do a two-page year-in-review. Yes, we are patting ourselves on the back a little, but I think its kinda cool nonetheless. It was definitely a reminder to me how very dependent we are on the people who take a few minutes out of their day to talk to us. Anyhoo, check it out.

Two sides of Christmas

2009-12-26T06:06:00.000-08:00

My mother and father divorced each other when I was 8-years-old. Well, it was official two days before my 8th birthday, but just because I remember the date doesn't mean it was traumatic for me. Dad brought me a new bike the day he brought the papers to mom.

From 8 on, I always felt lucky to have two birthdays and two Christmases. Like I was getting away with something kids with one home didn't know about.

At 34, I'm pleased to say I have stayed close to both my parents. But, I suspect, whether one has parents still together or not, the things that mom's and dad's offer up as special holiday gifts are quite different.

Case in point: the following e-mail and video came from my mom and dad. Each in their own way, were trying to make my holidays more special. Both worked. Mom, wrote an emotional story about her Aunt Vonny that she sent to me and other relatives. The story truly stands on its own, apart from the Mom and Dad frame I've set for it here.

Mom's story

Just a quick note to tell all of you a little story about Aunt Vonny. Many times in my life, I have been so fortunate to have a friend or a relative do something so nice for me that the memory of what they did carried on for me and I still remember all of those special people. Aunt Vonny was one of them. I remember one time when I first moved to Springfield, Brian was 9 and Justin was 4. I was really broke and a little down about just life in general. I had talked to Vonny on the phone on occasion and she would sometimes send me a little note or a silly card. One time, just out of the blue, she called and said she had been praying and believed the Lord wanted her to do something for me. So for a few months, she sent me her tithing..her 10% that she normally gave to her church, she sent to me. I remember crying when I got her check and told her she didn't need to do that, but she wouldn't take no for an answer. When the time came, she called and said she felt it needed to go back to the church. I have never forgotten that act of kindness. I hadn't asked her for anything, but she felt she wanted to do something for me. When she died, I really wanted to go to her funeral, but the car I had at the time was really not in good shape and I was afraid to take it on the drive to Cape. I had told most of the family that I didn't think I could make it..I had visited Vonny in the hospital 2 weeks before and I rode out to Cape, I can't even remember who with? Maybe Ted? or Kenny? I don't know. So I told myself that since I just saw her, I didn't need to go to the funeral. The day before her funeral, a girl I worked with at the cable company came up to me and said she heard I wanted to go to my aunt's funeral but was concerned about my car. Her name is Darenda. I have lost touch with her. But on that day, she opened my hand and put her car keys in my hand and told me to take her car to the funeral and she would find a way to work while I was gone. She wouldn't take no for an answer. I remember at Vonny's funeral not wanting to go up to see Vonny in the casket and Aunt Bert grabbed my hand and said, "It will be ok." So I did and I think Vonny was once again helping me...someone else helped me so I could go to her funeral but I somehow think Vonny had her hand in it.....
So Merry Christmas to all of you and try to remember something special about someone this Christmas and then do something nice for someone else..even if they don't expect it!

Dad's video

Context

2009-12-23T21:28:00.000-08:00

I had a journalism teacher who talked a lot about context. How it was important, why it was important. This article in the NYTimes does a great job of putting things in context. America is divided today in a way that is troubling to me. Something to think about as we head into Christmas.

Ozarks Christmas Village

2009-12-09T14:58:00.000-08:00

Today is the first day of the Ozarks Christmas Village. The event features more than 50 booths with a variety of Christmas foods, holiday gifts, ornaments and other arts and crafts. It is being held at the Ozark Empire Fairgrounds from 5-9 p.m. today, tomorrow and Friday.

The event is the brain-child of Jeff Germann. But don't call that. Especially in his suit. He prefers to go by "Papa Santa."

I interviewed him last week for a "15 minutes with" piece at CFP's office. He truly was the best Santa Claus I've ever seen. His wardrobe was entirely handmade, complete with an overcoat that featured a nativity scene on the inside.

He was kind, and humble and, well, perfect. He said he wanted to start the Ozarks Christmas Village as a way to bring the community together. A way to celebrate the season as a real community apart from the corporate hullabaloo at the mall. Okay, some of that is me talking.

Anyway, he was a really cool guy and if you are wanting to do something Christmas-y with the kiddos during the next couple of days you should really check it out. It is free, but please bring a non-perishable food item or give a cash donation.

Get R done?

2009-11-29T08:18:00.000-08:00

The long and windy road to health care reform takes many twists and turns. Here is where we are at right now.

If legislation doesn't get 60 votes in the Senate, it's likely dead. To make it pass, Dems are trying to make reform measures palatable to those on the fence. That means the bill is expected to morph and change.

Many Dems want a public option and see it as the only way to force health care prices down. But, if a public option survives, it's likely states will be able to opt of it. Or there will be a trigger. Meaning if rates don't drop by so much in a specified time frame, the public option kicks in.

For me, I want to see lower costs for real people. Period. If we get that from public option, then I am all for it. If it can only come from tort reform, okay. The bottom line is Republicans and Democrats need to work together to make this crap cheaper.

Have you been to the hospital lately? Me, neither. Last time it costs a couple thousand dollars. And I have insurance.

Chase is 14

2009-11-21T07:47:00.000-08:00

My first-born turns 14-years-old today. His official name is Chase Alexander Brown, but he's gone by a variety of names over the years. Chasey. Chaser. Chasey-poo. Chaser-baser-big-boy. And Stinky.

When he was a baby, he was the laziest baby in the world. He loved just rocking in his car seat, and though we took him out quite a bit, he didn't seem to care too much. He was content wherever he was. He didn't walk until he was 18 months old. But, it worked out perfect for me. He was my introduction to the world of babies, and as it turned out, I couldn't screw up a thing. I was a success as a dad as long as I was around to make faces at him.

At 14, Chase is like me in almost every measurable way. Well, except for the Wilkinson blonde hair. He's smart, but not so smart that he's overly burdened. Lucky for me he got the ridiculously corny Brown sense of humor. I can joke with him about anything and he just gets it. When I start singing "All the Single Ladies" out of the blue, Chase is always there to join in.

He loves sports, and just like me at his age, he is always ready for a pick-up game of basketball or a quick football toss in the yard. He's not the fastest or strongest at anything, but he's competitive. Just like dad.

Chase is great because he rolls with the punches. He can get really upset of course, but he never holds onto it. That's a rare thing, you know.

He is funny. He's nice. He's laid back. He's a goofball.

In a mixed up confusing world, we understand each other. And I'm he's biggest fan. But, don't let him know.

Today, I'm going to take him to the court and play him one-on-one. I'm going to beat him down, and hopefully, make him cry a little. Then, I might sing him a song about how much it sucks to be a loser. He'll laugh.

Happy Birthday, Chasey.

Jackie's tough

2009-11-20T11:08:00.000-08:00

According to updates from her husband and friends, it seems local blogger and former CFP politico Jackie Melton is making a recovery from a rather serious staph infection. Her husband, Larry Melton, said she had antibiotic staph pneumonia. She has been in the hospital for at least a couple of weeks now. Her last post was in mid-October.

Jackie became a friend of mine when I was still an intern at CFP. Her blog, Jackehammer, is widely followed and respected. She has covered City Council forever it seems, and usually not for money. She seems to know everyone involved in local politics, and she is probably the best researcher I have ever met. She has always been very helpful and kind to me and I am very glad to hear she is getting better.

Perception

2009-11-13T20:45:00.000-08:00

I found this story about perception on Stumbleupon. This is the kind of dorky stuff I find interesting.

School bond bummer

2009-11-02T05:22:00.000-08:00

I must now apologize to my younger self.

As one who attended Springfield Public Schools, I remember days staring at the chalk board and sweating in my chair. At certain times near the beginning and end of the school year, it was inescapable. The heat. On the hottest days, they'd let us bring our own water bottles.

Occasionally at Parkview, a wasp would fly in one of the seemingly thousands of open windows and terrorize the class while a distracted teacher would tell us to 'just ignore it.' We couldn't, of course.

I am sure I was not the only student who found it offensive that the only part of the school that was air-conditioned was the administrative offices. Rumors were that it was also air-conditioned in the teachers' lounge, but I never went in there.

I'm apologizing now because today I did something I never thought I'd do. I voted against air conditioning some Springfield Public Schools.

Here's the thing -- and I only learned this after reading Ralph Plank's letter to the editor -- two of the schools they want to air-condition, Reed and my alma mater Jarrett, are schools they want to tear down and build again. A look at current bond projects and future proposed projects reveals a disturbing pair of competing priorities.

While I am not as convinced as he seems to be that a new middle school at Westport is a bad thing, I don't quite understand why the school district is pressing forward with plans despite the objections of parents in that area. They say they'll save money consolidating the alternatives' programs, but I'm not sure why that's needed either. Obviously, the facilities are already in place.

Plus I'm bummed out that the district feels its necessary to move its administrative offices to a place its going to have to remodel anyway. Neither Gerry Lee nor Norm Ridder laid out strong arguments for the move when I interviewed them for my ballot story. And neither would say that's a permanent move.

I'm not someone who is against stimulus funds. In fact, I like that they were trying to take advantage of the available dollars. Dollars that won't be there if the bond measure fails. But I don't understand why the district is looking to air-condition schools that they want to tear down soon. And as Bob Mace points out (page 6 on the link), I don't like that the district is holding any events in University Plaza when the Doling building or any number of its other buildings is available.

I voted for the 2006 bond issue, but I couldn't bring myself to vote for this one. Perhaps if voters send a message to the district now, it will remember this is real money its playing with. Real money from property working adults buy after they work. Sorry kiddos. Take a water bottle.

Opinion: yes

2009-10-21T05:04:00.000-07:00

For as much as I have said I wanted to be an opinion columnist, I’ve found I am oddly voiceless when I go to my blog to open my mouth on local issues. I want to offer my two cents, but I can’t help but hold back. I don’t want to alienate sources, and I don’t want to seem biased. However,I really don’t want to feed into the dated notion that journalist aren’t biased, either. Of course they are.

In full hillbilly voice I say: I is biased and so are everyone else. Real people run the world, and we can't let ourselves forget that. So, onward I march.

In my view, people don’t hate Fox News because there’s an obvious right-wing slant to much of their news programming (that’s why they love them). They hate Fox News because they’ll tell you what they're offering as news is “fair and balanced.” Just be honest, Fox. Tell people upfront your channel supports a conservative ideology. That's not such a terrible thing. Occasionally, I will hear our CFP ad guy compare us to Fox News when he’s trying to sell. It makes me cringe every time.

To get a sense of my own biases, please read my opening blog post.

I’m getting off point.

When I’m not using this blog as a creative outlet, I’d like to use it to express my own opinions about the stories I’m covering. At least every so often. I suspect that others like me may be hesitant to do this, and that's understandable. I believe other reporters have the same fears of perceived bias I have and so they shy away from taking a stand. In fact, the Society of Professional Journalists recommends reporters stay away from conflicts of interest "real or perceived."

But then newspapers have been writing editorials forever. I think the same code of ethics draws the line between news and opinion correctly: "Analysis and commentary should be labeled and not misrepresent fact or context."

Don’t get me wrong: we need objective reporting. People who are reading or watching news want facts to form their own opinions about important issues. I want others to be objective, too. And when I’m writing news for CFP, that’s what I’m doing. But here aint news. It’s beauty and fear and love and greed and something more honest. And by exposing that side of myself, I’m meeting the mission of this blog: to say something true about the human experience.

But why should my opinion matter, you may ask?

Ultimately, I know how I approach stories. I’m going in trying to learn what people need to know to make up their own minds. And if I wasn’t myself, I’d be interested in what I thought. So, for what it’s worth, I’m offering up my opinion on the story that won’t go away … please, take it more as a polite suggestion rather than the ramblings of a nut case who found a megaphone.

On Nov. 3 pension sales tax

My take: Vote yes, y’all.

Click here to read my story on the upcoming pension sales tax vote in the latest issue of CFP (Page 1 and Page 4).

I believe the cops and firefighters have tough jobs as it is. The city is responsible for their pension, and their pension is failing. You can blame the city if you like, but no one is served with a “no” vote. I agree with the citizens’ pension task force: the best way to fill this gap is with a sales tax. People from surrounding areas spend money in Springfield, thereby lessening the Springfield tax burden. It’s the quickest and easiest fix. Cutting benefits will likely result in a lawsuit. And the state can potentially take away tax revenues if the city doesn’t keep the fund at 60 percent of its actuarial value. It's at 46.5 percent now.

Many have expressed concern about the city’s wasteful spending. And that’s fine. Many have expressed concern about the ballot language not including a clear and obvious sunset-- including Bob Mace on Page 6. Okay. But a “no” vote only ignores the problem, and then the problem will only escalate. You can be mad at the sky for the storm, just don’t forget to fill the sandbags out of spite.

I voted for the 1-cent initiative in February, and I think that would have been a better and quicker way to address the issue. I do think the ballot language in this initiative should have called for a 90 percent funding goal, which would have been in-line with actuarial recommendations. However, that’s not enough of a reason for me to avoid the real issue. Police and firefighters deserve to not worry about their pensions. I’m sorry the stock market tanked on your 401(k), but as for me—and I am broke—I don’t mind pitching in an extra penny when I buy a candy bar. And don’t tell me it’s 75 cents when I buy a pizza because I don’t want to know.

I have the highest regard for Bob Mace, Jackie Melton and Fred Ellison. Each are intelligent and involved citizens whose opinions I hold in high regard. Each have said they're opposed to the tax. Mr. Ellison, if you are reading this, I thought you should know I didn't like the way the mayor spoke to you and others opposed to the sales tax. With all that said, I hope each of you change your minds and vote for this thing. I believe city leaders are trying to make this right, and we can pitch in.

After all, real people are running this city. People who answer calls for help in the middle of night. I hope we don't forget that Nov. 3.

Happy Birthday Mason

2009-10-17T05:38:00.000-07:00

Look buddy, you are on the computer.

My son Mason is turning 7-years-old today. If you don't know Mason, you are really missing out because this kid is a crack-up. While each of my kids has a unique and fascinating combination of traits, the wheel of fortune gene swirl that resulted in Mason seemed to take most of the best ingredients his mother and I had to offer.

He has the devilish smirk of my dad and the trademark Wilkinson blonde hair. He has Valerie's fearless attitude, mixed with a healthy amount of daddy and grandma Kay-Kay's altruism. He is smart, handsome, funny, cool and caring. He has a love for people and traveling that is really contagious-- If you ask him where he'd like to go more than anywhere in the world he'd tell you a hotel with a pool. He's a ham for the camera, full of energy, and can become a loyal friend in 30 seconds or less. And if I haven't said it yet, this kid is funny. He loves knock-knock jokes that go off the script.

When Val and I found out she was pregnant with Mason it was hard for us because we were really broke at the time. Well, we are still broke today but we've got the best family in the world and it could not be what it is without him. I love him more than myself and I only hope I can become the father he thinks I am. He deserves all the best, and I am excited that today is all about him. Happy Birthday, buddy!

A bad word

2009-10-07T14:17:00.000-07:00

In the latest issue of the Community Free Press I wrote a story about the upcoming Springfield R-12 bond initiative. The district wants to raise money for air conditioning and other projects by extending its debt service levy.

The district is also, as Jackie Melton points out, hoping to secure federal stimulus dollars, which will be added to the overall construction funds once the bond measure has passed. As Jackehammer notes in her post, that money is not guaranteed.

My story was one I worked hard on, struggled with, but felt good about. Unfortunately, it is not without error. You see, I found the mistake after being bothered by a word in the ballot language box and re-read the story. In the second paragraph of that box, it reads:

If this question is approved, the District’s debt service
levy is protected to remain unchanged at the current levy
of $0.51 per $100 of assessed valuation.

You can see the second paragraph of the actual ballot language on the sample ballot here. Do you see the mistake? I copied the ballot from a fax the County Clerk's office sent me before the ballot was online.

I wrote "protected to remain unchanged" when the actual language is "projected to remain unchanged." And I never caught it.

I want our readers and SPS to know that I regret this error. It was unintentional. I will make sure we run a correction in the next issue.

It's one word. One letter, actually. But it was wrong, and it does make a difference. I spent a lot of time on that article, and I hate thinking that any part of it could be wrong. I thought you should know.

Million Dollar Hollar

2009-10-06T05:47:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get excited by my own ideas. It happened with my candy cane utensils. Imagine edible forks and spoons. You could do hard chocolate, too. It happened with my menthol nasal spray. And now, it's happened again. What's the latest million-dollar idea, you ask? Personal fiction.

I tried calling invention services after both the menthol nasal spray and candy cane idea, but it turns out that inventing a revolutionary new product that reduces nasal swelling or transforms the way you gently sip holiday cider costs a lot of money.

Personal fiction. What is personal fiction? Well, it's only a potentially whole new genre of literature. For years, authors have been twiddling away their time and talents writing books for readers. Mostly bland ol' diddies. They've had to choose between writing made-up stories with made-up characters or serious and factual narratives based on reality. Fiction or non-fiction. What a bunch of followers.

Now, I declare a new day. Imagine if Joyce had written about being a soldier in the civil war. Or Fitzgerald had written about the excesses of wealth -- his excesses. Personal fiction is a new form of self-expression and exploration. I, Brian Brown, can write about traveling through a black hole as, that's right, Brian Brown. It is revolutionary.

You take one real you, and add imagination. What would you do if you met Jesus? WWYDIYMJ? What if you were a NASCAR driver and you were in a horrible accident? What would happen if you sprouted wings and could fly? Personal fiction.

This morning, with great excitement, I told my wife about my latest million-dollar idea. I just knew she'd get that big knowing smile and she'd tell me to get to work on it and we'd buy a house with a dog that's not crazy and a jacuzzi and a slide that went from the roof to the basement as soon as my book was published and eventually they'd have college courses like Personal Fiction 501 and I could pop in as a guest speaker and they'd all be amazed and I would tell them to leave class early and get busy imagining things and they'd give me high-fives except one nice girl who couldn't resist giving me a kiss on the cheek as she left and I'd blush.

My wife said "isn't that just fiction? I don't get it."

Sing, sing a song

2009-09-28T20:54:00.000-07:00

We have this thing in our family where we try to say the lyrics to a song we all know as if they were just part of a normal conversation. It's pretty fun.

For example, my wife and kids like to listen to 96.5. Pop radio. I'm really more of a Q102 or US97 or NPR guy myself. But, I hear a lot of 96.5. And the other day when we were driving home, in the most normal voice I could muster, I said "Val, I never meant to start a war. You know, I never meant to hurt you. Don't even know what we're fighting for. Why does love always feel like a battlefield?"

The kids have caught on. Mason, 6, particularly likes it. This morning he said "Dad, I've got a feeling that tonight's gonna be a good night. Tonight's gonna be a good, good night."

Then earlier, just moments after a Geico commercial, he said "Dad, I always feel like somebody's watching me."

Happy Birthday Val!

2009-09-23T05:26:00.000-07:00

I want to wish my wife a Happy 38th birthday today! If you met us together at a dinner party, which would never happen, she'd be the one by the one you'd be impressed by. I'd be the one staring at the forks.

She is funny and cool and not be messed with. She is probably the hardest worker I've ever known. At every job she has ever had, she outperforms everyone. She was the best cook at Hardee's; the best microfilmer at the microfilming place (I think that's what she did); the best CSM; the best department manager; and the best mom-- the kids wouldn't trade her for $1 million. Happy Birthday, Val! Here's to the best.

The wedding dance

2009-09-14T05:30:00.000-07:00

I know I'm behind on this, but if you haven't seen the wedding dance video, you owe it to yourself to take a few minutes and watch it.

Check out "The Family"

2009-09-12T22:33:00.000-07:00

Below is a link to a really interesting NPR piece about a book called The Family: The Secret Fundamentalism at the Heart of American Power, by author Jeff Sharlet.

The interview is about 20 minutes long, and I really thought the whole thing was fascinating. Click here for the link.

Another Story of Scott

2009-09-11T05:00:00.000-07:00

Twice my little newspaper has done stories about a local guy named Scott Carlstrom that I never saw coming. Both articles have been inspiring tales of one man's will to survive in the face of difficult odds. Both have been incomplete.

The stories written by Mert Seaton and our new editor Dale McCurry were both well written. I didn't have a problem with either one. However, any good story is connected to many others. Each of those is just like a feather in a bigger chicken.

While I am always interested in the bigger chicken, what I want to write about here is simply another feather.

My wife, Valerie, grew up in a house across the street from "Scottie" Carlstrom. By all accounts (my wife, my sister-in-law's, Scott's mother), Val never made his young life, which sounded already rather difficult, very easy. It's safe to say she was a bit of a prankster.

Ryan Scott Carlstrom, now 34, has always had bad lungs. You see, he was diagnosed with cystic fibrosis at the age of 6. Often, children with this genetic disease never make it to be adults. One hazard: they have to be careful of infections, for sure.

Val, who is nearly four years older than Scott, never cared too much about his situation. Not that she was heartless. She did what kids will do; she treated him like anyone else. With little abandon.

For example, as an occasional play-buddy, she said she once sold him "China dirt."

"But I sold lots of kids China dirt," she said.

As you might guess, my wife never went to China.

She said his parents hated her growing up. She was too old to be playing with Scott. She was too rough. And my wife said they would always keep an eye on her; tell on her any chance they got.

Last year, right around the time the first story ran in the Free Press, my wife and I stood in a voting line next to Scott's mother. She seemed tense around Valerie at first, but something about the years gone by had softened her. His mother talked to us both about Scott, his condition, and how mean my wife used to be-- always the tomboy, the trouble maker.

My wife, for her part, acknowledged her own reckless attitude. We all talked softly about Scott and his deteriorating condition; he was in my graduating class, and though he seemed short, skinny, and shy, I never knew how he struggled.

A few days later, while taking my kids over to my in-laws, Scott's father came up to me and shook my hand-- he wanted to thank me for Mert's article. I tried to explain that I had nothing to do with it, but he was thankful all the same.

In this issue, on page 19, our new editor reported the good news. Scott received his long-awaited double-lung transplant. He lived in St. Louis for months away from his wife, and family, and friends...waiting.

My wife told me that, as a child, she did feel sorry for Scott at times. Especially, after school. You see, she said Scott's dad would make him run everyday to strengthen his lungs. She said Scott would often look sad that he couldn't just play with the others.

According to cff.org, around 30,000 kids and adults have cystic fibrosis in America. Unfortunately, not everyone gets to live long enough to see a shot at the type of life-saving surgery Scott received.

Dale reported that Carlstrom said he felt he was within a couple of months of dying. His lung capacity had been as low as 17 percent of where it ought to be before the transplant. It's now said to be at 123 percent.

In the article, Scott said: "I now know that I was lucky to have had CF all my life. When people live the way I now do for 50 or 60 years and then are hit with a catastrophic disease, it must be terribly hard to adjust. That’s all I had known.”

While he has had two rejection incidents, it seems now that he is out of the woods. With a new pair of lungs, it appears Scott has the best part of his life in front of him.

His parents, who have dedicated their lives to the care of their oldest son, can hopefully enjoy what's remaining of their stories.

There's a lot of feathers out there. There's a lot of stories.

For now, what matters is Scott has a new lease on life. He's 34, and just beginning to live.

Get out there and live, my friend. Play in the dirt. Get outdoors and play, Scottie. It's time for you to play.

Post Town Hall Thoughts

2009-09-01T04:12:00.000-07:00

KY3 reporter David Cantanese asked a question of Sen. Claire McCaskill after the town hall meeting yesterday: (paraphrasing) nobody who comes to these things ever seems to change their minds, so why do it-- what do you hope to get out of it?

She went on to say "we may not have convinced anyone... but it's still a really important part of this democracy."

In the post interviews behind the curtain at the Gillioz, she also said, "I learned its really important to make yourself available and accessible [to constituents]."

One of my friends on Facebook, a college-age counselor at a local church, said on his status "[He] would still disagree with Senator McCaskill on some of the substantive issues related to healthcare reform, but would now consider himself something of a fan; she was gracious, poised, thoughtful, and handled a difficult situation admirably. Kudos."

As someone down in the orchestra pit, I never got the sense that things were getting out of hand, but I did feel there was a real sense of anger in the air from those opposed to reform.

I can't help but wonder if McCaskill heard the angry voices as much as those who, like my friend, were listening heard her. The best arguments were all there for those who were looking.

Cantanese might have been wrong. I do think people on both sides were changed, even if only in subtle ways.

The Long Slow March

2009-08-30T00:18:00.000-07:00

We know we are all dying.
The smart, the rich, the beautiful.
We know where this trail leads.
The dumb, the poor, the ugly.
And yet moments of clarity come.
One true God among the stars.
The sun warms us.
The breeze cools us.
The sick. The tired. The steady.
March on.

Pigs Rule!

2009-08-26T21:10:00.000-07:00

Sometimes I get stuck on an idea, and I'll let it float around awhile until it becomes too big and ridiculous to sustain itself. For example, imagine there was only one type of tax. A sales tax. No property taxes or government fees of any sort. No income taxes. Just a sales tax. One flat tax. It's not really even an original idea, but follow me.

The tax could change from town to town, state to state, but from local governments on up the only legal form of taxation would be a sales tax. That's right, imagine no FICA. You'd have to outlaw exemptions to be fair. No tax breaks for anyone. No incentives, either. Not for the St. Louis Cardinals or Wal-Mart or James River Assembly. Not for anyone.

Any increase in taxes would have to be approved by voters. Legislators could decrease taxes, but only if they decreased them for everyone equally. Stick with me.

Here's the fun part: aside from the stuff we really want government for: national defense; the three branches of government; roads; and education, the government would provide basic needs for everyone. That's a lot you might say, but that's all. No postal service or social security or other stuff we don't need.

If you were poor or out of work or otherwise unable or unwilling (I know you don't want to, but you've got to include unwilling) to work you could have basic needs met such as food rations (three squares a day, and it doesn't have to be pretty as long as it sustains life), a basic home (something like the government housing projects we know and love), and health care (this can be good, but 3 free hospital visits per year, so make 'em count). That's it. If you don't want to work, you don't have to. But, you won't have money.

The government basics then-- as well as the other stuff-- would be provided by anyone who spends money. Or, in other words, people who worked. The people who work, even if they are poor, can buy what they can with their resources and know they're contributing to the larger national safety net.

Capitalism would still reign, but the wealth of the government would forever be tied to sales taxes. Who cares if the tax is 30 percent or more? Our basics are there if we need them, and the system would treat everyone the same. Have your freedom, and be as greedy as you want; it's good for the country.

Oh, and you'd have to be a citizen to get the government basics.

Under this fair, simple, and transparent system, trust would be restored to politicians, which would make them popular and well-liked by all.

Then we could let our leaders live in the big house. If they give a few special privileges to their friends every once in awhile, well, what would that hurt? When the leaders want or need to change the rules they can post a sign on the door for us workers to read.

Dang it! See, I always take it too far.

New CFP

2009-08-26T05:48:00.000-07:00

The Aug. 26 issue of CFP is "chock-full" of good stuff. The "Seen and Heard" section turned out really well, I think. Kelsey Garman's story about Dr. Bill Hathaway was good. Lyle Foster, health care, MMA: there is something for everyone.

It occurs that our paper often has an unusual mix of stories. I like that we have Kelsey's more conservative columns and features balanced with a heavy dose of what's happening in the local arts' community.

I should note too, that it is sad for me to see Kara Hartfield leaving the paper. I guess she is still going to do some stuff from home every once in awhile, but I'm going to miss her throwing paper clips at me. It is a small cubicle, and Fines has some big shoes to fill. I mean sandals. :[

cool stuff

2009-08-25T06:01:00.000-07:00

I know I've mentioned it before, but Stumbleupon is, in my opinion, a really neat website. For those who don't know, it is like a personalized google search engine for things you might think are cool on the Internet.

I decided to put a link up to my favorites page: www.donutb.stumbleupon.com. My "favorites" is a collection of sites that I marked as "I like it" for one reason or another. Even if you don't like me-- though I can't imagine why you'd be at my blog if you didn't, but whatever-- you might find some of the web pages funny or informative or entertaining. Anyway, check it out.

What's New in the 'Hood

2009-08-24T05:11:00.000-07:00

New Editor

The Community Free Press has hired a new managing editor: Dale McCurry. McCurry, who is from Eureka Springs, Ark., officially took over for Chris Wrinkle on Aug. 14.

I personally feel bad for Mr. Wrinkle. In his short time at CFP, he proved himself to be a very level-headed and knowledgeable newsman and editor. He's a good guy, too. I hope he lands on his feet somewhere soon, and really anyone would be lucky to hire him.

It appears McCurry was on a short list of choices for M.E. after Mert Seaton left in December. McCurry has a background in producing special publications, something it seems CFP wants to do more of in the future.

While transitions like this are always kind of weird, McCurry seems to be a really cool guy and handling the situation very well, which has made things easier. He's written an introduction on the Viewpoints page of the upcoming issue and is already distinguishing himself as an inventive, creative and talented writer.

Heal Yo' Self Fool

2009-08-20T04:39:00.000-07:00

I found a site that has folk remedies for all that stuff that's wrong with you. Check out Earthclinic.com. I recommend playing around on the Remedies and Ailments tabs.

Public Option, Co-ops, and All the Mess

2009-08-19T03:24:00.000-07:00

Now is a really good time for people who want to learn more about healthcare to be getting their information from a variety of sources. There is a lot of confusion out there, and it can be hard to know what information you can trust.

Kaiser Health News, which is run by the non-partisan Kaiser Family Foundation, is one great resource. This story, which they ran yesterday, has links to several articles from major newspapers about the debate over the public option, as well as information about healthcare co-operatives.

Public Option Dying

2009-08-17T07:24:00.000-07:00

It appears the president has backed off on healthcare. In a move that appears to be a signal to Republicans that he wants to work together, President Obama is now using language to suggest that lowering costs and competition is the key to reform. That likely means the public option, a government-run competitor, is dead when the House and Senate reconvene in September. Check out Politico.

A Poem

2009-08-16T23:26:00.000-07:00

P.O.E.

The problem of evil is what to do with it.
If you could manage to capture it, then what do you do?
Do you seal it away and bury it in a safe?
Pay someone to keep an eye on it
On the other side of the County line?
Do you hunt for more?
Do you take a nap, drift and float in the breeze of
A cool fan? Close your eyes.
Ignore the pacing feet at the door.
Shine a light and look, watch how it runs.
Hope that it runs.
The problem of evil is confronting it.
To touch it is to lose.
Dirty men without shirts walking bold
Begging for a reason to be free, to attack.
Scaring soft girls. Hungry.
It’s a problem.

Big Brother, Uncle Sam Part III

2009-08-14T05:02:00.000-07:00

There are two things that I have learned that I think others should know about health care reform: 1) there are several proposals floating around in the U.S. House and Senate, and 2) the early leader appears to be H.R. 3200, also known as the America's Affordable Health Choices Act of 2009.

That bill is the 1000+ page proposal you might have heard about. The big dog that couldn't be rushed through before the summer break. This measure, or any other, could change substantially before being voted on. The legislative process has a lot of potential twists and turns. At the moment, House DEMS are preparing the AAHCA to go to the floor in September. The bill has made it through three committees, or as House Majority Leader's Web site says, "the farthest comprehensive health reform effort has ever gotten."

The Kaiser Family Foundation, a non-partisan group that studies healthcare reform, has a side-by-side comparison of the major proposals and drafts introduced this year on its Web site. This is a particularly valuable tool for anyone wanting some basic information about the major proposals.

I recommend generating a more general comparison between the Senate Finance Committee's policy options, the Senate HELP plan, H.R. 3200 and Obama's 8 principals for reform. This will give you a sort of broad idea of what members of Congress are working on. But, you can be as specific as you want to be.

One thing that seems clear to me is that any comprehensive reform is likely to require all individuals to have health insurance. This will upset many, but will likely please those who are hard-pressed to find coverage.

Please feel free to use the links in this post as a reference tool, and share them with anyone who wants to learn more about health care reform.

What is Normal?

2009-08-13T02:46:00.000-07:00

I found Warrior of Light's "Inventory of Normality" thanks to StumbleUpon. I thought it was interesting enough that I wanted to share it. Check it out.

Big Brother, Uncle Sam Part II

2009-08-12T10:35:00.000-07:00

I'm on my lunchbreak at work, and I thought I'd post some information I found compiled by the National Coalition on Health Care. I'm putting together a story for CFP that looks at both sides of the Healthcare reform bills in Washington, and I am trying to learn everything I can.

I've been seeking non-partisan information, and, as you might imagine, that can be tricky. NCHC claims to be "rigorously non-partisan." I'm not sure if it is, but I do like that its honorary co-chairmen are former presidents George Bush and Jimmy Carter.

Here is what the group says about health insurance coverage.

Here is what it says about health insurance costs.

The long and the short is that many people are uninsured and healthcare costs are rising. What I like is that references are available, and I can double-check any information I'd use for the story. Many sites make claims, but don't back them up with sources.

Anyway, I thought I'd try to share what I was learning as I was learning it.

My Big Brother, Uncle Sam Part I

2009-08-11T05:48:00.000-07:00

There are two political issues I want to learn a lot more about: government healthcare and corporate bailouts.

Like most people, I have my own feelings on the subjects, but I don't know a lot about either one.

For example, I am in favor of some type of government-run healthcare for the poor, children, elderly, and the uninsurable. I want to see a plan that reduces costs for everyone because if you have been to the hospital in the last ten years you know just how rediculously expensive it can be.

In a country run by "we the people," it seems like we ought to be able to work together on this to create a system that works for "we." I worry that partisan bickering in Washington will keep any meaningful change from happening.

It is my hope that our country's millions of compassionate Christians don't work so hard to defeat the plans floating around in the Senate and House without addressing the very real need of the working poor and uninsured.

I've heard that the two best ways to reduce costs is to increase competition among careproviders and put a cap limits on medical lawsuits, otherwise known as tort reform. This makes sense to me. But, I need to learn more.

As for corporate bailouts, I don't like them. I recently read Matthew Taibbi's "The Great American Bubble Machine," and I am hungry to learn more background. If you have an extra hour, you should read it for yourself; it's very well-written, and seems to have an appropriate level of moral outrage. If you have another extra hour, you should read the Columbia Journalism Review's "Don't Dismiss Taibbi." I've read both, and if you read them too, you'll understand why I am interested.

As I learn more, I'll try to post links here, so "we" can learn together. If you find things on your own, please feel free to send me links and I'll try to share them here. It will be just like school, only we'll care.

Keep an eye out for Part II.

political profile

2009-08-10T07:49:00.000-07:00

I recently took a political profile quiz on Facebook, and it reminded me of a quiz I took when I was still a student at Missouri State. I found that old quiz on my former professor's Web site: Rhetorica.

While I had some issues with both quizzes-- a few times I said to myself, "well, it depends"-- the results of both surveys were almost identical. Turns out, I lean heavily libertarian (vs. an authoritarian govt. structure) and slightly liberal (vs. conservative). This is what I mean.

Click here to take the quiz for yourself. You might have thought you were a Republican or a Democrat all of your life, but never actually tested yourself on the issues. You may be surprised by your results.

The only downside to all of this is you might come away wondering why we are so dependant on either the REPS or DEMS. Then again, maybe you ought to wonder.

Sorry About Your Weight

2009-08-04T04:16:00.000-07:00

Years ago, I used to run the drive-thru at Hardee's. I used to do a little bit of everything at Hardee's. Cook. Run the front counter. Well, okay-- there was only so much you could do.

Despite what some may think, it wasn't a terrible job. I met my wife there.

I must have waited on thousands of people in my time on the drive-thru. I worked there for about three years starting at the end of August in 1994. Some 12 to 15 years later, one of the only customers I remember was this lady who yelled at me for taking too long.

On that particular day, we were short-handed. As I remember we had two people call in, and nobody to replace them. As we all know, mostly teenagers work those jobs. Instead of a crew of about six, we had four. The customers came anyway.

The yelling lady just happened to be behind this guy who had a $25 order. This was when combos were $3 to $4 a piece. It was a big order. And we were slammed.

She cussed me out. She had been in that lane for 15 minutes, and it was "ridiculous." I don't think I ever said anything to her. Her verbal assault was so impressive it stunned me into silence. I think she drove away before I has a chance to explain. Looking back, silence was the best response I could have come up with.

I hate long lines, myself. I've often thought it's a shame we have to spend so much of our lives waiting in one line or another. Like the one at the DMV. Or any line at a public restroom. And Christmas-time is no fun at Wal-Mart. Or Target. Or anywhere.

And I forgot amusement parks. In my opinion, no ride is worth a 45 minute wait.

Often, when a long-awaited movie or concert comes to town, fans will wait hours for the coveted tickets. Haven't we all seen the story on the news about the crazy Star Trek fans who waited 11 hours in line. That aint nothin'. I found an article in the Seattle Times about two sister who waited 11 days for the final Harry Potter book. Pride had something to do with it-- they wanted to beat someone else to the punch.

I was talking to my mom the other day about lines. She said she couldn't think of anything she'd wait in a long line for. She'd just leave, she said. Age has a way of not allowing us to put up with too much b.s.

When I worked at Hardee's, as a rule, if I felt someone had waited too long in line, I'd always apologize. I would say, "sorry about your wait." One day a really large lady was about to receive that phrase, but I bit my tongue.

Sometimes now when I wait in the drive-thru at McDonald's or Wendy's a teenager will say to me, "sorry about your wait." I'll laugh to myself, but I don't make a joke of it-- 'what am I, too fat?'

I'll just smile. "Don't worry about it. Have a good day." I'm really patient in drive-thrus.

New Issue

2009-07-29T05:11:00.000-07:00

Check out the latest issue of the Community Free Press. It continues to be a good little paper, and-- at the risk of sounding cheesy-- I am proud of my association with it.

Someone told me the other day that he always finds good stuff in there to read, which is a really high compliment coming from someone who isn't trying to suck-up.

Fines Massey took over the 'public defender' piece for me after I posted my take here, and delivered a very fine story. He is a solid writer, and a funny guy. I think we're lucky to have him on staff. I was glad to hear that things in the local office are getting better.

Kelsey Garman's 'Maturity Matters' story was interesting, too. So was... and on and on. It's a good issue. Enough said. No one here needs to read a sappy plug.

But then, that's all I had in mind.

Except for this: I am often dissatisfied with how much gets left out of any story I write. This isn't to say that Chris or anyone at CFP is doing anything wrong. The story lengths are good. The topics are fine, too. But, short of videotaping each interview, there is always good stuff that will be left out.

In doing the 'Animal Control' story on page 1, the audience wouldn't necessarily know that I rode around with Nicole Fowler, an animal control officer, for two hours last Thursday. I mention her only in the caption.

I thought it was interesting to know that she still gets attached to some of the dogs, cats, etc. she captures. Of course she would. Now when you consider the shelter has to euthanize over 2,000 animals a year...you can see how her story is interesting, too.

In a town of 150,000 people, stories are everywhere I guess.

Your okay, I'm okay

2009-07-26T23:14:00.000-07:00

I ran over a bird the other day. I was turning left and he never saw it coming. Or she never saw it coming. I don't know how to tell what sex a bird is. It might have been a robin.

It landed in-line with my tire. I was turning left and going downhill. There was no time to react. I ran right over it.

That bird might have learned through its experiences to not trust cats. Or dogs. Or people holding big sticks. Or airplanes. It might not have been scared of dogs.

I don't know how birds feel about cars, in general. I would guess that they're not usually afraid of being run over. Considering they have wings. I think cats should have much more to worry about when it comes to automobiles. They have an attitude like they own they road.

I bet if that bird ever feared a car it feared the windshield. That seems like a more likely threat. I don't know if birds talk to each other, but I can imagine a mother bird telling its baby bird to beware of windshields.

I can see little gossip-birds talking to their co-workers on the wire. Talking about the dumb skunks that get run over. Or the squirrels. 'Dumb animals can't fly at all,' one might say. The others on the wire, chuckling and feeling superior. Except for one. The one who knows that anything is possible. He's quiet, but smiles to be nice.

After I ran over it I could see it laying there in my rear view mirror--its feathers sticking up. There is no doubt. I ran over that bird.

It seems that whatever that bird thought it knew about cars didn't matter much. How could it have ever known what was coming?

I told a couple people at work about it. There wasn't much they could say.

Guessing the News

2009-07-22T03:04:00.000-07:00

So much of what we try to do at CFP, I try to do here, and journalists try to do everywhere can be called guessing the news.

In our latest issue at CFP, I wrote about College Station. I talked about the money that went into the new district, and I tried to talk to the people involved. Both, behind the scenes, and on the street.

In a story-idea meeting, we decided this was something ordinary people living in Springfield might care about. We were guessing.

The steps in guessing the news are pretty straightforward.

1. Take an inventory of what's going on.
2. Prioritize.

Often the process is influenced by what the gatekeepers-- those who set and change priorities like editors and publishers-- think their readership, their followers, their customers, even their advertisers, want to see in the final product. In fact, I said "often," but I can't think of a time when this isn't the case.

For example, this post came about after a follower of this blog sent me an e-mail asking about my own process for deciding what I write about, and what hits the cutting room floor-- a sort of early evaluation of my first couple of months as a blogger.

My first instinct was to resist this idea. I'm not sure I've been doing this long enough to matter, and (2) I'm not sure anyone other than Robert Stephens cares.

An aside: I'm flattered to have a Councilman reading my blog, but also, a little unnerved. As a journalist, and I believe Mr. Stephens knows this, I feel there needs to be a wall separating public servants and the press if the press is to truly serve the public. That means no buddy-buddies. We've had a friendly banter, and he's a nice guy, as a member of the public and follower of this blog I respect his input, but I hope he realizes I'm never going to have coffee with him.

Anyhoo, so, what do the unwashed masses want in a blog after all? And how do I decide? I asked myself, and I thought about it. I thought about my own process. My own audience. I thought about the sad sacks who might read this blog, the questionable flim-flams and lilly-livers who land here and stick, the pirates and voyeurs quietly watching beyond the screen, and I decided that more about the process was in order.

For me, I write about the types of things I want to see on the Internet. I imagine that the people reading this are both local and tired of the same old stuff. By same old stuff I mean the blogs that never seem to say anything, bland old diddies (spelling?) about the fam or a recent vacation. Well, I wrote about my vacation too, but more as a heads up-- 'hey, check this place out' (city museum).

I also write Thunderfire, which is similar to, but more awesome than, poetry. By posting it, I'm hoping to give you, the reader of ill-repute, something that is thought-provoking and unsucky. Often, poetry is so pretentious and caught up in admiring itself that only other poets can stand it.

In editorials or blogumns, I try to tap into my more serious side. The part of me that is, dare I say, interested in local politics and news coverage. Here is where I think we have a gaping hole, locally. I want to write columns that are, forgive me Fox, "fair and balanced." Springfield, in case you haven't noticed, doesn't have a columnist. Not a real one in any traditional sense. The News-Leader has a "from the left" and "from the right," but no Overstreet, and no middle-of-the-road, either. Which I think is a shame for a city of this size.

Oh sure, CFP has Bob Mace and Mert Seaton, who each, in their own way, are brilliant. But neither of them is the type of columnist I became impressed by in school. No NYT Sunday morning op-eds. No 3,000 + word novellas on elephant behavior after spending months in Africa. No real research or interviews. "No reporting" as Dr. Andrew Cline might say.

And myself, I have mostly failed at this in my short time as a blogger. Time constraints have stymied my efforts. As has a reluctance to try and interview others as a local blogger. Without the credibility or dedication of a Life of Jason, or the standing in the community of a daily paper backing my efforts, I admit to feeling sheepishly shy. Had I my own Web site with its own revenue, I tell myself, I would conquer the world with my ambition. An ambition, which I hope, is aiming to say something true about our human experience.

And that brings me back on topic-- how do I decide what I think you want to hear. How do I decide what you filthy delinquents, you dirty no-good gorillas, you depraved minnigans (minnies/hooligans) want to hear?

I look in the mirror, and I pick my spots. What else could I do?

The Case of the Mounting Cases

2009-07-14T07:42:00.000-07:00

Public defenders in the state of Missouri are overwhelmed, and they are not going to get the relief they need anytime soon.

Last year I did a three-part series on our local justice system called "Justice Delayed." (Click here for Part I, Part II, or Part III) Locals leaders all seemed to be saying the same thing: the jail is overcrowded, judges are handling too many cases, and the public defenders are hopelessly understaffed.

This year, legislators passed a bill that attempted to address part of the problem by putting caps on the number of cases public defenders could handle. Once the limit is reached, the defense of people accused of low-level crimes would be contracted out to private attorneys. Governor Nixon just vetoed that bill.

According to today's News-Leader article, Nixon said putting caps only shifts the burden to others in the criminal justice system. Additional funding for the justice system as a whole is what's really needed.

The long and the short is: yes, we need more public defenders, but then we also need more judges, more jail space, and so on. Each part of the system feeds the other.

Public defenders seem to be lowest on the priority list, too. What incentive is there for the state to increase funding for the defenses of the people charged with state crimes?

And it's not just a local problem. Public defenders are stretched-too-thin across the country.

Here, there, and everywhere the issue is the same: either our criminal justice system needs to get bigger through additional funding or we have to start getting choosy about who we want to go to jail.

If the state or federal government makes a push for more jails, defenders and judges, the average citizen should wonder where the money is going to come from. It's got to come from other areas of the state budget, or from new taxes.

So, this was my thought: if raising taxes is not an option with voters, and I suspect it's not, then perhaps we should look at not filling our jails and prisons with drug offenders.

This seems like a good idea as drug laws are, by their very nature, unconstitutional. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" should mean I can't tell you what to do with your body and authorities shouldn't govern the lives of consenting adults. As I mentioned in my original post though, for years I've been very conflicted over drug laws because I have seen at least one person's life change after a trip to jail.

Well, you may be wondering (as I was) just how many people are in jails or prisons for drugs, anyway?

According to the Department of Justice, in June of last year there were over 2.3 million people in federal or state prisons or in local jails. On average, local jails were running at 95 percent capacity.

In 2005, over 250,000 of the people in state prisons were drug offenders, which was roughly 20 percent of the total population. This number was actually slightly higher than the number of people incarcerated for property crimes. Violent crimes accounted for more than half of the total number of people in state prison.

What I found was that almost 1 percent of the total U.S. population is incarcerated. And, I think its safe to say roughly 1/5 of those are there for drug offenses.

When I spoke last year to the district defender of Springfield's public defender office, Rod Hackathorn, he said each attorney handles 150 to 180 at any given time. He said he'd like to see the caseload down to around 100 per defender.

If local numbers are like the national figures, then it seems that even a full-scale public groundswell movement to repeal our nation's drug laws wouldn't fix our public defender's problems. That's a shame.

For a moment, I thought I had an idea that could help.

Pain Relief Happens!

2009-07-13T01:17:00.000-07:00

Ever curse when you stubbed your toe? Did it make you feel better?

According to research sited in this U.K. story, swearing can increase aggression levels and reduce feelings of physical pain.

Surfing Pro

2009-07-08T05:28:00.000-07:00

Have you ever gotten online only to realize you really don't know what you are looking for? I know I have. I'll be drawn to the monitor as if by some magnetic pull only to realize there are only about four or five sites I ever regularly visit.

And it's frustrating, right? The Internet offers us endless possibilities it seems, a menu so large that we often dare to only eat what we have already tasted. Instead of surfing the Web, we end up just sticking our toes in the water.

Well, for me, that's changing.

Recently, I've discovered Stumbleupon. And at the risk of sounding like a pitch man, this site is a miracle cleanser. And so much more!

The idea is simple. You fill out a profile by selecting topics you think are interesting. You get your Login and password, and then you can start stumbling. Press the stumble button, and you'll go from one random Web site to another. Each of them fall within the general topics you've picked.

When you find a site you like, simply click the "I like it!" button and stumble will store it in your profile. I've just started, so there's only five sites I've picked so far. Generally, I like funny stuff the most. Like the poetry generator. Or the "how to tick people off" site.

In the weeks ahead, as I find things that I think are really fun, or informative, I'll call attention to them here.

Now when I get online I still won't know what I'm looking for, but I will at least know how to find it.

Happy Birthday!

2009-07-02T04:55:00.000-07:00

Happy 9th Birthday Andrew!

Andrew is smart, goofy, curious, talented, and he wears his heart on his sleeve (which isn't a bad thing). I hope as he grows up and changes, he really never grows up or changes.

Andy, if you are reading this, you should know that your mother and I talked about it, and we decided to keep feeding you for a few more years. :]

MJ Dead, in 1986

2009-06-29T04:50:00.000-07:00

According to an unnamed and imaginary source, the king of pop, Michael Jackson, did not die last week but passed away on January 08, 1986 due to complications from surgery nearly two years after he suffered second-degree burns while filming a soft drink commercial.

"America and the world is mourning him now, but the guy fans fell in love with died back in the 80s," said the imaginary source I will call P. Youngthing.

P. Youngthing said burns Jackson received during the filming of the infamous Pepsi commercial were much worse than the public ever knew, and eventually led to his death at the age of 27.

"You think Epic Records or Quincy Jones or the family were just gonna let him die-- it would have cost them millions," P. Youngthing said. "They propped up the best impersonator they could find, and that's the guy that died on June 25."

He added that he thought the longtime MJ fill-in was "a real d-bag."

P. Youngthing said he was a personal assistant to Jackson from 1981 to 1991. But, he said after the king of pop underwent reconstructive surgery in 1986, he was introduced to an all-together new Jackson by father Joe and a record executive.

"They said it was all going to be okay, and that this was the new Michael," P. Youngthing said. "I started asking questions because I knew it wasn't Michael, and Joe just gave me one of those looks like he was going to beat the crap out of me, so I shut up."

P. Youngthing said everything from "Bad" on was a total farce.

"There was just too much money to be made," he said. "When the new guy started getting really weird with the monkey and the sleeping chamber thing even Joe wanted to go public, but then Sony wanted to sign him and so nothing ever happened."

He said he still hopes those close to Jackson will "come clean" and tell the real truth someday.

"You think the real Michael Jackson would have slept with kids-- he could've had any girl in the world," P. Youngthing said. "It was the skin-bleaching freak who was the freak."

Darts and Heaven

2009-06-24T10:00:00.000-07:00

One of my favorite teachers at Missouri State, Brian Shawver, said the goal of all great literature should be to say something true about the human experience. He drew a bullseye on the chalk board and called the center truth, or objective truth, or something. I remember the bullseye. The point was all great novels should be aiming for truth.

I just finished reading a book that seemed to have that aim. It’s called “The Lovely Bones,” by Alice Sebold. In fact, it’s the main reason I haven’t posted anything this week. I have a limited amount of free time, and this week I spent it reading.

A friend from St. Louis bought the book for my birthday. It’s really a heart-breaking story of a 14-year-old girl who was raped and murdered. She narrates from a sort of purgatory, an “In-Between” where she can watch her family and friends deal with the aftermath of her murder. It was very emotional.

It tended to use some indirect language at times, which was frustrating. Not a perfectly-centered hit, I suppose. But overall, it was really very good.

It was similar to an idea I’ve had for a book for years, tentatively called “Badges.” I was sort of unnerved by the similarities because I don’t think I could write it as well as Sebold wrote hers. In my story, people who have lived wear their life stories on their clothes, like badges. The ones with the most honorable badges are teachers to the troubled souls in this sort of In-Between place where the story is set. The teachers can still watch the living and use their experiences to help the troubled. The lost or troubled souls get a shot at redemption through reincarnation. Nobody leaves the In-Between world until all have been helped.

It’s a rough idea, and I haven’t worked it out enough internally to start writing it. I wonder now if it wouldn’t seem, from the reader's perspective, to steal from Sebold. Her book sold over 1 million copies, and is being turned into a movie. I suppose it is different enough, but I wouldn’t want to write something that came off as a not-as-good version of her story.

I found a study sited by www.livescience.com, which says that 76 percent of doctors said they believed in God and 59 percent believe in some sort of afterlife. This was a comforting statistic to me.

I’m not a religious person, but, like many doctors, I believe in some sort of life after death. If you have ever known someone you trust who has had a near-death experience, as I have, you’ve probably heard a story that is as hard not to believe as it is to understand.

People of all major religious faiths (an many minor ones, too) have claimed and tried to document their religious experiences. Atheists and skeptics talk about the God part of the brain as a reason for religious faith, and offer the process of the brain shutting itself down as an explanation for the light-at-the-end-of-the-tunnel phenomenon.

Knowing what to believe isn't always easy, and I admit that I've struggled with my own faith and worldview as long as I can remember.

Contrary to much popular thought, I suspect that being right about the nature of things doesn’t matter much. In the end. If there is an end.

In a big mixed-up world, hitting the target squarely is hard. However, like Mr. Shawver said, we can control what we aim for.

Confessional

2009-06-18T04:16:00.000-07:00

Since returning from St. Louis I have discovered that I'm a criminal. A transgressor against society. A law-breaker. And I just can't stop!

I have let my tags expire. And not by just a little bit either. The plates on our van expired in March.

What happened was I thought my car's tags were due to be updated in July. Last year, I knew I got the two-year tags for one of our vehicles, and I thought it was the van. But I was wrong.

What's really funny, or perhaps pathetic, is that even though I have driven care-free for three months, now that I know I'm breaking the law I feel like I am a paranoid mess every time I get in the van. I know the cops know I'm out there, and I secretly debate the pros and cons of driving on side streets-- I think I can blend into traffic more on the big streets, but then that's also where I'm more likely to see the police.

I should be able to get the vehicle legal with my next check, but we are just too broke for me to do it before then. Yes, every year I pay our property taxes when I need the new tags. This is maybe not the best system.

It would be easy for me to break off into a diatribe about how unfair it is that we should have to pay property taxes at all. Haven't we already paid taxes on our cars? But, out of guilt, I digress.

This time 'round I am going to have to pay taxes on three vehicles. The car we bought my step-son when he turned 16 has been broken down for a year now.

I'm trying to sell that car now, and have placed an add in the paper (CFP, of course). $250 or best offer. If I would have been smart, I would have sold the thing before January 1. I held onto it, thinking we might fix it with an unexpected $1,700 windfall. That dream has died.

If I sell it this week, just maybe, I can pay the taxes on it.

I guess I could go ahead and get my state inspection over with. I'm sure I will only have to go to four or five places to find a mechanic who has the time to give me one. I would like to go on and on about that, too. But, who wants to hear about a criminal's problems?

St. Louis

2009-06-12T07:50:00.000-07:00

I'm back from St. Louis. I've been on vacation this week, and it was nice to get out of town. Val and the kids and I went up and stayed with my dad for a few days. We wanted to go to the zoo, but ended up doing something much more fun.

We went to the City Museum. The place was really cool. There were caves and tons of little tunnels and big long slides. It wasn't free (dad was kind enough to pay), but it was awesome and I think it was worth the money. My dad was saying that everything in the place was recycled-- I couldn't get the Web site up on my computer to read the "about us". It appeared to be-- old re-bar and metal of all shapes and sizes bent into things to climb on. It was a really cool place.

Vanishing Piece of Springfield

2009-06-08T20:57:00.000-07:00

Popular Springfield blogger Jason Wert announced he will bring his site to a close today to focus on his work with an online ministry project tentatively called "The Prayer Channel."

"As I was praying and working tonight on the web aspect of a new ministry God has begun I knew that we’d reached the point where I didn’t have enough time between God, family and work to dedicate to continuing to run this site with same level of commitment" Wert said in what appears to be his final post as head of Life of Jason.

Wert recently won the 2009 Blogaroni for "Blog of the Year" at the Springfield Local Bloggers Association Awards ceremony. He also won "Best News Blog," "Best Local Coverage Blog," and "Blog Post of the Year."

I've only been aware of his site for about six months now, but it became clear to me quickly that he was one of this area's best reporters. In his "Thank You, Goodnight." post he thanked the past and present mayor, members of City Council and several other city officials for being open and available to him. In my opinion, the fact that he had so much to thank them for is a testament to his own effectiveness as a citizen journalist.

His coverage of City Council, his interviews in the last two (at least) election cycles and his personal take on the politics of the failure behind this session's Autism Bill (which was really great) all speak to his abilities, and the unique place his site has filled in the Springfield area.

Best of luck, Jason.

Little Black Box

2009-06-06T23:44:00.000-07:00

Here's a new poem.

Little Black Box

I am:

System of a Down: Spiders
Beck: E pro
Beastie Boys: Sabotage
Lil' Wayne: Got Money
Outkast: Bombs Over Baghdad
Justin Timberlake: Love Stoned
Radio Head: Everything in its Place
Weezer: Say it Aint So
Tool: Undertow
Nine Inch Nails: The Perfect Drug
U2: A Sort of Homecoming
Lil' John: Snap Your Fingers

I still want to be:

Blind Melon, Pachelbel, Nickel Creek, Smashing Pumpkins, Pearl Jam.

I've seen you there God. I've felt you there.

To the father I pray, to the alter I bring. My own relationship. Our own conversation.

pathetic man

2009-06-06T07:02:00.000-07:00

Okay, this has to be one of the funniest things I've ever read.

Welcome, The Water is Fine

2009-06-04T16:41:00.000-07:00

I'm full of faults.

I have my own issues. I sometimes get angry too easily. I'm sometimes flighty, and I think I daydream too much. I haven't checked my credit score in awhile, but I'm pretty sure it stinks-- I've never been good with money. And I've probably just scratched the surface. So, I'm going to do my best to not sound self-righteous here.

But... I'm glad to see Becky Spence and the eminent domain issue finally getting some attention from the other local media outlets.

It's an important story. And its been a story for awhile now.

I understand that most people are busy with their own lives. They seldom have the energy or time to pay much attention to local government.

Reporters and media-types are busy too. Always running from one story to the next, hoping to get enough sources and hit deadlines.

But when the government or (in the unique case of Springfield) a city-owned company such as City Utilities begins taking away our rights or our property, we should all pay attention.

If its true that the media is the fourth estate and should be a watchdog of public officials, then where have you all been?

I've been hoping for weeks to see more play on this story, and I just haven't found it.

As someone who is trying to be objective and fair, I've been happy to talk to CU spokesperson Joel Alexander: (paraphrasing) 'we are still pursuing negotiations;' 'bus ridership is up since 1995.' But, as someone who attended Spence's hotel-plan meeting said, "when was the last time you saw a bus that was more than a quarter full?"

And really, who cares if her hotel is viable (though that adds an interesting element to the story)-- It's her land!

Serious questions still need to be asked of CU. How much would implementing a grid-system cost? How full are buses during peak hours? Why didn't someone review the findings of the feasibility study and see that the "fatal flaw" (page 54)in sites 2A, 2B, and 3 (city-owned) was that they would take away downtown parking when two new parking garages where being put up in the middle of downtown? I missed the last one myself-- but, I asked on Tuesday. Joel said he'd get back to me. He didn't. But now it doesn't matter. CU announced Wednesday it is looking into city-owned properties again.

When issues like these pop up, we all need to pitch and be a set of eyes.

City Council members did the right thing by questioning CU's plans to use eminent domain. They were right to get involved. They know the city has other properties to build an unnecessary bus station on.

I hope others stay on this story now that they've picked it up. Please don't just leave it to me. I've got my own issues.

It's Wakey, Wakey Time

2009-06-03T05:27:00.000-07:00

I have to get up and get going today because there is a lot on to be excited about.

For one thing, Becky Spence is holding her public meeting today. Check out the 6-03 issue of the Community Free Press to see what I'm talking about. I think this issue turned out really well. Kara's "15 minutes with" Tom Prater and Bob Mace's "Hot Air" are big highlights. Though I won't tell either of them. Mace, in particular, already knows how great he is.

For second, its the kids last day of school. For me, that means no more waking up at 6 to take my wife to work. My step-son has been driving my car to school so that he can pick up his younger brothers, and then his mother, in the afternoons. So, post-today begins a new routine. That's right, I can sleep until 7 or 7:30 if I want now.

For three, Coach Wade talks. I just found the story on the News-Leader Web site, and am not sure I could be more excited. The former SBU coach talks about his humbling (it seems like he said the word "humbled" like 100 times) Survivor experience.

Survivor is one of the all-time great shows, so the Wade interview was required reading for me. Matt Baker did a good job on the article. I only wish he would have held Wade to the fire a bit more about lying on the show. We all saw it, Coach. Sierra knows, and so do the rest of us. Coach is still the victim, of course. But, it was good to see that he seems to be knocked down a peg or two.

Wakey, Wakey. The sun is shining, y'all.

Nightmare Hippie Girl

2009-05-31T23:17:00.000-07:00

There is an old song by Beck called "Nightmare Hippie Girl." I always liked the song and sort of had it in mind when I wrote this back at Missouri State.

She Doesn’t Like Labels

All these nouns are killing me, she said.
She likes to fly around the sun.
People, places and things have
always let her down, she said.
Taco, paper, toilet, planner.
Use them, eat them, use them, please.
More plentiful than icebergs.
More sad than biology frogs, floating.
What can a noun do?
I want to do something, she said.
Be a comet with an icy tail.
Take your world and your things, she said.
Put them in a pill. Understand them.
I’m not what I was or what I will be, she said.
It’s not the world for her.
She dreams of stars and stares at them
when they buzz by, trying to understand—
salesman, tech-writers, marketers, men.

An Evening Among Lovers

2009-05-26T05:13:00.000-07:00

The original name for the following poem was "An Evening Among Lovers." I changed it along the way somewhere.

A Dream of the Lost

Jumping the curb in a dream,
We were running through city fields.
I could see the pool hall, a dirty church, and
14 shifty-eyed cars passing us.
We were lovers in a lost land,
like Lassie looking for Timmy.

We were looking for a home, hoping to be
in His presence, where we’d be safe and fearless,
next to crown-wearers, generals, champions--
some double-chocolate fattening place.

I felt this leering anonymous
on our curious date. Our long shadows
were more real than now. Were we
protected then? Is He waiting for us still?

An evening among lovers,
searching for a place in the dark,
laughing while we ran.
Barking, just over the hill,
we’re coming Timmy.
We’re coming home.

This is A 'Merica

2009-05-25T07:23:00.000-07:00

As someone who has never served my country, I know I feel extremely grateful for the men and women who have.

I am able to write this blog, vote for whomever I chose, start my own business, pick my nose and generally blaze my own trail because others have defended the cause of freedom.

Life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness...that's what its all about.

Recently, I was glad to see that our state legislators passed a helmet-law, which our governor is expected to sign. The bill would allow motorcycle riders over the age of 21 to chose to ride helmet-free.

People already make that choice, of course. I should say, if the governor signs the bill, the state agrees not to punish those bikers who will choose to ride without helmets. Those over 21, anyway. Oh, and those not on the interstates. Oh, and only for five years.

While I think this is a good move, I think its only a small step in what I hope is a larger movement to reclaim our civil liberties.

Let's take a closer look at the above-mentioned bill. First off, let's call it what it is-- a temporary repeal of law. In five years old helmet regulations go back into effect unless another measure is passed.

Second-off(?), what exactly is the teeth in this thing anyway? Read the bill for yourself, the repeal exempts riders from what exactly?

Any person twenty-one years of age or older operating or riding as a passenger on any motorcycle or motortricycle without protective headgear upon an interstate highway shall be guilty of an infraction for which a fine not to exceed twenty-five dollars may be imposed.

To be fair, I have to say, if convicted, a person would be guilty of a Class A misdemeanor. For a third violation, a person would be guilty of a Class D felony.

Now, there are a couple ways to look at this. If you get caught riding without a helmet, you get a slap on the wrist. 'Shame on you. Wear your helmet,' the state says. The law the governor is hopefully going to sign eliminates the slap. For five years.

Another way to view this is as the most ridiculous, unnecessary insult to our civil liberties-- ever.

What could be a more effective incentive for wearing a helmet than, oh I don't know, not having your brains splattered on the road?!?

This Memorial Day, I hope people take a moment to think about what freedom really means. To me, it means taking personal responsibility for your own actions. It means freedom of expression, it means religious freedom, and much more.

If there was a law passed against pink hair, I think people would be outraged. Can you imagine what people would say? The arguments they'd construct against the unnecessary governmental intrusion into their lives. Now use those same arguments against helmet laws, seat-belt laws or laws against recreational drug use.

Real freedom comes with risks. It should be our job as citizens to tell friends and neighbors to not be dumb-asses-- 'wear your helmet, for the love of god; don't put that into your body, what are you thinking?;' and so on.

If we hand those jobs over to legislators, they'll just tell you a $25 fine will do.

And then we all lose something more valuable than any one life. And too many veterans' families know what I'm talking about.

Lunch Update

2009-05-20T10:58:00.000-07:00

I felt very encouraged to receive a phone call from Mrs. Spence this morning. She said she read the article and felt it was very fair.

While the article was not designed to please her, it's not unusual for me to have that lingering fear that I got something wrong. And I did sort of expect to have to defend my reasoning for diving into her history with local leaders. Luckily, she seemed to get it.

I know she had reservations about me putting her story in a negative light and it hampering her negotiations with CU. I just tried to tell it like it was, and let people decide for themselves whether they believe and/or sympathize with her or not.

The bottom line is this proposal is a big story. Can she pull it off? Will a new City Council and mayor want to work with her? Will this amp up pressure on CU to cooperate with her on the bus station plans or look at another location altogether and allow her to develop her property as she sees fit? Time will tell.

I'm just encouraged that she chose to speak with us and felt the story we did was fair.