Posts
In case you didn't know, the best radio play-by-play caller in America is living and working in Springfield, MO.
Art Hains, the radio voice of Missouri State basketball, proved once again the other night that there is nobody in the world better at yelling.
The voice of the Bears most recently lost it when Kyle Weems sank a 3-pointer with 2.5 seconds left to sink the Jayhawk-dream-killing Northern Iowa Panthers 58-57 in Cedar Falls.
Listen to the last 30 seconds of the game by clicking this link to www.radiospringfield.com and pressing play on the 12-29 radiocast. It only takes a few seconds download, and then you can click in the middle of the white to pick a spot in the game. You can hear the end call in the 2:14 minute, but I suggest going back to a couple of minutes to get the full effect.
If you can't feel what this guy is doing, you have no soul. Go Bears!
Friday, December 31, 2010
Sunday, December 19, 2010
Ask and/or tell
Ding dong the witch is dead.
I don't know if I feel the way I do because I love to root for the underdog, or if it's because I have known family members who are gay, or if it's because I have worked with homosexuals I respected and considered to be my friends or if it's because I have a distaste for injustice in general, but the news that Don't Ask Don't Tell is soon to be repealed made me feel proud.
I'm proud of our country, and I'm proud of our legislators for doing the right thing by standing up for the rights of homosexual citizens.
I can't say it any better than Sen. Ron Wyden, an Oregonian democrat, said it on the floor of the Senate before the 65-31 vote on Saturday (according to the NY Times): “I don’t care who you love. If you love this country enough to risk your life for it, you shouldn’t have to hide who you are.”
Well done, gang.
I don't know if I feel the way I do because I love to root for the underdog, or if it's because I have known family members who are gay, or if it's because I have worked with homosexuals I respected and considered to be my friends or if it's because I have a distaste for injustice in general, but the news that Don't Ask Don't Tell is soon to be repealed made me feel proud.
I'm proud of our country, and I'm proud of our legislators for doing the right thing by standing up for the rights of homosexual citizens.
I can't say it any better than Sen. Ron Wyden, an Oregonian democrat, said it on the floor of the Senate before the 65-31 vote on Saturday (according to the NY Times): “I don’t care who you love. If you love this country enough to risk your life for it, you shouldn’t have to hide who you are.”
Well done, gang.
Monday, November 29, 2010
That place
Hello, my friend.
Welcome to
that place with chairs,
the most powerful idea.
It's the most powerful idea.
You have space here.
Space to be quiet, to heal.
There's a fire on a log.
We'll let you sleep in under
fat comforters. We like to sleep.
You need a warm shower?
You can throw up if you need to.
Or smoke a cigarette.
The fridge has pizza and cookie dough.
Check what's on TV.
The doors are locked and
the windows, too.
Everyone is here.
I had a song on my mind,
da-da-da-duh.
And I sang it real loud!
da-da-da-duh.
My friend, my dearest friend
da-da-da-duh.
I'll hold your face
and we'll climb a tree
and laugh into the clouds
forever. You are dead.
You are totally dead,
my friend.
Welcome to
that place with chairs,
the most powerful idea.
It's the most powerful idea.
You have space here.
Space to be quiet, to heal.
There's a fire on a log.
We'll let you sleep in under
fat comforters. We like to sleep.
You need a warm shower?
You can throw up if you need to.
Or smoke a cigarette.
The fridge has pizza and cookie dough.
Check what's on TV.
The doors are locked and
the windows, too.
Everyone is here.
I had a song on my mind,
da-da-da-duh.
And I sang it real loud!
da-da-da-duh.
My friend, my dearest friend
da-da-da-duh.
I'll hold your face
and we'll climb a tree
and laugh into the clouds
forever. You are dead.
You are totally dead,
my friend.
Sunday, November 28, 2010
Stumble on this!
I am putting up some links to some things I've found on StumbleUpon that I have found useful or humorous.
Storm Troopers 9/11
10 sites that will warp your mind
50 dumb laws
New ways to tie your shoes
Internet TV Guide
The World of Cats and Dogs
I write like...
(I write like Rudyard Kipling.) Enjoy.
Storm Troopers 9/11
10 sites that will warp your mind
50 dumb laws
New ways to tie your shoes
Internet TV Guide
The World of Cats and Dogs
I write like...
(I write like Rudyard Kipling.) Enjoy.
Sunday, November 21, 2010
Stinky is 15
The fact that I have even heard of the Bed Intruder song is a tribute to the birthday boy. But I digress. I'm here today to write about The Legend.
The Legend of the Chase
Now that Chase is getting older, I want him to know more about his origins, or at least, what we imagine his origins to be. The whole truth may never be known.
From what we can tell, Stinky, as I affectionately call him, was born in the Mark Twain National Forest in the late fall of 1995. We believe he lived his first month of life with a pack of blonde wolves. His mother and I found him with his head stuck in a log near the Finley River while on a brisk country hike.
Once loosed from his from his fallen tree, we saw a smiling boy with a headful of blonde hair. Valerie, who has an undying love for all of God's creatures no matter how ugly, insisted that we put the poor animal down. But, for reasons that are unclear to me now, I put my hand in front of her gun, and I said, "no, we can raise him as our own."
As he got older, we worked hard to make him just like a normal boy. We gave him regular daily haircuts and eventually weened him off of squirrels and toilet water. He is, in many ways, our greatest work.
Those who know him today would hardly believe that in the first grade Chase ran the mile at school on all fours (4:52 is still a Missouri elementary record), or that when he was 9 he nearly replaced Hugh Jackman's prized role in the X-Men movie series. Today, Chase is on the debate team at Parkview, and he plays basketball with real kids. We are so proud of how hard he's worked!
Over the years, I have taken the boy I call my son back to the forest many, many times to see if he might stay. But, his yelps of fear always told me, "Don't go, daddy. I'm one of you." And looking at how far he's come now, I can honestly say I'm glad he always managed to catch me before I got back to the car.
Happy Birthday, buddy! We don't hate you!
Wednesday, November 3, 2010
New Jobby Job
I want to let my general blogging audience (probably millions of people) know what most of my Facebook friends have already heard: I got a new gig. On Monday, I accepted a job offer from the Springfield Business Journal. Starting next week, I'll be the new reporter on staff.
I'm excited about the job, and I'm anxious to get there and get to work. In my time at CFP, I found that I really enjoyed writing business stories and features, and so this feels like a natural fit for me. Also, I will be covering Springfield City Council meetings, which takes advantage of my experience and feeds my somewhat dorky interest in our local government.
In the days to come, I'm curious to see how this new career affects what I publish here. I wouldn't expect things to change too much, but I suppose I will want to be careful not to be too political. It may be that I will start a new website or blog at some point where I can be anonymous, but still have an outlet for some of my more creative ideas. I don't know, yet.
Regardless, it's a new day for me, and I'm excited to get busy on getting busy. Thanks, SBJ. You have not made a mistake.
Monday, November 1, 2010
Ballot guide for Nov. 2
If you would like to review the measures on the ballot before voting tomorrow click here.
If you have questions about what to expect at the polls or want to know who to call if you think your voting rights may be violated click here.
If you want to know where your Congressional candidates stand on the issues (Dist. 7- SW Missouri) click here.
If you want to brush up on State House and Senate candidates in the Springfield area click here (voters' guide found in Oct. 20 issue by clicking on the newspaper icon).
If you want to learn more about the drugs you'll need to take before and after you vote click here.
If you have questions about what to expect at the polls or want to know who to call if you think your voting rights may be violated click here.
If you want to know where your Congressional candidates stand on the issues (Dist. 7- SW Missouri) click here.
If you want to brush up on State House and Senate candidates in the Springfield area click here (voters' guide found in Oct. 20 issue by clicking on the newspaper icon).
If you want to learn more about the drugs you'll need to take before and after you vote click here.
Monday, October 25, 2010
Obama-scare
You don't have to be too much into the whole reading thing to know that many conservatives are looking forward to the midterm elections. While political forecasters may disagree about the size and scope of the revolt, they all agree that Republicans should see their numbers in Congress increase significantly as a result.
Fine. But something about the hypocrisy in the air is making my soul feel ache-y and feverish.
Moments ago I watched a commercial that featured Roy Blunt saying he wanted to fix Medicare. You know, that government-run health care program for seniors. Blunt, apparently, is not ideologically opposed to Medicare. For if he were, it seems he would want to repeal it. He would say that the government can't run anything and shouldn't be providing socialist entitlement programs when the private sector is perfectly capable of insuring seniors.
Libertarians are often clear and consistent about what they feel the role of government should be. In short, military, cops, and that's about it. Libertarians believe a free market can better provide for many of the things we socialize (education, health care, etc.) and the government's primary role should be to protect individual freedoms (in other words, it shouldn't legislate morality).
I've often romanticized Libertarian philosophy. But ultimately, I believe a government run by elected officials can oversee effective educational and health care systems. Most people, like good ole' Roy, aren't ready to get rid of public schools or Medicare.
And, by the way, fixing Medicare is a good aim. Fixing Social Security is a good aim, too.
With the Obama administration in place since January '09, I've sat back and watched a number of conservatives demonize our president's liberal "agenda." At times, it's been funny to me because I remember well the calls of "Impeach Bush" that seemed so loud just two and three years ago.
Now, as I watch political commercials rail against "Obamacare," and the left's "extreme" vision for America, I can't help but feel sickened.
If you count yourself among the conservatives anxious to vote on Nov. 2, I'd like you to first consider a couple of things. Then, by all means, vote away.
1. A stimulus was needed.
When the economy began to tank in 2008, and the fed cut interest rates next to zero with little effect, pressure for the government to do something became a reality for people of both parties. It's easy for people to forget, but Sen. John McCain's own economic stimulus plan (proposed in Feb. 2009) was $421 billion. Neither political party was suggesting that deficit spending was irresponsible when we were still on the brink of Depression.
By late 2009, many felt Obama's $787 billion stimulus had had at least a stabilizing effect on the economy. Some others felt the stimulus wasn't aggressive enough.
2. Obamacare does not exist.
Democrats in Congress under the guidance of their president had hoped to create a "public option" as part of their plan to insure more Americans and reduce medical expenses in the summer of '09. But, amid talk of death panels and town hall forums gone crazy, Dems abandoned the idea in favor of reforms deemed acceptable by the more conservative members of their party. The result was legislation that featured an expansion of Medicaid and mirrored a conservative alternative to Clinton's universal coverage attempt of the 90s: individual mandates.
The truth is that health care costs in this country have been out of control for years. Clearly, industry reform was a priority for Obama. Was this a bad goal? No way.
3. Bailouts were bipartisan.
I was lucky enough to interview Roy Blunt in 2008 moments after he addressed local citizens' concerns about the TARP legislation (a.k.a. Wall-Street bailout) for which he helped secure votes. In a recent Columbia-Missourian article, Blunt states that the $700 billion measure designed to save troubled banks and financial institutions "may have prevented real economic disaster."
The article points out that while Robin Carnahan supported the stimulus, she opposed the bailout. Blunt, perhaps obviously, hated the stimulus but thought TARP was necessary. Neither have been very popular with voters, and are often listed as reasons for the emergence of the Tea Party.
On Nov. 2, doors to polling places across the nation will open. People will file in, mark this box or that, and collectively, their voices will be heard. It is my hope that they think before they speak.
Fine. But something about the hypocrisy in the air is making my soul feel ache-y and feverish.
Moments ago I watched a commercial that featured Roy Blunt saying he wanted to fix Medicare. You know, that government-run health care program for seniors. Blunt, apparently, is not ideologically opposed to Medicare. For if he were, it seems he would want to repeal it. He would say that the government can't run anything and shouldn't be providing socialist entitlement programs when the private sector is perfectly capable of insuring seniors.
Libertarians are often clear and consistent about what they feel the role of government should be. In short, military, cops, and that's about it. Libertarians believe a free market can better provide for many of the things we socialize (education, health care, etc.) and the government's primary role should be to protect individual freedoms (in other words, it shouldn't legislate morality).
I've often romanticized Libertarian philosophy. But ultimately, I believe a government run by elected officials can oversee effective educational and health care systems. Most people, like good ole' Roy, aren't ready to get rid of public schools or Medicare.
And, by the way, fixing Medicare is a good aim. Fixing Social Security is a good aim, too.
With the Obama administration in place since January '09, I've sat back and watched a number of conservatives demonize our president's liberal "agenda." At times, it's been funny to me because I remember well the calls of "Impeach Bush" that seemed so loud just two and three years ago.
Now, as I watch political commercials rail against "Obamacare," and the left's "extreme" vision for America, I can't help but feel sickened.
If you count yourself among the conservatives anxious to vote on Nov. 2, I'd like you to first consider a couple of things. Then, by all means, vote away.
1. A stimulus was needed.
When the economy began to tank in 2008, and the fed cut interest rates next to zero with little effect, pressure for the government to do something became a reality for people of both parties. It's easy for people to forget, but Sen. John McCain's own economic stimulus plan (proposed in Feb. 2009) was $421 billion. Neither political party was suggesting that deficit spending was irresponsible when we were still on the brink of Depression.
By late 2009, many felt Obama's $787 billion stimulus had had at least a stabilizing effect on the economy. Some others felt the stimulus wasn't aggressive enough.
2. Obamacare does not exist.
Democrats in Congress under the guidance of their president had hoped to create a "public option" as part of their plan to insure more Americans and reduce medical expenses in the summer of '09. But, amid talk of death panels and town hall forums gone crazy, Dems abandoned the idea in favor of reforms deemed acceptable by the more conservative members of their party. The result was legislation that featured an expansion of Medicaid and mirrored a conservative alternative to Clinton's universal coverage attempt of the 90s: individual mandates.
The truth is that health care costs in this country have been out of control for years. Clearly, industry reform was a priority for Obama. Was this a bad goal? No way.
3. Bailouts were bipartisan.
I was lucky enough to interview Roy Blunt in 2008 moments after he addressed local citizens' concerns about the TARP legislation (a.k.a. Wall-Street bailout) for which he helped secure votes. In a recent Columbia-Missourian article, Blunt states that the $700 billion measure designed to save troubled banks and financial institutions "may have prevented real economic disaster."
The article points out that while Robin Carnahan supported the stimulus, she opposed the bailout. Blunt, perhaps obviously, hated the stimulus but thought TARP was necessary. Neither have been very popular with voters, and are often listed as reasons for the emergence of the Tea Party.
On Nov. 2, doors to polling places across the nation will open. People will file in, mark this box or that, and collectively, their voices will be heard. It is my hope that they think before they speak.
Saturday, October 23, 2010
Album videos
Today I was looking up a video on YouTube when I got another amazing idea that I I can't really profit from in any way...wait a minute...prepare yourselves...okay, you're ready: Album videos. That's right, a video that goes from one song to another in one continuous visual vision.
Ask yourself, how often have I yearned to see a video of a favorite song on a kick-ass album for which no video has been made? Answer: too many times. Well, not anymore thanks to album videos!
For too long thick-headed and cold-hearted record execs have pushed singles and one-song videos. Boo, I say! But now, with album videos, everyone will be happy forever.
But, you point out, there may be a problem if the songs on your favorite artist's album are just too different. And, you add, what if no distributor wants to fund what amounts to an hour-long movie for what's likely to amount to no greater return on investment? To you, I respond as follows: Get off my back! I just wanted to see a video for Kid Cudi's Heart of a Lion. Is that so wrong? "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, No, Yeah, Yeah!"
Ask yourself, how often have I yearned to see a video of a favorite song on a kick-ass album for which no video has been made? Answer: too many times. Well, not anymore thanks to album videos!
For too long thick-headed and cold-hearted record execs have pushed singles and one-song videos. Boo, I say! But now, with album videos, everyone will be happy forever.
But, you point out, there may be a problem if the songs on your favorite artist's album are just too different. And, you add, what if no distributor wants to fund what amounts to an hour-long movie for what's likely to amount to no greater return on investment? To you, I respond as follows: Get off my back! I just wanted to see a video for Kid Cudi's Heart of a Lion. Is that so wrong? "No, no, no, no, no, no, no, Yeah, No, Yeah, Yeah!"
Sunday, October 17, 2010
Happy 8th Birthday!
Today, my son Mason turns 8-years-old. He is, without a doubt, the entertainer of our family. If you stick a camera in his face, you'll never know what kind of face you'll get for a shot. Serious, sad, goofy, he seems to have a million poses. While we have never favored him, it always seems that if we are taking pictures at a family outing, we'll end up with more of Mason than anyone else.
One thing that people tend to find out quickly is that Mason loves to have a good time. He has a huge laugh, and quite often, the worse the joke the bigger it is. And like his father, when you catch him in the mood to tell a joke, he has a determination to his delivery that is usually more funny than his material. Mason is the only child of mine known to regularly make up his own jokes.
I've said it before, but Mason is also quite an artist. While he does great work at school, he is also known for many of his off-the-clock pieces. One of the things our family loves are Mason's pictures of Chase drawn in scenes of great peril. We're not sure how this started, but Mason has compiled at least 20 or so drawings of his older brother facing an impressive variety of life-threatening situations. Chase, to his credit, has been a good sport about seeing his likeness falling off a cliff into shark-infested waters or resting on a plate near a hungry lion. Were it another kid, we might be concerned about a violent imagination. But Mason is just a goofball; he cracks up at our reactions.
Over the last couple of years I've also been very happy to see a sensitive and kind Mason emerging. He appears to want to be a good teammate, student, friend, son, and grandson. He is also not afraid of work, and he really seems to be self-motivated. He has what all parents hope to find in their children, a good heart.
Mason loves playing basketball, riding his bike, running fast, watching T.V. and playing with friends. He routinely tells us more about the events of his daily life than we would ever think to ask. And the stories are always very entertaining. We love you, buddy! Happy Birthday!
Sunday, October 3, 2010
Reggie, the "Tank"
Alright, so I'm a sucker for a good story. While I normally pride myself as someone who lets e-mail forwards die with me, I recently received one that I thought could make my momma cry, and therefore, deserved to be passed along. Who knows if this is true, and it will take a few minutes, but this one is worth reading. Enjoy.
###
They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie,
as I looked at him lying in his pen.. The shelter was
clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly.
I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere
I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open.
Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.
But something was still missing as I attempted to
settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog
couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to.
And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local
news. The shelter said they had received numerous
calls right after, but they said the people who had come
down to see him just didn't look like "Lab
people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.
But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things,
which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis
balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.
For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls --- he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes.
I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he
settled in. But it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.
I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and
"come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it.
He never really seemed to listen when I called his name --- sure, he'd look in my
direction after the fourth or fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever.
When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.
This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes.
I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell.
The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two
weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search
mode for my cell phone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I
remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest
room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the
"damn dog probably hid it on me."
Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the
shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys
from the shelter...I tossed the pad in Reggie's
direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most
enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But
then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come
here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced
in my direction --- maybe "glared" is more accurate --- and
then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down .... with his back to me.
Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.
But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope.
I had completely forgotten about that, too.
"Okay, Reggie," I said out loud,
"let's see if your previous owner has any advice."
____________ _________ _________ _________
To
Whoever Gets My Dog:
Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter
could only be opened by Reggie's new owner.
I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this,
it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab
after dropping him off at the shelter.
He knew something was different.
I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip,
but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong.
And something is wrong...which is why I have
to go to try to make it right.
So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it
will help you bond with him and he with you.
First, he loves tennis balls.
The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part
squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always
has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in
there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't
matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be
careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made
that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.
Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff
already told you, but I'll go over them
again: Reggie knows the obvious ones ---
"sit," "stay," "come," "heel."
He knows hand signals:
"back" to turn around and go back when you put
your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your
hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking
water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He
does "down" when he feels like lying down --- I bet
you could work on that with him some more. He knows
"ball" and "food" and "bone"
and "treat" like nobody's business.
I trained Reggie with small food treats.
Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.
Feeding schedule: twice a day,
once about seven in the morning, and again at six in
the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter
has the brand.
He's up on his shots.
Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with
yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when
he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet.
Good luck getting him in the car.
I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.
Finally, give him some time.
I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie
and me for his whole life He's gone everywhere
with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if
you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he
doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be
around people, and me most especially.
Which means that this transition is
going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.
And that's why I need to share
one more bit of info with you....
His name's not Reggie.
I don't know what made me do it, but
when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them
his name was Reggie.
He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it
and will respond to it, of that I have no
doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his
real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that
handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting
that I'd never see him again. And if I end up
coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it
me and everything's fine. But if someone else is
reading it, well ... well it means that his new owner should
know his real name. It'll help you bond with
him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change
in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.
His real name is "Tank".
Because that is what I drive.
Again, if you're reading this
and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the
news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make
"Reggie" available for adoption until they
received word from my company commander. See, my
parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've
left Tank with ... and it was my only real request of the
Army upon my deployment to Iraq , that they make one phone
call.. the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell
them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily,
my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon
was headed. He said he'd do it
personally. And if you're reading this, then
he made good on his word.
Well, this letter is getting downright depressing,
even though, frankly, I'm just
writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was
writing it for a wife and kids and family ... but still,
Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as
long as the Army has been my family.
And now I hope and pray that you
make him part of your family and that he will adjust and
come to love you the same way he loved me.
That unconditional love from a dog
is what I take with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do
something selfless, to protect innocent people from those
who would do terrible things ... and to keep those terrible
people from coming over here. If I have to give up Tank
in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He is
my example of service and of love. I hope I honored
him by my service to my country and comrades.
All right, that's enough.
I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at
the shelter. I don't think I'll say another
good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first
time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he
finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.
Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home,
and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.
Thank you,
Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______
I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope.
Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even
new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and
posthumously earning the Silver Star
when he gave his life to save three buddies.
Flags had been at half-mast all summer.
I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.
"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.
The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.
"C'mere boy."
He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on
the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head
tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.
"Tank," I whispered.
His tail swished.
I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each
time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture
relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood
him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried
my face into his scruff and hugged him.
"It's me now, Tank, just you and me.
Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and
licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball?"
His ears perked again..
"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"
Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.
And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.
###
###
They told me the big black Lab's name was Reggie,
as I looked at him lying in his pen.. The shelter was
clean, no-kill, and the people really friendly.
I'd only been in the area for six months, but everywhere
I went in the small college town, people were welcoming and open.
Everyone waves when you pass them on the street.
But something was still missing as I attempted to
settle in to my new life here, and I thought a dog
couldn't hurt. Give me someone to talk to.
And I had just seen Reggie's advertisement on the local
news. The shelter said they had received numerous
calls right after, but they said the people who had come
down to see him just didn't look like "Lab
people," whatever that meant. They must've thought I did.
But at first, I thought the shelter had misjudged me in giving me Reggie and his things,
which consisted of a dog pad, bag of toys almost all of which were brand new tennis
balls, his dishes, and a sealed letter from his previous owner. See, Reggie and I didn't really hit it off when we got home. We struggled for two weeks (which is how long the shelter told me to give him to adjust to his new home). Maybe it was the fact that I was trying to adjust, too.
Maybe we were too much alike.
For some reason, his stuff (except for the tennis balls --- he wouldn't go anywhere without two stuffed in his mouth) got tossed in with all of my other unpacked boxes.
I guess I didn't really think he'd need all his old stuff, that I'd get him new things once he
settled in. But it became pretty clear pretty soon that he wasn't going to.
I tried the normal commands the shelter told me he knew, ones like "sit" and "stay" and
"come" and "heel," and he'd follow them - when he felt like it.
He never really seemed to listen when I called his name --- sure, he'd look in my
direction after the fourth or fifth time I said it, but then he'd just go back to doing whatever.
When I'd ask again, you could almost see him sigh and then grudgingly obey.
This just wasn't going to work. He chewed a couple shoes and some unpacked boxes.
I was a little too stern with him and he resented it, I could tell.
The friction got so bad that I couldn't wait for the two
weeks to be up, and when it was, I was in full-on search
mode for my cell phone amid all of my unpacked stuff. I
remembered leaving it on the stack of boxes for the guest
room, but I also mumbled, rather cynically, that the
"damn dog probably hid it on me."
Finally I found it, but before I could punch up the
shelter's number, I also found his pad and other toys
from the shelter...I tossed the pad in Reggie's
direction and he snuffed it and wagged, some of the most
enthusiasm I'd seen since bringing him home. But
then I called, "Hey, Reggie, you like that? Come
here and I'll give you a treat." Instead, he sort of glanced
in my direction --- maybe "glared" is more accurate --- and
then gave a discontented sigh and flopped down .... with his back to me.
Well, that's not going to do it either, I thought. And I punched the shelter phone number.
But I hung up when I saw the sealed envelope.
I had completely forgotten about that, too.
"Okay, Reggie," I said out loud,
"let's see if your previous owner has any advice."
____________ _________ _________ _________
To
Whoever Gets My Dog:
Well, I can't say that I'm happy you're reading this, a letter I told the shelter
could only be opened by Reggie's new owner.
I'm not even happy writing it. If you're reading this,
it means I just got back from my last car ride with my Lab
after dropping him off at the shelter.
He knew something was different.
I have packed up his pad and toys before and set them by the back door before a trip,
but this time... it's like he knew something was wrong.
And something is wrong...which is why I have
to go to try to make it right.
So let me tell you about my Lab in the hopes that it
will help you bond with him and he with you.
First, he loves tennis balls.
The more the merrier. Sometimes I think he's part
squirrel, the way he hordes them. He usually always
has two in his mouth, and he tries to get a third in
there. Hasn't done it yet. Doesn't
matter where you throw them, he'll bound after it, so be
careful - really don't do it by any roads. I made
that mistake once, and it almost cost him dearly.
Next, commands. Maybe the shelter staff
already told you, but I'll go over them
again: Reggie knows the obvious ones ---
"sit," "stay," "come," "heel."
He knows hand signals:
"back" to turn around and go back when you put
your hand straight up; and "over" if you put your
hand out right or left. "Shake" for shaking
water off, and "paw" for a high-five. He
does "down" when he feels like lying down --- I bet
you could work on that with him some more. He knows
"ball" and "food" and "bone"
and "treat" like nobody's business.
I trained Reggie with small food treats.
Nothing opens his ears like little pieces of hot dog.
Feeding schedule: twice a day,
once about seven in the morning, and again at six in
the evening. Regular store-bought stuff; the shelter
has the brand.
He's up on his shots.
Call the clinic on 9th Street and update his info with
yours; they'll make sure to send you reminders for when
he's due. Be forewarned: Reggie hates the vet.
Good luck getting him in the car.
I don't know how he knows when it's time to go to the vet, but he knows.
Finally, give him some time.
I've never been married, so it's only been Reggie
and me for his whole life He's gone everywhere
with me, so please include him on your daily car rides if
you can. He sits well in the backseat, and he
doesn't bark or complain. He just loves to be
around people, and me most especially.
Which means that this transition is
going to be hard, with him going to live with someone new.
And that's why I need to share
one more bit of info with you....
His name's not Reggie.
I don't know what made me do it, but
when I dropped him off at the shelter, I told them
his name was Reggie.
He's a smart dog, he'll get used to it
and will respond to it, of that I have no
doubt. But I just couldn't bear to give them his
real name. For me to do that, it seemed so final, that
handing him over to the shelter was as good as me admitting
that I'd never see him again. And if I end up
coming back, getting him, and tearing up this letter, it
me and everything's fine. But if someone else is
reading it, well ... well it means that his new owner should
know his real name. It'll help you bond with
him. Who knows, maybe you'll even notice a change
in his demeanor if he's been giving you problems.
His real name is "Tank".
Because that is what I drive.
Again, if you're reading this
and you're from the area, maybe my name has been on the
news. I told the shelter that they couldn't make
"Reggie" available for adoption until they
received word from my company commander. See, my
parents are gone, I have no siblings, no one I could've
left Tank with ... and it was my only real request of the
Army upon my deployment to Iraq , that they make one phone
call.. the shelter ... in the "event" ... to tell
them that Tank could be put up for adoption. Luckily,
my colonel is a dog guy, too, and he knew where my platoon
was headed. He said he'd do it
personally. And if you're reading this, then
he made good on his word.
Well, this letter is getting downright depressing,
even though, frankly, I'm just
writing it for my dog. I couldn't imagine if I was
writing it for a wife and kids and family ... but still,
Tank has been my family for the last six years, almost as
long as the Army has been my family.
And now I hope and pray that you
make him part of your family and that he will adjust and
come to love you the same way he loved me.
That unconditional love from a dog
is what I take with me to Iraq as an inspiration to do
something selfless, to protect innocent people from those
who would do terrible things ... and to keep those terrible
people from coming over here. If I have to give up Tank
in order to do it, I am glad to have done so. He is
my example of service and of love. I hope I honored
him by my service to my country and comrades.
All right, that's enough.
I deploy this evening and have to drop this letter off at
the shelter. I don't think I'll say another
good-bye to Tank, though. I cried too much the first
time. Maybe I'll peek in on him and see if he
finally got that third tennis ball in his mouth.
Good luck with Tank. Give him a good home,
and give him an extra kiss goodnight - every night - from me.
Thank you,
Paul Mallory
____________ _________ _________ _______
I folded the letter and slipped it back in the envelope.
Sure I had heard of Paul Mallory, everyone in town knew him, even
new people like me. Local kid, killed in Iraq a few months ago and
posthumously earning the Silver Star
when he gave his life to save three buddies.
Flags had been at half-mast all summer.
I leaned forward in my chair and rested my elbows on my knees, staring at the dog.
"Hey, Tank," I said quietly.
The dog's head whipped up, his ears cocked and his eyes bright.
"C'mere boy."
He was instantly on his feet, his nails clicking on
the hardwood floor. He sat in front of me, his head
tilted, searching for the name he hadn't heard in months.
"Tank," I whispered.
His tail swished.
I kept whispering his name, over and over, and each
time, his ears lowered, his eyes softened, and his posture
relaxed as a wave of contentment just seemed to flood
him. I stroked his ears, rubbed his shoulders, buried
my face into his scruff and hugged him.
"It's me now, Tank, just you and me.
Your old pal gave you to me." Tank reached up and
licked my cheek. "So whatdaya say we play some ball?"
His ears perked again..
"Yeah? Ball? You like that? Ball?"
Tank tore from my hands and disappeared in the next room.
And when he came back, he had three tennis balls in his mouth.
###
Wednesday, September 29, 2010
Death to Dinosaurs
Death to dinosaurs is what I see
in my dreams, and it seems
fair to care why they die.
Large and leathery, wheezing,
stumbling, falling, and then
melting away. Vanishing.
They chased me, and I hid one of
the dogs they wanted to eat.
It felt like the right thing to do.
I don't know how to make sense
of these places, these dinosaur
faces, fading away over
entertainment centers.
They're random, they say.
They're the future, they say.
It's gray to me, and still it seems
to be something I somehow knew.
A place no less real than you.
In a land where dinosaurs die, or
tornadoes fly, or a land where
I'm still in school, how do I know
where my home is? What a home is?
What is true?
And if that passes as a home there, then
how do I remember to care? In those places,
with those faces. Fading. Dying now.
in my dreams, and it seems
fair to care why they die.
Large and leathery, wheezing,
stumbling, falling, and then
melting away. Vanishing.
They chased me, and I hid one of
the dogs they wanted to eat.
It felt like the right thing to do.
I don't know how to make sense
of these places, these dinosaur
faces, fading away over
entertainment centers.
They're random, they say.
They're the future, they say.
It's gray to me, and still it seems
to be something I somehow knew.
A place no less real than you.
In a land where dinosaurs die, or
tornadoes fly, or a land where
I'm still in school, how do I know
where my home is? What a home is?
What is true?
And if that passes as a home there, then
how do I remember to care? In those places,
with those faces. Fading. Dying now.
Thursday, September 23, 2010
The Wifers
Undeniably, the wifers runs the show. I don't mean in our marriage. I mean she runs the life show.
More than anybody I've ever been around, my other half controls her environment. It's really pretty impressive. She uses some unknown mind powers to get people to do whatever she wants, whenever she wants.
She's always been widely respected/feared at every job I've seen her have, and otherwise reasonable people seem horrified at the idea of letting her down. Back in the day, when we worked at Hardee's, if she was starting to get upset at a string of ridiculous orders or an incompetent co-worker, people would fly in from out of nowhere to help out. Even her bosses. It was very bizarre.
When I was 19, we were together for months before I even realized I was in a relationship. She told everyone I was dating her to help pay her bills. And, even though I clearly had no money, they believed her. I still don't know how she got me to ask her out. These days, she gets me to do things for her without ever asking. It's amazing, and I don't know how she does it.
One day, we were in our bedroom after a satisfying meal, and she said, "you know what sounds good?" And I said, "Andy's. I'll be right back." I had her hot fudge sundae with nuts before I knew what had happened.
If she wants wants me to turn the light off, she doesn't even have to say anyting. She simply makes a lazy wave of her hand, like a paw scratching, and I know that means it's time for lights out.
And the kids, don't get me started on the kids. Our boys will defend her to the death, even if I'm the one whose right. Somehow, our children have been raised to believe that fathers have to do anything mothers ask. And they have to be happy about it. I never taught them that! I try to tell them different, but they never listen.
Her genius does come with a few eccentricities. She puts her deodorant on in an unassailable ritual pattern that would humble even the most OCD person -- so many strokes, and just a certain way, but I don't try to understand. She arrives at work 30 minutes early come rain, snow or hail. I'm not sure why, but I think it's so she never feels any pressure to clock in.
The bottom line is, there is no sneaking up on her; she already knows you're there. You think you're watching the big game, then you're checking highlights online. She's been watching her shows, and you didn't even know. If she's cold, now you're cold. She's got your jacket.
It's incredible.
Today is her birthday. I would have a present for her, but I already told her she can buy whatever she wants. I don't know how that happened.
Happy Birthday, Valerie! I'm glad I'm on your side.
Thursday, September 9, 2010
Intro to Journalism
I was recently upset by reading an article titled "People, businesses sending messages," which appeared on Page 2 in the Aug. 25 issue of the Community Free Press. The story was centered around an anti-Obama billboard that a group of local brokers had recently put up. The article struck me as biased, and honestly, it pissed me off to read it.
Let me be clear, I wasn't upset to see the sentiments expressed. The core idea, or what I imagined the core idea to be, was a good one: local citizens spend their own money to make a political statement. What angered me was that it seemed almost the entire story was focused on the opinions of one broker. No opposing view from a local Democratic official. No feedback from people who had seen the sign. No reflections from a local political science professor about the larger political divide in America. Nothing. Almost as an afterthought, the story's author, James Hanson, spoke to the billboard company about whether or not these types of political billboards were becoming more popular. That was at the butt-end of the article.
Having once been bawled out by Bob Mace, CFP's columnist, for not offering enough opposing facts and figures when I covered a local meeting on Clean Energy development, a.k.a. "Cap and Trade" legislation, I thought I'd send Mace an e-mail about my negative reaction to Hanson's story. After a couple back and forths, I was surprised to find out that the man who had something like 30 years experience in the publishing business -- he manages the day-to-day operations of a national auto-parts magazine -- didn't have a problem with the article.
In fact, he went so far as to make complaints he'd heard about the piece the focus of his column in the CFP's current issue. I was stunned. And then, I was confused. In the column, ("Sign post" Page 6) he seemed to argue that A, opposing viewpoints were too obvious to seek or mention, and B, other news was more important.
What?!?
I had to steady myself. Some background: I worked for 2 1/2 years in the same building as Mace, and while I found him to be somewhat abrasive and quick-tempered, he was without question one of the smartest people I've ever met.
I couldn't understand why the man that had seemed so strict and fair-minded when I wrote a story about Clean Energy could be so dismissive of my charges of bias in what I thought was a clear example of a one-sided story.
In case you are wondering, Hanson had expressed to me before, on more than one occasion, that he was no longer a Democrat.
Without quoting a private e-mail, I can say that Mace had said my story dealt with the underlying issues behind Cap and Trade, and thus, it required a look at both sides. James' story was just about a sign people had seen.
So, I sought the opinion of one of my former professors, Dr. Andrew Cline. Cline is a Journalism professor at Missouri State, and two areas of his expertise include political rhetoric and media bias. I asked him to review Hanson's piece, as well as Mace's column, and comment on them. I told Cline I'd quote him in this post, but I thought his analysis was so on point that I decided to share the comments in full:
Hanson's article about the "Embarrassed Yet?" billboard is stenography, not reporting.
I think it is appropriate to cover the issue of using a billboard for civic commentary given the placement, the sponsorship, and the stated reasons for posting it. This billboard is basically a bumper sticker writ large. A good article could have answered such questions as: What does it mean to use a billboard this way? Who else is doing it? Who are the others involved in this billboard? What do other participants have to say? Is there a history of citizens using billboards this way or is this something new? What have the public reactions been? Any reaction from city officials and political candidates? How cost effective is a billboard for civic messages? Do experts believe such messages are productive? How might opposing people respond? What's Lamar's policy on political billboards? Any ironic reactions, i.e. agreeing Democrats or disagreeing Republicans?
Hanson, however, mostly gives Stephen Critchfield a generous opportunity to state opinions as facts. So much of the article is merely Critchfield complaining about Obama that it detracts from what the news really is -- the use of the billboard by private citizens for civic commentary. Such ham-handed reporting/writing heightens the importance of Critchfield's assertions so that they become the point of the article, not the billboard. And since Hanson does nothing to check Critchfield's assertions, the article has the feel of a rant dutifully recorded by a stenographer.
If you're going to quote then you've got to check. It's called the discipline of verification, and it is the very foundation of good journalism.
It doesn't take more than one, maybe two short quotes to demonstrate that Critchfield is unhappy with the Obama administration, thus establishing the reason for posting the billboard. Hanson would then have been able to more fully explore the real issue with the remaining column inches, including adding more voices pro, con, and complicated. That would have been interesting.
Bob Mace's reaction column demonstrates a fuzzy understanding of the craft/ethics of journalism. Contrary to Mace's opinion, Hanson should have offered an opposing voice the opportunity to react given how much of the article is about Critchfield's complaints. Mace asserts that the "story is the sign." Clearly not. Count the column inches. Fully half the story is about Critchfield's unchecked and unchallenged complaints about Obama.
This issue of using billboards for public commentary deserved better reporting. Hanson's effort would have earned a poor grade in my Introduction to Journalism class.
I don't to want to beat up on James, but in my opinion, his article stinks. Mace's defense of the stinky article only serves to support the alienation of fair-minded readers and make Mace look ignorant.
Knowing how smart Bob is, and knowing he had said he was an old poker buddy of Billy Long, I can't help but wonder if Mace is himself so "Fed Up" with the current administration that his own judgment is clouded on this issue.
I hope and pray that something Cline has said will encourage my former employer and co-workers to be more mindful of other points of view.
Let me be clear, I wasn't upset to see the sentiments expressed. The core idea, or what I imagined the core idea to be, was a good one: local citizens spend their own money to make a political statement. What angered me was that it seemed almost the entire story was focused on the opinions of one broker. No opposing view from a local Democratic official. No feedback from people who had seen the sign. No reflections from a local political science professor about the larger political divide in America. Nothing. Almost as an afterthought, the story's author, James Hanson, spoke to the billboard company about whether or not these types of political billboards were becoming more popular. That was at the butt-end of the article.
Having once been bawled out by Bob Mace, CFP's columnist, for not offering enough opposing facts and figures when I covered a local meeting on Clean Energy development, a.k.a. "Cap and Trade" legislation, I thought I'd send Mace an e-mail about my negative reaction to Hanson's story. After a couple back and forths, I was surprised to find out that the man who had something like 30 years experience in the publishing business -- he manages the day-to-day operations of a national auto-parts magazine -- didn't have a problem with the article.
In fact, he went so far as to make complaints he'd heard about the piece the focus of his column in the CFP's current issue. I was stunned. And then, I was confused. In the column, ("Sign post" Page 6) he seemed to argue that A, opposing viewpoints were too obvious to seek or mention, and B, other news was more important.
What?!?
I had to steady myself. Some background: I worked for 2 1/2 years in the same building as Mace, and while I found him to be somewhat abrasive and quick-tempered, he was without question one of the smartest people I've ever met.
I couldn't understand why the man that had seemed so strict and fair-minded when I wrote a story about Clean Energy could be so dismissive of my charges of bias in what I thought was a clear example of a one-sided story.
In case you are wondering, Hanson had expressed to me before, on more than one occasion, that he was no longer a Democrat.
Without quoting a private e-mail, I can say that Mace had said my story dealt with the underlying issues behind Cap and Trade, and thus, it required a look at both sides. James' story was just about a sign people had seen.
So, I sought the opinion of one of my former professors, Dr. Andrew Cline. Cline is a Journalism professor at Missouri State, and two areas of his expertise include political rhetoric and media bias. I asked him to review Hanson's piece, as well as Mace's column, and comment on them. I told Cline I'd quote him in this post, but I thought his analysis was so on point that I decided to share the comments in full:
Hanson's article about the "Embarrassed Yet?" billboard is stenography, not reporting.
I think it is appropriate to cover the issue of using a billboard for civic commentary given the placement, the sponsorship, and the stated reasons for posting it. This billboard is basically a bumper sticker writ large. A good article could have answered such questions as: What does it mean to use a billboard this way? Who else is doing it? Who are the others involved in this billboard? What do other participants have to say? Is there a history of citizens using billboards this way or is this something new? What have the public reactions been? Any reaction from city officials and political candidates? How cost effective is a billboard for civic messages? Do experts believe such messages are productive? How might opposing people respond? What's Lamar's policy on political billboards? Any ironic reactions, i.e. agreeing Democrats or disagreeing Republicans?
Hanson, however, mostly gives Stephen Critchfield a generous opportunity to state opinions as facts. So much of the article is merely Critchfield complaining about Obama that it detracts from what the news really is -- the use of the billboard by private citizens for civic commentary. Such ham-handed reporting/writing heightens the importance of Critchfield's assertions so that they become the point of the article, not the billboard. And since Hanson does nothing to check Critchfield's assertions, the article has the feel of a rant dutifully recorded by a stenographer.
If you're going to quote then you've got to check. It's called the discipline of verification, and it is the very foundation of good journalism.
It doesn't take more than one, maybe two short quotes to demonstrate that Critchfield is unhappy with the Obama administration, thus establishing the reason for posting the billboard. Hanson would then have been able to more fully explore the real issue with the remaining column inches, including adding more voices pro, con, and complicated. That would have been interesting.
Bob Mace's reaction column demonstrates a fuzzy understanding of the craft/ethics of journalism. Contrary to Mace's opinion, Hanson should have offered an opposing voice the opportunity to react given how much of the article is about Critchfield's complaints. Mace asserts that the "story is the sign." Clearly not. Count the column inches. Fully half the story is about Critchfield's unchecked and unchallenged complaints about Obama.
This issue of using billboards for public commentary deserved better reporting. Hanson's effort would have earned a poor grade in my Introduction to Journalism class.
I don't to want to beat up on James, but in my opinion, his article stinks. Mace's defense of the stinky article only serves to support the alienation of fair-minded readers and make Mace look ignorant.
Knowing how smart Bob is, and knowing he had said he was an old poker buddy of Billy Long, I can't help but wonder if Mace is himself so "Fed Up" with the current administration that his own judgment is clouded on this issue.
I hope and pray that something Cline has said will encourage my former employer and co-workers to be more mindful of other points of view.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
Modern Life
I died at the age of 68.
I was killed by commercials
and side-line reporters.
I died from a fear of death.
I rock'n rolled in quiet places,
and was killed by Pop Country.
Politicians stood over my dead
body and poked at it curiously
before remembering their luncheon
date.
I succumbed to 4 percent annual
returns, and the guy who laughed
in fresh bellows at nothing
particularly funny.
I died from instructions on cereal
boxes, and dogs that barked when
I strolled past their yards.
I died from the smell of make-up
and tampons.
I croaked from heartbreak at 13, 14,
15, 19, 32, 46, and 54.
Televangelists sitting in gold chairs
sealed my casket with hairspray
and lip gloss.
I died from working over grease
and under cars.
I died while watching my children die.
I died at the computer, under florescence,
in air-conditioning.
I was killed by long lines and waiting
while standing.
I died not knowing what I should have
known. I died having given less
than I could have.
I died from a panic of the heart.
A heart that knew what a good heart
should be.
I died like you'll die,
still and sober, without sound,
remembering none of these.
I was killed by commercials
and side-line reporters.
I died from a fear of death.
I rock'n rolled in quiet places,
and was killed by Pop Country.
Politicians stood over my dead
body and poked at it curiously
before remembering their luncheon
date.
I succumbed to 4 percent annual
returns, and the guy who laughed
in fresh bellows at nothing
particularly funny.
I died from instructions on cereal
boxes, and dogs that barked when
I strolled past their yards.
I died from the smell of make-up
and tampons.
I croaked from heartbreak at 13, 14,
15, 19, 32, 46, and 54.
Televangelists sitting in gold chairs
sealed my casket with hairspray
and lip gloss.
I died from working over grease
and under cars.
I died while watching my children die.
I died at the computer, under florescence,
in air-conditioning.
I was killed by long lines and waiting
while standing.
I died not knowing what I should have
known. I died having given less
than I could have.
I died from a panic of the heart.
A heart that knew what a good heart
should be.
I died like you'll die,
still and sober, without sound,
remembering none of these.
Friday, September 3, 2010
Laser focus
A lot of what keeps me from being successful as a writer are all the fantastic ideas I get. Each one seems to be better than the next, and none of them are related to each other.
If anyone ever stole my wallet, not only would that person be disappointed by the lack of money inside, but he or she would surely think I was crazy.
In my billfold, I have little pieces of paper with oddly coded phrases written on them. Each is meant to represent a certain artistic epiphany of mine. A thief with an intuitive gift or a disciplined approach to writing could easily lift a career off of me.
You see, after years of working overnights in a donut shop, I've grown tired of forgetting all of my brilliance when I wake up in the morning. My solution: write my little golden nuggets down. And I figured since I've always got my wallet with me, I can just stick them in there and they won't get washed in my shorts. That's right, I even have great ideas for my ideas.
So what's the problem? Why no riches, yet? It turns out my notes are no good. When I do remember the idea the words are supposed to represent, I can never figure out what I need to do next.
Here are some examples of things I've written down and placed next to my 2008 zoo pass:
The Reason for Showers. I'm pretty sure this was an idea for a sitcom about a young college guy and his search for love. Either that or I just made that up now.
Kissy, Kissy; Love letters. This is a website idea. I'd write fake love letters between celebrities and/or politicians. The best letters would come from people that cheat on their spouses. For example, love letters between Tiger Woods and his mistresses. This needs to be further developed.
National Diary. If I recall correctly, America, as a person, would write in her diary about all the things going on -- in her mind? -- in politics or pop culture. I imagine America to have a teenage girl's voice.
Poor Jesus. ???. I think it was about Jesus in today's world having a hard time finding people to follow him.
There's an Old Man Dying in Pueblo, Colorado. I think it's a book idea about an old man who has worked in a donut shop his whole life. It seems less exciting to think about now.
Making a Sketch Comedy Show. It's a sketch comedy about making a sketch comedy. Could be something, right?
"I'd like to believe God could forgive me for killing him." I thought this would be a good line for one of my characters someday.
Curious Humans. Website or TV show idea. It seemed great and entirely original until I realized I was thinking about old episodes of Third Rock from the Sun.
Dear lord, if I ever get robbed please let it be by a young, ambitious Hollywood director. I wonder if I can sell ideas online?
If anyone ever stole my wallet, not only would that person be disappointed by the lack of money inside, but he or she would surely think I was crazy.
In my billfold, I have little pieces of paper with oddly coded phrases written on them. Each is meant to represent a certain artistic epiphany of mine. A thief with an intuitive gift or a disciplined approach to writing could easily lift a career off of me.
You see, after years of working overnights in a donut shop, I've grown tired of forgetting all of my brilliance when I wake up in the morning. My solution: write my little golden nuggets down. And I figured since I've always got my wallet with me, I can just stick them in there and they won't get washed in my shorts. That's right, I even have great ideas for my ideas.
So what's the problem? Why no riches, yet? It turns out my notes are no good. When I do remember the idea the words are supposed to represent, I can never figure out what I need to do next.
Here are some examples of things I've written down and placed next to my 2008 zoo pass:
The Reason for Showers. I'm pretty sure this was an idea for a sitcom about a young college guy and his search for love. Either that or I just made that up now.
Kissy, Kissy; Love letters. This is a website idea. I'd write fake love letters between celebrities and/or politicians. The best letters would come from people that cheat on their spouses. For example, love letters between Tiger Woods and his mistresses. This needs to be further developed.
National Diary. If I recall correctly, America, as a person, would write in her diary about all the things going on -- in her mind? -- in politics or pop culture. I imagine America to have a teenage girl's voice.
Poor Jesus. ???. I think it was about Jesus in today's world having a hard time finding people to follow him.
There's an Old Man Dying in Pueblo, Colorado. I think it's a book idea about an old man who has worked in a donut shop his whole life. It seems less exciting to think about now.
Making a Sketch Comedy Show. It's a sketch comedy about making a sketch comedy. Could be something, right?
"I'd like to believe God could forgive me for killing him." I thought this would be a good line for one of my characters someday.
Curious Humans. Website or TV show idea. It seemed great and entirely original until I realized I was thinking about old episodes of Third Rock from the Sun.
Dear lord, if I ever get robbed please let it be by a young, ambitious Hollywood director. I wonder if I can sell ideas online?
Monday, August 23, 2010
The New Civil War
Lately, I've become somewhat addicted to reading the online comments attached to editorials in the News-Leader. I have the feeling it's bad for me, like crossing the road without looking, or watching The Bachelor Pad.
A number of those participating in the comment boards often seem to look for any excuse to pick a fight. In an 8-27 op-ed written by the Pulitzer-winning Kathleen Parker titled, "American Principles Lost in Mean-Spirited Rhetoric", the author's pleas for common courtesy were tossed aside immediately. From the word go, comments begin with the how-can-I-remain-calm-when-the-other-side-are-such-jerks game. The rules of the game, ironically, include a license to spew mean-spirited rhetoric.
And as much as I would like to see our local civic discourse not be bitter, hateful and polarizing, I just can't stop reading this stuff.
Look at the major issues of our day: Health care reform, gay marriage, the Gulf oil spill, government bailouts, new energy development, and on it goes. All of it the perfect battlefield for those with entrenched ideologies to throw grenades.
Mostly, it's the same crowd that shows up from day to day. Waving their banner in their enemies faces regardless of issue. And sometimes the fights go off into deep space where an onlooker like me can get lost in the reply to the reply to the sixth power.
I almost never leave a comment myself. It somehow seems more dignified to be a voyeur.
While the issues most often battled in the comment world are different enough to be kept separate, I'd like to point out that I think some similarities exist. Each fight, it its own way, can be boiled down to an argument between those who say they want to defend individual rights versus those who say they want to use government to promote what's best for society.
Healthcare: no individual mandates or gov't intrusion v. all pick a plan, and hold companies accountable to reduce prices.
Gov't bailouts: survival of the fittest v. save jobs and stop a tail-spinning economy.
New energy: let the market dictate prices v. subsidized renewable energy and penalties on others.
It's freedom and responsibility against safety nets and equality.
And many may not agree with how I have framed these arguments. But, talking objectively about such a polarized world isn't easy.
In an essay titled "The Policy Consequences of Partisan Polarization in the United States" written by Nolan McCarty, Academic Dean of the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University, McCarty says America's political divide has widened over the last 25 years.
In the essay he argues that the effects of this growing divide include:
(paraphrased)
1. Polarization causes legislative gridlock.
2. Polarization is not ideologically neutral; it leans conservative with regard to economic and social policy.
3. Polarization alters the balance of power in favor of the executive and legislative branches of government.
In short, political polarization makes Congress more ineffective and gives the President and federal judges more power.
I wonder if any of this would influence the boys and girls of the opinion comment-land to play fair in discussions of policy matters. Doubtful.
And like the onlookers at Fort Sumter, I'll be there to watch.
A number of those participating in the comment boards often seem to look for any excuse to pick a fight. In an 8-27 op-ed written by the Pulitzer-winning Kathleen Parker titled, "American Principles Lost in Mean-Spirited Rhetoric", the author's pleas for common courtesy were tossed aside immediately. From the word go, comments begin with the how-can-I-remain-calm-when-the-other-side-are-such-jerks game. The rules of the game, ironically, include a license to spew mean-spirited rhetoric.
And as much as I would like to see our local civic discourse not be bitter, hateful and polarizing, I just can't stop reading this stuff.
Look at the major issues of our day: Health care reform, gay marriage, the Gulf oil spill, government bailouts, new energy development, and on it goes. All of it the perfect battlefield for those with entrenched ideologies to throw grenades.
Mostly, it's the same crowd that shows up from day to day. Waving their banner in their enemies faces regardless of issue. And sometimes the fights go off into deep space where an onlooker like me can get lost in the reply to the reply to the sixth power.
I almost never leave a comment myself. It somehow seems more dignified to be a voyeur.
While the issues most often battled in the comment world are different enough to be kept separate, I'd like to point out that I think some similarities exist. Each fight, it its own way, can be boiled down to an argument between those who say they want to defend individual rights versus those who say they want to use government to promote what's best for society.
Healthcare: no individual mandates or gov't intrusion v. all pick a plan, and hold companies accountable to reduce prices.
Gov't bailouts: survival of the fittest v. save jobs and stop a tail-spinning economy.
New energy: let the market dictate prices v. subsidized renewable energy and penalties on others.
It's freedom and responsibility against safety nets and equality.
And many may not agree with how I have framed these arguments. But, talking objectively about such a polarized world isn't easy.
In an essay titled "The Policy Consequences of Partisan Polarization in the United States" written by Nolan McCarty, Academic Dean of the Woodrow Wilson School of Public and International Affairs at Princeton University, McCarty says America's political divide has widened over the last 25 years.
In the essay he argues that the effects of this growing divide include:
(paraphrased)
1. Polarization causes legislative gridlock.
2. Polarization is not ideologically neutral; it leans conservative with regard to economic and social policy.
3. Polarization alters the balance of power in favor of the executive and legislative branches of government.
In short, political polarization makes Congress more ineffective and gives the President and federal judges more power.
I wonder if any of this would influence the boys and girls of the opinion comment-land to play fair in discussions of policy matters. Doubtful.
And like the onlookers at Fort Sumter, I'll be there to watch.
Thursday, August 5, 2010
The Dope Party
For awhile now, I've been wanting to do a story on what people who are opposed to "Obamacare" think about the war on drugs.
In my mind, it follows that those who complain about the federal government overreaching it's authority when it comes to health care might also have a problem with Big Brother throwing people in jail for what they choose to do with their own bodies.
But, I need to talk to those people. And I need to do research. But with my pizza and donut gigs in full swing, I can't invest the amount of time I need to without some media organization funding the venture. I need to know, at least, that they may purchase my brilliant story if I write it. So, this morning I e-mailed one of the editors at the News-Leader with my idea. Here's my pitch:
Hello, this is Brian Brown. I'm the former associate editor of the Community Free Press, and the local freelance writer that recently penned the Shootout for Autism piece published in the N-L's Christian County editions.
I've got a question that only a journalist can answer: What do members of the Tea Party movement think about the nation's war on drugs?
With all the talk about enumerated powers in the run-up to the vote on Prop C, I began to wonder what strict Constitutionalists thought about the "war" that is costing the government -- according the director of Harvard's undergraduate studies -- $70 billion a year.
The prohibition of alcohol required Congress to amend the Constitution. Why didn't the prohibition of marijuana or other recreational drugs have to take a similar path?
It's no secret that Libertarians generally favor ending the war on drugs, but what do Tea Partiers think? It's a question I'd love to explore. Please let me know if you are interested; all I need is one week to put together a fantastic piece. Thanks for your time.
--Brian
Wish me luck.
In my mind, it follows that those who complain about the federal government overreaching it's authority when it comes to health care might also have a problem with Big Brother throwing people in jail for what they choose to do with their own bodies.
But, I need to talk to those people. And I need to do research. But with my pizza and donut gigs in full swing, I can't invest the amount of time I need to without some media organization funding the venture. I need to know, at least, that they may purchase my brilliant story if I write it. So, this morning I e-mailed one of the editors at the News-Leader with my idea. Here's my pitch:
Hello, this is Brian Brown. I'm the former associate editor of the Community Free Press, and the local freelance writer that recently penned the Shootout for Autism piece published in the N-L's Christian County editions.
I've got a question that only a journalist can answer: What do members of the Tea Party movement think about the nation's war on drugs?
With all the talk about enumerated powers in the run-up to the vote on Prop C, I began to wonder what strict Constitutionalists thought about the "war" that is costing the government -- according the director of Harvard's undergraduate studies -- $70 billion a year.
The prohibition of alcohol required Congress to amend the Constitution. Why didn't the prohibition of marijuana or other recreational drugs have to take a similar path?
It's no secret that Libertarians generally favor ending the war on drugs, but what do Tea Partiers think? It's a question I'd love to explore. Please let me know if you are interested; all I need is one week to put together a fantastic piece. Thanks for your time.
--Brian
Wish me luck.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Proposition Politics
On Aug. 3, voters in Missouri will decide whether or not to support The Health Care Freedom Act, also known as Proposition C. The ballot measure is largely symbolic, drafted by conservative legislators to "send a message" to Washington. That message, and I'm paraphrasing here, is 'we don't like your stinkin' health care reform.'
The measure would change Missouri statutes to block penalties associated with the Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act (PPACA). The proposition, it's worth noting, is thought to be symbolic because the courts generally rule that federal law trumps state law.
However, as this article points out, many Tea Partiers and Repeal Obamacare-ists from around the country will likely be energized if Prop C passes by a large margin in Missouri.
As many know by now, the aforementioned PPACA will eventually penalize citizens for not purchasing health insurance.
In the April 7 edition of the Community Free Press, I put together a "Health care timeline" that details when different parts of the law are scheduled to go into effect. The penalties, if you are curious, are as follows:
In 2014, those without health insurance will be subject to a fine of $95; in 2015, that fine becomes $325; and in 2016, citizens will face a penalty of $695 or up to 2.5 percent of their income. Mandatory employer-provided coverage for companies with 50 employees or more begins in 2014. Such companies can opt to pay a fine instead, which would vary based on the number of employees it has.
Of course, those persons already with insurance and companies that provide coverage before the deadlines will not face a penalty.
It is also important to point out a couple of facts about the PPACA.
One, Medicaid eligibility will increase under the reforms. Those with incomes up to 133 percent of the federal poverty level (FPL) will be eligible for Medicaid in 2014, and for the first time, that includes adults without children.
Two, beginning in 2014, those who earn between 133 and 400 percent of the FPL will be eligible for tax credits based on a sliding scale. That means if you earn up to 4 times the federal poverty level you will be eligible for help to pay for insurance.
Three, in that same year, insurers will no longer be able to refuse to sell or
renew policies because of an individual’s health status. Also, health plans will be prohibited from imposing annual limits on coverage.
Four, the PPACA is expected to reduce the federal budget deficit by 2020, according to the Congressional Budget Office. This CBS article lists some other features of the reforms, as well as how the government will pay for the plan. Taxes on tanning are part of it.
If you are hoping to vote for state rights on Aug. 3 and "send a message" to Washington, you may want to remember that states themselves have already shown they can penalize citizens for not purchasing insurance. Have you ever had to prove that you had car insurance to renew your tags? To be fair, I guess no one is fined for not purchasing a car.
According to the official ballot language, Prop C is estimated to have no immediate cost or savings to state or local government entities. However, "because of the uncertain interaction of the proposal with implementation of the federal Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act, future costs to state governmental entities are unknown."
The impact of a Prop C victory is, similarly, up in the air.
Just thought you should know.
Friday, July 2, 2010
One decade ago
Andrew is a good, good boy. Yes he is.
When Andrew was a baby we would sing to him the "Good, good boy" song, which his mother must have penned in a peaceful moment between contractions. We sang that song right from the beginning. It always fit.
He got really sick once as a toddler. He had RSV, which is a common virus that can lead to cold-like symptoms in adults. But for babies, it can be serious. And for Andrew, it was.
While his temperature danced around 104, a nice nurse at Cox North recommended we request a transfer; she worried he wouldn't get the attention he'd need away from the specialists at Cox South. I rode with him on my lap in the ambulance. I don't ever remember feeling more vulnerable. I believe he spent five days in the hospital altogether. By chance or by force of will, he made it through.
And ever since, he's been on the move.
These days, Andrew seems to love all foods, all sports, and all music. He appears to be especially talented at swimming, riding his rip-stick, and singing. When we sing songs in the car, Andy is the one who is on key.
Andrew is known for always wearing his heart on his sleeve. He yells the loudest when he's hurt, but he also laughs the hardest. When I took him to the arcade today, he gave his little brother all of the toys he won.
He's a surprisingly bright kid, too. As a 4-year-old, his questions were always the toughest to answer.
Today, Andrew turns 10. I have to say it has been really fun watching him grow into such a smart, caring and active young man.
After he was born, he was released from the hospital on the 4th of July. In his first night at home, he fell asleep in his bed to the distant sound of fireworks. And, fittingly, the sound of a mother's new song.
We love ya, buddy. Happy Birthday!
Monday, June 28, 2010
Local, organic and now
Editor's note: The following story is one that I had hoped to get published locally. While several groups seemed interested in it, ultimately, no one purchased it. So, I'm running it here. Enjoy.
By Brian Brown
(Springfield, Mo.) The organic trend has found a home in the Ozarks, and if Pauly Allen has anything to say about it, it is here to stay.
Allen is the co-owner of Total Organix, a Springfield-based organic food distributor. He runs the business with the help of Shimon Lynch, who owns Stepping Stone Farms Produce and is a longtime devotee of the organic lifestyle. Lynch coordinates produce purchases from a diverse network of local and national organic food producers. Allen, an executive chef and former owner of The Barefoot Chef in Ozark, works directly with customers. Together, their company supplies organic produce to restaurants and grocery stores in the region and individual homes in Springfield, Ozark and Nixa.
Allen says he hopes the company can encourage people to incorporate more natural foods into their everyday diets.
“I lost 70 pounds by simply changing my lifestyle and eating more naturally,” Allen said.
He says he eats a roughly 80/20 mix of organic and non-organic foods, and the changes he’s seen in himself have made him passionate about spreading the news to others. That includes members of his family.
Healthy choices
Allen said his niece was facing lymph node surgery at the age of 4, and he believes her body was having problems processing the chemically altered foods she was eating. Since she has began eating organic foods, he says she’s back to being a healthy kid.
“I didn’t want her to be living that life,” he said. “And she is doing great now.”
And apparently, she is not the only one benefitting from an organic diet. He said many of the individuals in the Springfield area who have been ordering his produce online at www.totalorganix.com have told him they are turning to organic foods for health reasons.
“We have the most amazing customers,” he said. “We know that what we are doing is bigger than ourselves.”
He said several of his customers have said they are battling cancer. One, in particular, told Allen that a doctor said he had nine months to live. That was two years ago.
Allen was quick to say that he believed in traditional medicine and the work that doctors do, but that he felt diet plays an important role in maximizing any one individual’s health. Fresh, organically grown papaya, for example, gives the body the enzymes it needs to properly digest meats, Allen said.
One of Total Organix’s customers is Bill Griffiths, owner of Farmer’s Gastropub in downtown Springfield. Griffiths said he has purchased produce through the company for both himself and his business. Farmers Gastropub is a restaurant that specializes in serving locally grown organic foods.
Since Farmers opened seven months ago, Griffiths said he has lost 40 lbs.
“I tell patrons that it is dangerous to eat here because then their bodies will know what real food is,” Griffiths said.
Griffiths, like Allen, said that locally grown organic produce is the best because its fresh and it hasn’t been sprayed with pesticides or chemically altered to look big and fresh.
“Organic produce may not be as super huge as something you may see at the store, but if you come into my kitchen and pick up a tomato, you can smell it. It still has that tomato smell,” Griffiths said.
He said the glaze on many store-bought tomatoes covers their smell and changes their taste.
“[By eating organic foods] you are not putting poison into your body, and your body will start to recognize real food again,” Griffiths said.
The company
Allen said his company has been up and running since February. Its website, www.totalorganix.com, offers three basic packages for individual customers:
• Little Lauren, $28
• Da N Between, $38
• Fat Cat, $54.
Each offers a mix of organically grown fruits and veggies, with larger quantities and variety coming in the more expensive packages.
He said he delivers the packages to customers personally, and his busiest week saw 31 orders. He said 40 orders means the company breaks even with marketing expenses, 60 means things are cruising along, and at 120, Allen and Lynch can begin to invest more money into their company.
“And 200 orders would be optimus prime,” Allen said.
He said Farmer’s is the company’s only restaurant customer, but he does have other business partners including three grocery stores in Northwest Arkansas.
He says a goal of the company to keep prices comparable to non-organic produce, which is often less expensive.
“Our passion is to touch everyone and offer organic produce at a fair price.”
One way it does that is by renting its warehouse space. By not buying or building its own warehouse, Allen said the company’s start-up cost were relatively low.
Laura Killingsworth, Springfield, said she saw an ad in the paper and decided to place an order.
“I thought it would be fun to have fruit and vegetables delivered to my house,” Killingsworth said in an e-mail. “We got the Little Lauren, just to try it out and we've been eating it all week. I thought the quality was really good, and the oranges were exceptional.”
The big picture
According to Allen, there is currently a need for more local organic farmers. He said this winter he had to purchase much of his produce from reliable sources he knows in California.
He said he recently helped a local Amish farmer build three-hoop houses, so that the farmer could grow food in the winter.
“I hope there are more farmers that switch to organic produce so that I never have to buy from outside Missouri,” he said.
According to the Organic Trade Association, U.S. sales of organic foods and beverages have gone from $1 billion in sales in 1990 to an estimated $20 billion in 2007. And sales of organic products are expected to continue to grow.
Allen said the national trend is just beginning to get its footing locally. He said until recently, there just hasn’t been enough demand for local organic products.
He said he hopes to see more local grocery stores offer local produce sections, and more local restaurants offering locally grown menu items. He has even coined a name for a possible local eatery program: Fresh Fridays. Allen said he read about a restaurant in Joplin that shops at its area farmer’s market and devotes a portion of its menu to foods produced from local farmers. Allen said he thinks a similar effort in Springfield would be popular.
Besides being a healthy option, Griffiths said buying locally grown foods is good for the economy. He said Missouri used to export more food than it imported, and now the imbalance is skewed the wrong way.
“There’s no reason we can’t redress that imbalance and take time to invest in local agriculture.”
Allen says he thinks what he and others are doing to promote locally grown organic foods is catching on.
“I think what we are doing is coming; I think what we’re doing is not so weird anymore.”
For more information about Total Organix or to place an order, call 417-233-1232 or e-mail totalorganix@gmail.com.
Box
Head: Company Profile
Name: Total Organix
Owners: Pauly Allen and Shimon Lynch
Background: Allen was an executive chef that worked on yachts before moving to the area and opening The Barefoot Chef in Ozark. Until recently, Lynch worked as an organic farmer for Stepping Stone farms for several years while living in a Christian-based commune in Weaubleau, Mo.
In business since: February 2010
Who they serve: Individuals, restaurants and grocery stores in the Ozarks that are interested in having organic food delivered to their homes or businesses.
Phone: 417-233-1232
Website: www.totalorganix.com
Sunday, June 13, 2010
Calendars
We are 75 calendars.
We are disease and injury.
We are cause and effect.
We are cartilage and skin.
We are memories of what we were.
Dolphin tattoos, bushy eyebrows,
microwave meals, slow kisses.
We are March, April and June.
We are Wednesday morning and
Friday evening.
We are 34 and 23 calendars.
We are sister and father
and teacher, lunch lady,
custodian.
We are 68 and 52 calendars.
99, 4, 41, 65.
We are Christmas, and
Thanksgiving and
2:30 p.m. Central Standard.
We are now, and only ever now.
We are thought, and still,
much less than we imagine.
We are disease and injury.
We are cause and effect.
We are cartilage and skin.
We are memories of what we were.
Dolphin tattoos, bushy eyebrows,
microwave meals, slow kisses.
We are March, April and June.
We are Wednesday morning and
Friday evening.
We are 34 and 23 calendars.
We are sister and father
and teacher, lunch lady,
custodian.
We are 68 and 52 calendars.
99, 4, 41, 65.
We are Christmas, and
Thanksgiving and
2:30 p.m. Central Standard.
We are now, and only ever now.
We are thought, and still,
much less than we imagine.
Wednesday, June 2, 2010
Fish tales
I have a fish tale to tell, and I'm not lying. Barump, bump.
I have an article in the current issue of the Community Free Press on Glen Andrews, a bass fisherman that several of the sport's most prominent personalities say is the best there ever was.
The story turned out well, and I was glad to see it wasn't messed with in editing. Andrews, and his son, who co-authored the book about Glen's fishing life, were great to meet. I think their story is really interesting even if your not hooked on the fishing. Barump, bump.
Anyway, check it out or read this ESPN article to learn more.
I have an article in the current issue of the Community Free Press on Glen Andrews, a bass fisherman that several of the sport's most prominent personalities say is the best there ever was.
The story turned out well, and I was glad to see it wasn't messed with in editing. Andrews, and his son, who co-authored the book about Glen's fishing life, were great to meet. I think their story is really interesting even if your not hooked on the fishing. Barump, bump.
Anyway, check it out or read this ESPN article to learn more.
Monday, May 31, 2010
Thursday, May 20, 2010
Spring of hope, winter of despair
Dickens said "it was the best of times, it was the worst of times," and for all I know he could've been talking about my life over the last few weeks.
For me, leaving the Community Free Press has been a humbling, and yet blessed experience. We've been so broke and I have been pretty stressed, but walking through it I have been able to see and feel a tremendous amount of support from my family and friends that I wouldn't have known was there otherwise.
Today, in particular, has been pretty good.
I finally saw my SN-L byline. The autism fundraising story I penned, or as I like to say, wroteded, is now up on the News-Leader website. I was told it would first run in the Christian County edition of the paper, and then I would see it in the daily N-L after May 19. I haven't pulled it from the stands yet, so I am still looking forward to that. As a writer and someone that has lived in Springfield most of my life, I have to say it is feels pretty rewarding to see my story hitting the pages of the paper I've read since I was 9.
But also, I'm very proud of a couple of things in CFP's most recent issue. Dale Isackson, a.k.a. The Jeweler, wrote what amounts to my first fan letter. It's on Page 6. I had interviewed Isackson for the "15 minutes with" feature in the previous issue.
Then on Page 8, there's the Garden Cafe story, which features another local family that is living with autism. And on Page 10 is one of my favorite stories ever. In it, I interviewed Howard Hufford, a Korean War veteran, and he talked about the work he and his wife have done to teach others flag etiquette and history.
So things are turning up roses, I guess. I thought I was ushering in a new age of foolishness, but perhaps it's a glorious new age of wisdom. Sorry Dickens, but it's feast or famine around here. Before you know it I'll be blubbering in my ice cream about my "great new job" selling cars. When does the age of manageable malaise begin?
Sunday, May 9, 2010
Happy Mother's Day
Hizzle Mizzles Dizzle! That's urban for, well, you know.
It's Mother's Day. The day our culture has set aside to honor the mothers in our lives. It seems almost silly to single out just one day for moms, but actually, I think it's a good idea.
Why?
In order to write this I had to stop what I would otherwise be doing, which in my case was going to bed, and think about my relationship with my mom. My mom is a funny lady; not odd, but witty. She is emotional and empathetic. Independent, but family-oriented. Ever since I told her I was looking for a job she has e-mailed me tips for writers and freelancers that she's found online. Her greatest quality may be that she always lives her life in the moment-- this makes her pretty fun to be around. When she's in town, I never know what we are going to do. She is prone to long drives and comfort foods.
As I thought about her, I began to think about my wife's relationship with our kids, my step-mom, my mother-in-law and a few of the other mothers I know. Turns out, I know a lot of moms.
Then I thought about my dad's mom. Her name was Janie. And my mom's mom. Her name was Ginny. They're both gone now.
I saw Grandma Ginny before she died. She was an amazing artist. I can imagine her humming while playing cards or rocking in a rocking chair. The last time I saw my Grandma Janie she was down from Kansas City for my high school graduation. When I would visit her she would always make me french toast, which was my favorite.
Today, a lot of us will rush to the store to buy a last-minute gift. We'll fight with traffic and pick over the pre-packaged candies and flowers at the discount store before we tap our feet impatiently while we wait in line.
Don't. Instead take a moment to think about why that stuff has any meaning.
My mom's name is Katy Baker. Today, I want to thank her for e-mails. I appreciate the tips, mom. I hope all is well in Iowa.
Monday, May 3, 2010
Leaving the nest
Today I cleaned out my desk at CFP. I've been leaving for around a month now, and it hasn't been easy; I've been trying to shepherd good stories and tie loose ends along the way. But now, it's official: I need a job.
I'm working at my old haunt, LaMar's Donuts, and seeking to dominate the freelance landscape. I've done a terrible job thus far, and am really hoping my luck turns around soon. My goal is to land a 40-hour per week job that earns around $30K. It needs to be something that utilizes my unusual skill set, and makes me feel like I'm making a difference in whatever community it serves. I want to find it this year. I may be dreaming. In the meantime, I'm looking for a part-time day job to compliment the donut gig.
If you know of anything, feel free to help a brother. My wings are stiff and flappy.
Tuesday, April 27, 2010
Springfield's Best
At some point here, someone has to step up and hire the best reporter in Springfield. I'm sick of being the best donut finisher.
Doubting the reporter claim? Allow me to make my case.
Exhibit A: Hammons hotel project. I've done several stories on the Embassy Suites hotel slated for the 1.7 acre piece of land next to the Expo Center. The first of which was part of a larger failed projects story which appeared in CFP's June 17-30, 2009 issue. Hammons wouldn't talk with me, but Mary Lilly Smith did. And when I did the follow up in December, Hammons did speak. Nobody did a story until after his second missed deadline and then there wasn't any background provided. Hammons holds all the cards on this thing; He manages the Expo, and Smith said herself that was a big advantage when he was competing with other developers for the bid. The question nobody is asking: What incentive does Hammons have to compete with University Plaza? At least one developer said Hammons will never build a hotel on the site. Where's the local media on this?
Exhibit B: Becky Spence. The former owner of the Arbor Hotel may be an unsympathetic figure to many that remember her run-down downtown temp apartments, but Spence does have rights. When City Utilities wanted to take her property to build a new, and many feel unnecessary, bus terminal on her St. Louis St. lot, it seemed no one wanted to cover the story. I did. Read the first installment here. And then again when she proposed her new hotel, here. Her public announcement of plans led to concerns from City Council and CU dropping the eminent domain push. To my knowledge, I am the only one to also do a follow-up on her project, here.
For those still reading, I've also done a sweet NIMBY, a sweet voter's guide, and the best teaser ever: "Rowe, Rowe, Rowe, then Moats."
So, where's the trophy? I've got my speech ready. I'm planning on taking a page from Terrill Owens, "I'd like to thank my hands for being so awesome."
Why all the machismo? I need a jobby job. Get it together people. I'm laying it down over here.
Monday, April 12, 2010
Last word on health care
In the current issue of the Community Free Press, I examined the ups and downs, and the ins and outs of The Patient Protection and Affordable Care Act.
It was a monster. But it was a good experience.
Over the last year, I've posted several pieces about possible reform measures on my blog, and my latest story at CFP was my third on the subject. But until recently, no one could say with certainty what the legislation would look like as law. Now we can.
I've read more stories about health care lately than I care to remember. A lot of it was useless crapola full of misinformation. Hopefully, the article does a good job of summarizing the most important facts. I also hope -- as my former professor Dr. Cline would so often say -- it meets the primary purpose of journalism: to give readers the information they need to be free and self-governing.
One website that was a great help to me was www.kff.org. The Kaiser Family Foundation is a non-partisan, non-profit group that looks at health care legislation. On its web site, there is a complete timeline that details when provisions of the reforms are scheduled to be implemented. I encourage anyone who wants to learn more to read the CFP article or check out KFF.
It was a monster. But it was a good experience.
Over the last year, I've posted several pieces about possible reform measures on my blog, and my latest story at CFP was my third on the subject. But until recently, no one could say with certainty what the legislation would look like as law. Now we can.
I've read more stories about health care lately than I care to remember. A lot of it was useless crapola full of misinformation. Hopefully, the article does a good job of summarizing the most important facts. I also hope -- as my former professor Dr. Cline would so often say -- it meets the primary purpose of journalism: to give readers the information they need to be free and self-governing.
One website that was a great help to me was www.kff.org. The Kaiser Family Foundation is a non-partisan, non-profit group that looks at health care legislation. On its web site, there is a complete timeline that details when provisions of the reforms are scheduled to be implemented. I encourage anyone who wants to learn more to read the CFP article or check out KFF.
Saturday, April 10, 2010
Weary travelers
Welcome unbelievers. Enter beds.
Familiar pillows, shaded room.
Let your eyes close over muted
advertisement. Ticking clock.
The weight of the road hangs
on your suntanned shoulders.
Set the money down.
Release the memories of chances lost.
A time for us? For stories?
A walking toddler ignored.
A crying toddler ignored.
Weighted shoulders.
A blurred fan buzzes around
itself, tricking my eyes,
tugging a memory from childhood.
A young plea to the Mighty Christ:
never forget I believe today.
I joined you years ago.
We walk and sing no songs.
Stop. Grab the baby.
Feel the breeze. Rest.
Familiar pillows, shaded room.
Let your eyes close over muted
advertisement. Ticking clock.
The weight of the road hangs
on your suntanned shoulders.
Set the money down.
Release the memories of chances lost.
A time for us? For stories?
A walking toddler ignored.
A crying toddler ignored.
Weighted shoulders.
A blurred fan buzzes around
itself, tricking my eyes,
tugging a memory from childhood.
A young plea to the Mighty Christ:
never forget I believe today.
I joined you years ago.
We walk and sing no songs.
Stop. Grab the baby.
Feel the breeze. Rest.
Friday, April 9, 2010
Leaving on a Jet Plane or Free Fallin'
If you are one of my Facebook friends, you may already know that I've decided to leave the Community Free Press. Including my internship, I've been there 2 1/2 years.
I have nothing negative to say about my experience.
I'm very proud of much of the work I've done in that time, and I will continue to be grateful to the Langsfords for giving me a chance to write for money. I've also developed some friendships there that couldn't have happened anywhere else, so I will take what I can from this -- but, it is time to move on.
I've told everyone, including myself, that I am going to become a freelance writer. However, I'm not sure how realistic I'm being. The journalism market is scary. One of my fellow staffers, Fines Massey, who himself is leaving to take a Census job, was told one paper he recently applied for in St. James had 87 applicants for its one open position.
I've picked up around 30 hours at my old haunt LaMar's Donuts, and I'm just hoping that some opportunities pop up. This may be the riskiest thing I've ever done. All I can really say is that the political season is starting, and it just felt like the right time to leave.
The April 21 issue will be my last issue. I am grateful for all of the people in our community that took the time to answer questions from me over the last couple of years. I sincerely hope that I treated you fairly.
Well, before this sounds entirely cheesy and sappy, I'll sign off. I'm stepping out the door and heading into my last day. After today, I'm just a donut man. Dear lord, somebody hire me!
I have nothing negative to say about my experience.
I'm very proud of much of the work I've done in that time, and I will continue to be grateful to the Langsfords for giving me a chance to write for money. I've also developed some friendships there that couldn't have happened anywhere else, so I will take what I can from this -- but, it is time to move on.
I've told everyone, including myself, that I am going to become a freelance writer. However, I'm not sure how realistic I'm being. The journalism market is scary. One of my fellow staffers, Fines Massey, who himself is leaving to take a Census job, was told one paper he recently applied for in St. James had 87 applicants for its one open position.
I've picked up around 30 hours at my old haunt LaMar's Donuts, and I'm just hoping that some opportunities pop up. This may be the riskiest thing I've ever done. All I can really say is that the political season is starting, and it just felt like the right time to leave.
The April 21 issue will be my last issue. I am grateful for all of the people in our community that took the time to answer questions from me over the last couple of years. I sincerely hope that I treated you fairly.
Well, before this sounds entirely cheesy and sappy, I'll sign off. I'm stepping out the door and heading into my last day. After today, I'm just a donut man. Dear lord, somebody hire me!
Wednesday, April 7, 2010
Citation Nation or A Tangled Web We Weave
The funny thing about hyperlinks is they can bring a whole new dimension to one's meaning, as well as one's understanding.
If you took the time to follow the hyperlinks in the previous paragraph you found: 1. When you clicked on "hyperlinks" you were magically transported to a website that featured a Buddhist temple made out of beer bottles. And 2. When you clicked on "one's understanding" you traveled to a website that featured an article that examined the relationship between Glenn Beck, his big, fat mouth, and social justice.
If you've followed the hyperlink in the second paragraph you likely think: 1. Brian's made a mistake. Or 2. What?! If you only followed the first hyperlink, and not the other two, you may think this is a normal blog post.
For those who didn't follow any hyperlink, let me explain. 1. The first hyperlink did in fact magically transport you to a site that featured a Buddhist temple made out of beer bottles. Heineken, actually. And 2. I deceived you. The second hyperlink sent you to a site that claimed all who visited the site are now atheists. Which is just funny.
In fact, the third link in the second paragraph examined the relationship between Glenn Beck, his big, fat mouth, and social justice.
The point is the words I highlight for links aren't necessarily connected to the sites in which the reader magically transports. However, if one was the impressionable type, and one "took the time" to follow the "hyperlinks," it may have contributed to "one's understanding." If you are stoic and hard to impress, well, that's cool I guess.
If you took the time to follow the hyperlinks in the previous paragraph you found: 1. When you clicked on "hyperlinks" you were magically transported to a website that featured a Buddhist temple made out of beer bottles. And 2. When you clicked on "one's understanding" you traveled to a website that featured an article that examined the relationship between Glenn Beck, his big, fat mouth, and social justice.
If you've followed the hyperlink in the second paragraph you likely think: 1. Brian's made a mistake. Or 2. What?! If you only followed the first hyperlink, and not the other two, you may think this is a normal blog post.
For those who didn't follow any hyperlink, let me explain. 1. The first hyperlink did in fact magically transport you to a site that featured a Buddhist temple made out of beer bottles. Heineken, actually. And 2. I deceived you. The second hyperlink sent you to a site that claimed all who visited the site are now atheists. Which is just funny.
In fact, the third link in the second paragraph examined the relationship between Glenn Beck, his big, fat mouth, and social justice.
The point is the words I highlight for links aren't necessarily connected to the sites in which the reader magically transports. However, if one was the impressionable type, and one "took the time" to follow the "hyperlinks," it may have contributed to "one's understanding." If you are stoic and hard to impress, well, that's cool I guess.
Sunday, March 28, 2010
Monday, March 22, 2010
Health care fun
During the next week I am going to be learning everything I can about the health care reform that was just passed in the House. I've read several articles to this point, and this one from the WSJ, and the Q&A from The New York Times have been the most informative.
I encourage anyone who has questions or concerns about the legislation to contact me by e-mail at bbrownspfd@yahoo.com. I will try to answer as many questions as I can.
I encourage anyone who has questions or concerns about the legislation to contact me by e-mail at bbrownspfd@yahoo.com. I will try to answer as many questions as I can.
Monday, March 1, 2010
Trusting strangers
Today I went back to work after a week of vacationing in Florida. While visiting Mickey and the gang, it occurred to me that I had to place a whole lot of faith in people I have never met. Like those who design air planes and roller coasters, most specifically. But also taxi and bus drivers, food preparers, and housekeepers to name a few.
I wondered how many others visit Disney World? It seems the numbers vary widely depending on the source -- I found everything from 20 million to 41 million annual visitors. According to the Orlando Tourist Information Bureau, 50 million people visit the area every year.
That's a lot of mouse ears.
As the human population approaches 7 billion and with the U.S. now over 300 million, I can't help but marvel at the size of our modern world. The numbers are so large and yet... Something about the cheesy sing-songy kiddies' ride sparked my imagination. It's a world of laughter...
At one point, a member of our group counted hearing 8 languages at one of the WDW theme parks.
As we move into the future, there will be more and more people. That also likely means it will be a less personal world. Disney World, much as it tries, wasn't built for you and me. It was built for us. The rides are for us. The buses were for groups.
I buy my food at Wal-Mart. I get my cell phone service from AT&T.
I had a great time last week and none of it would have been possible without the promise of big numbers. There's something unsettling about that.
Thursday, February 11, 2010
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
Et tu K2?
After I interviewed Colby Compton for my K2 story in this issue of CFP, he asked me if I thought the product-- a mix of herbs blended with a synthetic cousin of THC, the active ingredient in marijuana-- should be made illegal. I told him I didn't have an opinion. And that was true.
Now that the story is out, I've thought a lot about that question. For years I've thought marijuana should be made legal. In short, I think the prohibition of marijuana hasn't done anything to deter its use, and it's common knowledge that the stuff smokers toke today is more potent than their parents weed. Has anyone seen the potency of cigarettes increase since the 60s? I won't argue that its safe, but I would argue that it should be legalized and regulated.
Well, K2 aint weed, but it may soon be treated like the dope. Legislators are pushing an initiative that would make it a controlled substance. In the meantime, as the story points out, those taking certain drugs and smoking K2 may want to be careful.
When I spoke to Terry Barks, St. John's clinical information specialist, he said the prohibition of K2 was a significant social issue. And I think that's true.
Over the last several months, we've seen a large number of people stand up against a nationalized health care system-- effectively stopping reform measures in Congress with an unexpected Senate victory in Massachusetts. I personally would have liked to see some form of regulation pass because I think costs are out of control. However, I will say the most powerful argument I've heard against reform came from a friend. It was what I would call the Constitutional argument. It went like this:
If I have religious freedom including freedom from religion in America, why can't I have freedom from health care?
The plan in Congress would have required all Americans choose a plan. And I didn't have a comeback for my friend. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is good enough for me. If people want to smoke incense, I'm not going to stand in their way. But I want them to know what their smoking.
Now that the story is out, I've thought a lot about that question. For years I've thought marijuana should be made legal. In short, I think the prohibition of marijuana hasn't done anything to deter its use, and it's common knowledge that the stuff smokers toke today is more potent than their parents weed. Has anyone seen the potency of cigarettes increase since the 60s? I won't argue that its safe, but I would argue that it should be legalized and regulated.
Well, K2 aint weed, but it may soon be treated like the dope. Legislators are pushing an initiative that would make it a controlled substance. In the meantime, as the story points out, those taking certain drugs and smoking K2 may want to be careful.
When I spoke to Terry Barks, St. John's clinical information specialist, he said the prohibition of K2 was a significant social issue. And I think that's true.
Over the last several months, we've seen a large number of people stand up against a nationalized health care system-- effectively stopping reform measures in Congress with an unexpected Senate victory in Massachusetts. I personally would have liked to see some form of regulation pass because I think costs are out of control. However, I will say the most powerful argument I've heard against reform came from a friend. It was what I would call the Constitutional argument. It went like this:
If I have religious freedom including freedom from religion in America, why can't I have freedom from health care?
The plan in Congress would have required all Americans choose a plan. And I didn't have a comeback for my friend. "Life, liberty and the pursuit of happiness" is good enough for me. If people want to smoke incense, I'm not going to stand in their way. But I want them to know what their smoking.
Saturday, January 30, 2010
Happy Birthday, Boobie
I first saw Will when his mother showed me a picture of a little tan-skinned boy with curly hair sitting on Santa Claus' lap. She told me the boy was her son. I said "congratulations!" because I didn't know what to say.
Within a couple of months I was dating the boy's mother. That was January '95. Boobie, her affectionate name for him then (and sometime's now when the moment feels right), would turn 3-years-old that month. Today he turns 18.
I've always thought I was lucky to get in good with him at such a young age. Had I met him at 7 or 8 or 9, it's possible he would have never liked me. His mom said once that he was basically an adult at age 10. And I think that's true.
Around that time he watched Pokemon a lot-- a show about a boy roughly the same age who traveled independently with his Pokebal. Ash went from tournament to tournament with his ball and his pets fighting more experienced trainers. I can see now how he felt connected to that show.
At 18, Will is smarter than his stronger friends and stronger than his smarter friends. If he even has smarter friends. He's confident, but quiet around people he doesn't know. He sings songs loud and off-key when he chooses to sing. But he hasn't been uncool for years. He never smiles in pictures.
Before his Grandpa Bud died, when Will was 12 or 13 or so, we had gone over for dinner. I think this was near the time that became a weekly event. Bud had a camcorder, and as soon as Will walked in the door Bud asked Will to stand still because he wanted to take his picture.
Will stopped right in front of the camera, and simply looked in. He didn't pose, as most would do. He didn't avert his eyes or talk to others-- he just stood there and let his Great-Grandpa videotape him. Bud had pulled his eye away from the view-finder for a moment to look at him, perhaps a little taken aback by his great-grandson's lack of shyness, his lack of goofiness. Then he took took the camera back, and the two stared honestly at each other for a minute before turning his attention to others.
Today is Will's birthday, and he is over at a friend's house. In the fall he is moving to Columbia to start college. He's played varsity football, and he's beaten Kickapoo. His G.P.A. is good. His A.C.T. score was more than enough.
We're here if you need us, Will. We're not going anywhere.
Monday, January 18, 2010
Remember MLK
Today I was lucky enough to tune in to Imus in the Morning and hear Martin Luther King Jr.'s "I have a dream" speech. That Imus. Yes.
If you have never actually heard the speech in full, you really should take a couple of minutes to hear the actual audio clip.
I found it on a Web site devoted to American Rhetoric. The site ranked MLK's speech No. 1 out of the 100 top speeches, many of which it has clips for. Check it out.
If you have never actually heard the speech in full, you really should take a couple of minutes to hear the actual audio clip.
I found it on a Web site devoted to American Rhetoric. The site ranked MLK's speech No. 1 out of the 100 top speeches, many of which it has clips for. Check it out.
Sunday, January 10, 2010
Left and right
I found this infographic when stumbling on Stumble Upon, and I have to admit I'm fascinated with it.
It compares generalizations about conservatives and liberals in a seemingly consistent, if not totally objective, ways. A lot of it appeared to be based on objective data, but I didn't see the sources.
For example, the conservative parent tends to be more strict, more religious, and produces a more disciplined child, a more self-reliant adult.
The liberal parent tends to be more nurturing, more empathetic, and produces a more reflective child, a more fulfilled adult.
Liberals favor equality. Conservatives prefer freedom. Liberals tend to be urban; conservatives are more rural. Individuals on the left might be attracted to careers like science, teaching, media (I thought that was interesting). Those on the right might prefer to become a police officer, in the military, or in sales.
I can't decide how much I agree with it, but I like it because I think authors were being honest and non-judgmental. So often, any examination of the left or right thinking comes with such obvious bias that you can only agree with the view if you fall on the side being promoted.
The graphic comes from a fabulous Web site that appears to have roots in England (it has an English version), and so I think perhaps the authors' distance from the American political system offers some good insight. In fact, it has a lot of cool charts on all sorts of interesting topics. But, I am getting side-tracked.
Lately, I've been feeling that politics has become so divided that it seems almost impossible to have an honest discussion with anyone about any important civic topic without worrying I'd be saddled with one label or another. Both have negative connotations by the way.
Be honest, If I told you I was a conservative, would you roll your eyes? If I told you I was liberal, would you be disappointed?
According to a recent Gallup poll, in 2009 49.0 percent of Americans saw themselves as Democrats or leaned Democratic. Gallup found that 40.7 percent of Americans identified themselves as Republicans or leaned Republican. The Dem number is down from 2008, and the Reps number is up. In 2003 the two parties were separated by one tenth of one percent.
I didn't see any numbers for bleading-heart commie v. bible-thumping nutjobs. I'd like to think they have about 5 percent each. At most.
It compares generalizations about conservatives and liberals in a seemingly consistent, if not totally objective, ways. A lot of it appeared to be based on objective data, but I didn't see the sources.
For example, the conservative parent tends to be more strict, more religious, and produces a more disciplined child, a more self-reliant adult.
The liberal parent tends to be more nurturing, more empathetic, and produces a more reflective child, a more fulfilled adult.
Liberals favor equality. Conservatives prefer freedom. Liberals tend to be urban; conservatives are more rural. Individuals on the left might be attracted to careers like science, teaching, media (I thought that was interesting). Those on the right might prefer to become a police officer, in the military, or in sales.
I can't decide how much I agree with it, but I like it because I think authors were being honest and non-judgmental. So often, any examination of the left or right thinking comes with such obvious bias that you can only agree with the view if you fall on the side being promoted.
The graphic comes from a fabulous Web site that appears to have roots in England (it has an English version), and so I think perhaps the authors' distance from the American political system offers some good insight. In fact, it has a lot of cool charts on all sorts of interesting topics. But, I am getting side-tracked.
Lately, I've been feeling that politics has become so divided that it seems almost impossible to have an honest discussion with anyone about any important civic topic without worrying I'd be saddled with one label or another. Both have negative connotations by the way.
Be honest, If I told you I was a conservative, would you roll your eyes? If I told you I was liberal, would you be disappointed?
According to a recent Gallup poll, in 2009 49.0 percent of Americans saw themselves as Democrats or leaned Democratic. Gallup found that 40.7 percent of Americans identified themselves as Republicans or leaned Republican. The Dem number is down from 2008, and the Reps number is up. In 2003 the two parties were separated by one tenth of one percent.
I didn't see any numbers for bleading-heart commie v. bible-thumping nutjobs. I'd like to think they have about 5 percent each. At most.
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